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Original poster

WOULD LOVE TO LIVE IN A VILLAGE...SHOULD WE MOVE?

130 replies

noonar · 23/04/2007 14:45

we have 2 dds aged 2.9 and 5. dd1 is v happy at school. we have lots of friends and live in a lovely area...but, we've been here 14 yrs and fancy a change. and our house is on a v busy road and we are sick of the traffic noise.

we have lovely villages 20 mins drive away, and i would so love to be somewhere more peaceful.

how can i tell whether this is a just a pipe dream, or a really sensible idea? would we be mad to give up our friends and life in a nice community, just because we're a bit bored? and i worry about disrupting dd1's schooling. she's v happy here she is.

have considered quieter streets nearby, but they just don't excite me in the way that a more to the country does.

am also worried we'd really regret it if we moved and didnt make friends easily etc.

any advice? anyone had a similar dilemma?

TIA xx

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 25/04/2007 15:03

We are leaving with the full understanding that we will never live in Edinburgh again, fox, as we are just barely hanging on now and know we won't be able to afford it.

So you bring up a very valid point.

It's often not a case of 'if you don't like it you can move back'.

It can indeed require some letting go.

foxcub · 25/04/2007 15:54

expat - we are only hanging on in London by me working f/t. Having just had my third child I am thinking "I really don't want to do this now - I want to spend some time with my kids"....

How long have you been considering the move, before making the decision IYKWIM?

expatinscotland · 25/04/2007 15:57

About a year, fox.

We just can't do this anymore.

We hate the lack of space, no garden, flat dwelling life.

foxcub · 25/04/2007 20:05

Sounds like its a no brainer really doesn't it? I've been obsessing for about 6 months - the only way I can afford to work p/t (rather than f/t) is to shed our mortgage, which is crippling us atm....and move somewhere cheaper.

You must come back on here in a few months and tell us whether you made the right move!!

Pollyanna · 25/04/2007 20:15

noonar, we nearly bought a house in a village near here instead of the one we live in (in the City). I'm glad we didn't because we didn't know anyone, but we are thinking that if we need more space (and we do) we might move out now that we know people and know the area better.

I do worry about the dcs getting bored when they are older though (even before they are teenagers) and having to drive everywhere. I love to shop/go for coffees/walk to the park/beach/different toddler groups etc and I'm not sure if I would be happy with one weekly toddler group in the church hall and no shops.

Having said that, where the dcs go to school (B C) alot of the parents live in villages and love it. they come into town and meet people very regularly and don't seem to mind the driving.

(I'm interested to know which village [nosy emoticon] )

alhambra · 25/04/2007 20:18

i would like to put spanner in works and say DONT DO IT!

notasheep · 25/04/2007 20:20

Not good when its a 4 mile walk to get a newspaper and a 16 mile drive to the nearest supermarket.
Villages can be pretty and delightful,ours only had 300 residents and poverty.
So i am back in the town and walk everywhere

Original poster
noonar · 25/04/2007 20:42

wow, just finished reading all your posts have been at work for a couple of days, so neglected MN! (i really must sort out my priorities in life!)

i've been thinking about moving on and off for a year.

it's just the bloody school issue taht worries me. and my mum lives on my door step ATM, and wouldnt be able to pick up the girls from school, as she doesnt drive.

she'd be upset if she couldnt see them quite as often. so you see, its not rational logistical stuff that i'm worried about ( eg ferrying teenagers), but the relationship stuff. not quite so straight forward!

have read all your replies with interest

OP posts:
foxcub · 25/04/2007 20:50

noonar - I think its really important to consider your Mum seeing your kids, its crucial I would say.

Al - why do you say don't do it?!

Original poster
noonar · 25/04/2007 20:57

oh gawd, this is so hard.

am thinking i could ferry MUM in by taxi to pick up the girls, never mind the teenagers!

hi pollyanna ummmmmmmmmm, what the hell, we're thinking of .....ditchling. there. i've said it.

now youre all going to tell me you saw that docu thing about it that i missed.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 25/04/2007 20:59

Could you get a place with a granny flat out back for your mom?

Original poster
noonar · 25/04/2007 21:00

intersting suggestion, paula. in a word ....ummmm... NO WAY (sorry, that was 2 words)

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 25/04/2007 21:02

sorry just a thought

Original poster
noonar · 25/04/2007 21:02

i know, thanks for your post xx

OP posts:
Pollyanna · 25/04/2007 21:07

Ha! that was our village too Noonar. Don't watch the documentary it will put you off. Also I didn't particularly like the school (sorry) - the headmaster put me off totally (but you know more about schools than I do).

Original poster
noonar · 25/04/2007 21:15

small world, pollyanna!

what didnt you like about the school?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 25/04/2007 22:12

We're in a different situation in that this move is going to be a major improvement in our living arrangements, which is a very small 2nd floor flat with NO outdoor space for the children.

I'm sick of my soul-destroying job and DH already has a transfer.

Yes, we will be farther from his parents and family, but there is no chance of our ever living in a proper house (we're renters).

We've been offered this amazing house to rent as the people who own it are good friends and they're moving abroad for two years.

The rent is so incredibly low it represents over a £300/month drop in rent alone.

Yet the council tax and gas bill is exactly the same was we're paying now.

We'd be mad to turn down an offer like this, as I'll only have to work part-time.

So it truly is a no-brainer for us.

Original poster
noonar · 26/04/2007 09:22

good luck with it, expat. sounds like a perfect solution for you.

OP posts:
foxcub · 26/04/2007 09:44

Sounds brilliant ex-pat - it will mean a major impriovement in your quality of life by the sounds of it

expatinscotland · 26/04/2007 09:47

Thanks, all.

It's just too good an offer to pass up, although the ILs think it's madness to ever move more than 10 miles from where you were born.

Well, until they can magic us up a house at a reasonable price, off we go.

MamaG · 26/04/2007 09:49

expat - you're already a lot further than 10 miles from where you were born

Sod the ILs, go for it, you'd be an idiot to pass this up. How old are your dc?

expatinscotland · 26/04/2007 09:57

Yeah, I don't get the ILs with that at all. I mean, if it were my kids, I'd be thrilled for them.

The girls are 3.10 and a 16-month-old baby.

DD1 said yesterday, 'Mama, I would like a garden.'

Thing is, my family's been wanting to help us get a house, but my dad wanted it to be a house, not a flat, which he considers poor long-term investments. He's also vetoed ex-council homes for a variety of reasons.

I see the wisdom of his reservations.

In this part of the country, it is still possible to make a purchase that will offer far better value for money than Edinburgh.

These two years will give us the chance to thoroughly explore that part of the country and where we would like to be permanently.

I think what is saddening to the ILs is that they know the score.

We can't stay here because it's entirely unaffordable for a decent house.

But they should take heart, we could have gone back to the US.

foxcub · 26/04/2007 11:10

We've had two ex council houses they've been fab - brill value for money (not arguing, just wanted to make that point ) and the only way we could afford a house in the area we wanted.

expat am feeling of your big move now - I must pluck up courage to do something similar...

Dinosaur · 26/04/2007 11:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MamaG · 26/04/2007 13:27

They'll just hav to get over it won't they. This is truly an amazing chance for your family, like you say you can really suss out the area and if you decide not to settle there you've lost nothing. Your little ones are young enough to move without it affecting them, as long as they are with you at that age, they're fine IME.

I'm really pleased for you expat, truly, I just hope theres a decent shoe shop nearby