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Letting children do a wee in the garden

77 replies

emkana · 09/08/2004 23:07

When dd1 was one I had a friend round whose dd was nearly three and fully toilet-trained at the time. She asked me if her dd could do a wee in my garden, as this was what she would do at home when playing outside. I said 'not really' and I think the look on my face said it all. My friend thought I was being silly and that I would know better once my dd1 got older, but now my dd1 is three and toilet-trained herself I still wouldn't dream of letting her pee in my, let alone anybody else's garden - I would only let her wee somewhere other than on a toilet in an emergency.
What about everybody else?

OP posts:
Blu · 10/08/2004 16:20

LOL Twiglett and Jellyhead

daisy1999 · 10/08/2004 16:36

I can't believe someone would ask if their child could wee in your garden! My answer would most definatley be NO. I always make children wash their hands after weeing and I wouldn't want my children stepping in it or putting their hands in it.

dinosaur · 10/08/2004 16:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

zebra · 10/08/2004 17:17

DS is 4yo and asks to wee in the garden... I would rather he didn't and DH gets quite cross about it -- but, big BUT, when DS2 comes to toilet train in say, 2yrs time, and it will be convenient to let DS2 just learn to control himself in the garden, or just jump out of the paddling pool and back in again, whatever, how will I explain to DS1 that DS2 can wee in the garden, but he (DS1) can't?

Oh, sod it, I decided. Let DS1 wee out there for now and as soon as DS2 is toilet trained, the next winter, the entire brood will be banned from it.

DD of course, refuses to go anywhere but in the loo, which can be a real pain tbh!

I'd be horrified if they asked to wee in anybody else's garden, though... though maybe Throckenholt's would be ok. She doesn't have a garden so much as "grounds".

bundle · 10/08/2004 17:21

definitely wee in the garden. dd2 does it in the kitchen too. thank god for quarry tiles.

bundle · 10/08/2004 17:21

(that's dd1 btw, not me...though you never know if i get taken short)

Fio2 · 10/08/2004 17:31

well the dogs piss in our garden so what do you do?

and many a man we's up the back passage here??!!!!!!! uurghhhhhh

throckenholt · 10/08/2004 19:09

zebra - if I remember rightly your DS1 has already christened our grounds

fruitful · 10/08/2004 19:22

Ooh, interesting to see all these viewpoints. DD is just potty-trained and refuses to wee anywhere other than in potty or toilet so its not an issue. Which is a shame actually - I'd quite like to teach her the skill of weeing behind a bush! I remember as a child being out on a long country walk, desperate for a wee, and being physically unable to "let go" while squatting behind a bush. Had to hold it for ages till we found a public loo, it was agony! Don't want my dd to have similar inhibitions, most inconvenient.

Now, another question on a similar subject - what about emptying a potty whilst out? We were in a National Trust car park, too far from the loos for dd to hold it, and I had the potty with us so she used it next to the car. I emptied it in the bushes at the edge of the car park. Was that completely disgusting? What should I have done? I got one of those "pottette" things with the plastic liners but dd won't go in it...

essbee · 10/08/2004 19:27

Message withdrawn

expatkat · 10/08/2004 19:40

This response is similar to the one that I gave when you asked about children crumbling biscuits into your carpet etc.

I personally would tell ds off if he asked to wee in someone's garden and I certainly wouldn't go so far as encourage it as this mum apparently did. . .but if a mum asked me if it was OK for her child to wee in our garden, I would say yes. IMO the "damage" of a brief wee would be minimal enough to save this mum the embarrassment of a curt "no."

daisy1999 · 10/08/2004 19:41

But why would the mum ask something like that?

bea · 10/08/2004 20:12

garden weers in this household... with pph on this one... we do have a big garden, and dh (i suspect!) wees in the compost now and again... (i did put a stop to his hare brained idea of collecting his wee in bottles and 'encouraging' the compost!!!) dd always asks if she can water the plants and she does only do it on the boundaries of the garden... personally i love weeing in the open air (though not in the garden!) ... nip behind a bush or use a public loo?... the bush wins all the time!!! ahem! 'scuse the pun!

Jimjams · 10/08/2004 20:16

If you get stung by a jellyfish you should wee on it. Likewise if you get a nasty cut in the jungle you should clean it with wee- its sterile and much safer than using jungle water. perhaps we should be encouraging our children to wee everywhere.

