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Original poster

WOULD LOVE TO LIVE IN A VILLAGE...SHOULD WE MOVE?

130 replies

noonar · 23/04/2007 14:45

we have 2 dds aged 2.9 and 5. dd1 is v happy at school. we have lots of friends and live in a lovely area...but, we've been here 14 yrs and fancy a change. and our house is on a v busy road and we are sick of the traffic noise.

we have lovely villages 20 mins drive away, and i would so love to be somewhere more peaceful.

how can i tell whether this is a just a pipe dream, or a really sensible idea? would we be mad to give up our friends and life in a nice community, just because we're a bit bored? and i worry about disrupting dd1's schooling. she's v happy here she is.

have considered quieter streets nearby, but they just don't excite me in the way that a more to the country does.

am also worried we'd really regret it if we moved and didnt make friends easily etc.

any advice? anyone had a similar dilemma?

TIA xx

OP posts:
Enid · 23/04/2007 14:48

20 minutes is nothing! why on earth are you worrying about it!

cant you move 20 mins away and keep dd at her school? and keep your friends?

villages are annoying as you cannot walk to the shops - but yes they are peaceful

Hathor · 23/04/2007 14:49

Depends on the village. In a village there are less people to choose from. Do some research before you move. Go to the local pub, school, shop, playground and see what it feels like.

fryalot · 23/04/2007 14:50

Villages also sometimes don't accept you into their community. If you fit in, then they are wonderful places, where everyone knows each other and the kids can play in relative safety anywhere, because someone will always be looking out for them.

However, if your face doesn't fit (and there is NO formula for telling if it will or not) then you feel very, very isolated, alone and left out.... as Enid says, you are a long way from the shops and if there is nobody to even say hello to, the days get very very long

(hence you tend to mumsnet all day )

CantSleepWontSleep · 23/04/2007 14:53

Best ways to make friends in a village are generally through going to the village pub, church or toddler group. Do you have time and inclination for these activities?

Hathor · 23/04/2007 14:53

If there is a pub, when you go in, check if it goes quiet and they all look round. If so get away fast

Seriously, if you love the idea, then go talk to people in the village. Village people love to gossip.

yesireallycan · 23/04/2007 14:54

We live in a village and love it. But yes you can't walk to the shops, and buying anything bigger than a pint of milk means a major expedition. It is quiet here but we have do cows down the lane which make a lot of noise (and smell) and a milk lorry thunders past twice a day on it's way to the farm. In summer we all get hayfever and in winter everything is pretty much covered in mud. There is no social life really at leats not in our village which is small - and if we drive to the pub or whatever then one of us can't have a drink. You do rely on a car a lot more when you live in a rural place. No cinema, no B&Q, no post office, no bank, no cash machine, so playground, no swimming pool, no buses, no library.....well we do have those but not without driving. But we DO love it for the beautiful views, DD goes to a lovely little rural school, the air is clean and fresh, and the locals are friendly. I guess it all depends on what you want, and what your expectations are.

Hillls · 23/04/2007 14:55

You get one shot of life, if you want to move then do so. If you dont like it you can always leave

zippitippitoes · 23/04/2007 14:55

you must have a fair idea what the villages you are thinking of are like after 14 years?

it just depends what you like doing whether that 20 minute drive back into town is going to become irritating

and what do you do in town..if you like being able to walk to places then it might not be for you

are they villages which have anything interesting about them or are they just dormitories

do you go out to work?

are you a village hall, committee , society, type?

is anyone in these villaghes like that or are they just places to live?

moopymoo · 23/04/2007 14:55

we live in a Hamlet..oh for the big lights of a village. Better than traffic noise though.

Original poster
noonar · 23/04/2007 15:27

enid, i can keep dd1 at the school for 2 years. she would then have to re apply for the juniors. she wouldnt get in. also, her sister wouldnt get into the infants. both are fantastic, oversubscribed schools. its the school issue that complicates things. otherwise it is pretty straightforward.

thanks to others for advice. i think that lots of new families have moved in to the area, so its not just full of people who've grown up there, like their ancestors! am not too worried about fitting in, as are friends qwill be close, but am worried i may have a slightly romantic vision of what it would be like.

OP posts:
fryalot · 23/04/2007 15:28

but it is romantic, so a romantic vision is fine. If you are aware of potential bad points, and have got a way round them (which it sounds like you have) then your romantic view is probably about right.

Original poster
noonar · 23/04/2007 15:36

squonk, thanks for your post. you know what, i dont think this is really about whether village life would suit us. am pretty sure it would. its more about whether i can justify disrupting dd1's schooling, just cos i fancy a change.

i actually dont mind taking a bit of a chance. we could alwys move back. but not without messy about with the schools.

OP posts:
hereiam · 23/04/2007 15:41

noonar... i live in a tiny village (population 500, no shop, only a pub and a village green) and I love it and my DDs love it.
You have to be of the mindset to be open and friendly (which I'm sure you are!) when you move to a village. I have always supported all the village things, donated raffle prizes, made cakes etc. Because of that we are accepted! It took a few years mind...!

fryalot · 23/04/2007 15:41

Does the village that you are thinking of have a school?

The only thing I actually like about our village is the school. I would have no hesitation in moving any of my kids into this school.

fryalot · 23/04/2007 15:42

population 500???? that's practically a city!

(our population is less than 100)

hereiam · 23/04/2007 15:46

Wow... Squonk... tiny!

(Can I just say I love yr name.... have seen it before and if I could ever have thought of it myself, I would have loved it!)

fryalot · 23/04/2007 15:48

thank you

PavlovtheCat · 23/04/2007 15:53

We moved from one city to another city to be closer to our friends. Since having our DD, we dont get many visitors and the ones we get the most live way out in the countryside! We wish we had moved to the country in the firstplace!
I think your real friends will not be bothered about a 20 min journey. Your family will love it, and from my experiences of friends in villages, it is relatively easy to make new friends and have good commnity involvement.
I think it sounds wonderful. I would, in a shot. But its got to be right for you.

expatinscotland · 23/04/2007 15:56

We live in a city, but we aren't really city people.

If you don't mind being a bit more isolated, then give it a shot!

We'll be leaving behind the city life for good shortly ourselves.

Original poster
noonar · 23/04/2007 16:04

thanks all. so do you think its not such a big deal to change shools, then?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/04/2007 16:05

No.

I mean, it's one school.

And then there's the rest of their lives, which will be full of changes.

She's 5, not 15.

Now's the time to make a change.

fryalot · 23/04/2007 16:07

If the village has a school, I suspect that you will be over the moon with it. It's more of a big deal for us when our kids change schools, we expect them not to settle, but they tend to just get on with it.

If she does go to the village school, the local children will all play together inside and out of school.

If that is all that is holding you back, ring the estate agent now.

Original poster
noonar · 23/04/2007 16:08

thanks, expat. by the way it, has a population of 1600, a good school, great secondary school 5 mins drive away, fantastic pub, chemist, gift shop, tea room, deli/ grocer....what am i waiting for???

well as well as the schols issue, there is v little property for sale, so we must be patient.

OP posts:
fryalot · 23/04/2007 16:10

sounds perfect.

Original poster
noonar · 23/04/2007 16:10

ps, i know it sounds big, but it is a village, i promise.

OP posts: