Mornington Crescent rides again

[Andrewofgg]

Maida Vale. Just to make it difficult.

At last.

Cometh the hour, cometh the Crescenter: one who will play the sort of bold move that allows us to make true progress. Two words and one of them directional - the scope is endless and I will begin by luxuriating in the freedom to move to West Wycombe.

In which case, playing the homophone rule

West Wickham

I move to North Dulwich, where a few years ago a kind train driver waited about 20 seconds for myself and another person to get down to the platform and on the train. An act of kindness I remember, and the other person thanked the train driver when we arrived, I think at London Bridge.

Presumably the driver plays or played the game of games.

There is no part of society in which one will not find players of the game of games. Indeed, I have heard that it passes the time for prisoners in the high security wing at Wormwood Scrubs and the prospect of release on licence to participate in the Mumbai qualifiers is what keeps them going.

East Croydon

I don't think there is much to do on a Saturday evening in East Croydon, so shall move to Sutton in the hope of finding a nice pub or restaurant.

You mean of course Sutton in Yorkshire and we will therefore move to the nearby village of Kilburn.

The most vicious Crescenter I ever played was the late QM. Some of us remember when she entered the Devonshire Juvenile competition dressed as the boy from the Milky Way adverts and responded to Saltburn with a reverse shuttle to Goole. Gobsmacked, we were, all of us, utterly gobsmacked.

As for East Croydon, there is nothing to do there except get away to London toot-sweet.

Toot sweet, you say? In that case, it has to be

Seven Sisters Road

The first case of the disused tram rule- an innovation on a Sunday morning that could have caught us all out.

I never met the late mother of our present Queen. I can imagine that in the times of war many a good game took place in the Palace with her teaching her daughters the finer points of the game of games. it may be that the game of games was therefore played on Mystique.

Use of the former tram rule takes us to Manor House.

I am going to invoke Perkins’ Proviso: the caravan will proceed in a disorderly fashion to Horsham where we will disport ourselves as befits the top echelon of Crescenters. I’ve warned the rozzers to keep at a respectful distance, and I’ve got the photos of the Chief Constable’s MIL and the Manx cat stowed away in case they fail to take the hint.

Even a hint that I might be considered in the top echelon of Crescenters is music to my ears. Let us adjourn forthwith to

St Leonard's Warrior Square

Enough with the false modesty, Maud - when the Inner Council meets they can’t start without us, as the hangman said to the murderer.

Rochester - and in view of the date please remember that the next move must also be to somewhere out of the Metropolis and mentioned by that very fine practitioner of the Game of Games Charles Dickens.

It is the birthday of Isambard Kingdom Brunel, a man who really created the landscape and locations possible for much of the game of games. Who ventured far from the metropolis though mainly in a westerly direction.

I will venture a short distance from Rochester to Gravesend, scene of part of one of Mr Dickens's finest works, Great Expectations.

For dear Isambard's sake, then, we must head to

Bristol Temple Meads

Isambard built fine connections between places already well-known to Crescenters; just as the Romans so sensibly built the road to Bath near the future sites of Windsor Castle and Heathrow Airport. Such practical people.

Sampford Courtenay

I'm going to put all my Elephants in one Fair on the Isambard Route.

St Germans

The west country saw Mr Brunel's bridge, which we now cross to go to Truro.

If we are going to take our courage in both hands and our passports in our pockets and go to Darkest Cornwall we positively must visit Indian Queens.

Oh and Saints - can I trouble you please to pack your electric rotumvator a little more carefully? That was a nasty blow it gave poor Pingu and she won't be sitting down anytime soon - well, not the way she likes sitting and who are we to criticise?

And so, taking the sleeper, we go to the other end of the country

Wick

Let's go one better to Lerwick.

God created the Hebrides
And on it fell the rain
And anything he didn't create
Belongs to Caledonian MacBrayne

Using the ferry rule we get to Thurso

... where we seem to have become stuck. So let’s move toot sweet to

Ely

Good idea. You mean of course the one near Cardiff Central

Oh, alright then. Since you insist. And thence to

Ferryside

I think that Severn Tunnel Junction calls, hoping there is a pub nearby.

That’s not cricket let alone the game of games, Saints. You know as well as I do which Crescenter is not allowed within five hundred yards of that station and why, at least not without the right articles about her person - and where is she going to find a pot of vermillion gloss paint and a copy of Gibbon’s Decline and Fall at this time of night?

To the safety of Hay-on-Wye.