Apparently if you wee around the edge of your garden it stops foxes coming in-useful if you have chickens.

bea · 10/08/2004 20:18

following on the 'feet looking like hooves ' thread, urea is also a very effective moisturiser... hmm!!!

tigermoth · 10/08/2004 21:25

A lot depends on the garden, I think. In a small patio garden on a hot summer's day, wee could soon smell, not matter how sterile it is. In a big rambling garden, I can't see a huge problem.

And in this case, the little girl was only 3 after all - hardly out of nappies. Talking of which, to those who are put off by a toilet trained 3 year old weeing anywhere but the toilet, would you expect nappy changing to take place only in the bathroom too? if this person had said do you mind if I change my 2.5 year old's poo-filled nappy in the garden, is that objectionable?

I think it's a good idea to generally encourage toilet use in tinies, but really not an issue to get worked up about, certainly not for a 3 year old. But I don't know your garden, embakana, or how near the toilet was, so I don't know how I would feel in your shoes.

When my youngest son was three we had a nasty 'wee' incident at a play farm. It was a very rainy, cold day and my son was in an indoor play area there. He was very, very excited. He suddenly made a run for the open door. I ran after him, just in time to see him pull down his trousers and wee outside. I tried to restrain him but it was too late. I thought, well at least the rain will wash it away and he is weeing onto concrete, albeit near the entrance. I didn't think more of it. 10 minutes later, one of the attendants (young male) came up to me, with a dustpan and broom and bucket, and asked me to clean up the disgusting mess my son had made. I was gobsmacked, apolgised for my young sons loss of control but refused. I told him that was no way to treat paying visitors. He was on the point of asking us to leave so I asked to see the manager. The mananger duly appeared. I told my story, pointed to my son and aplogised but said I would not clean up this so called mess. The manager accepted my apology, was ok about me not cleaning up and I stayed, but it spoiled the rest of the afternoon

sanssouci · 10/08/2004 22:04

How about this for a dilemma? I've always discouraged my 4 yr old DD from weeing in the garden, asking her, "Are you an animal? Only animals wee outdoors." However, the other day we were visiting some friends with a pool. Sopping wet, DD needed to pee and asked me to take her. Thinking of the friends' parquet floor, I hesitated. My freind, also parent to a 4 yr old DD, suggested she wee in the garden. What could I do but comply?

edam · 10/08/2004 22:22

Well it's better than weeing in the pool...

MeanBean · 10/08/2004 22:46

I think it depends on how trained the kids are and how unkind it would be to them if you didn't let them. I once had an experience similar to Tigermoth's, where in a charity shop, my three year old just potty trained DS suddenly urgently needed to go to the loo. The nearest public one was a ten minute walk, far too far for him in his newly trained state to be able to make it. So I asked if he could use the loo, and the shop assistant went off to ask the manageress who came back majestically and said no, they weren't insured for it!!! I asked her what insurance they needed for a three year old to do a wee, but meanwhile, DS in desperation had run outside and done a wee on the window! He just hadn't been able to wait. So I hoped her insurance covered window cleaning, and told her that she was very lucky he hadn't done it in his pants and on her carpet. My DD has just been potty trained and still does wee-wee's in the garden, but by next summer, the habit will have worn off because she will have got used to doing it in the house every time. Problem solved.

sanssouci · 10/08/2004 22:53

LOL, Meanbean!

Chinchilla · 11/08/2004 20:50

My friend allows her son to run around naked when in the garden, so I allow ds to as well. Neither of them are potty triained, although we have both had stabs at it (and failed miserably!!!) Obviously they both wee in both of our gardens, and we just hose it down. I don't think it is a big issue if the child is not potty trained.

cuppy · 11/08/2004 21:09

I think its gross. Wee is wee - be it adults or childs. I wouldnt want to be walking bare foot through my garden standing on other peoples pee. But then thats just me - maybe Im odd.
However - I may change my mind when i start to train dd.

Bozza · 11/08/2004 21:25

I have to say that when I was potty training DS I took the potty out in the garden with us - like I took it in the car and we had them located up and down stairs - so don't think this not being able to make it back into the house is a big issue.

DS has been trained for well over a year and has only just mastered the art of weeing not on a toilet due to peer pressure so currently at 3.5 he is asking to "wee in the bushes" from time to time and thinks this is a very grown up thing to do. Doesn't do it in the garden though.

tigermoth · 12/08/2004 08:31

but cuppy, but there must be all sorts of animal wee in your garden already - from wandering cats, sqirrels, etc. And bird poo. Unless you always wear shoes aren't you bound to tread on some of it?
Personally I'd rather my bare foot touched some toddler wee than a snail trail or a slug

Twiglett · 12/08/2004 08:33

message withdrawn

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