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Original poster

Nikcolas Thread

401 replies

fairyfly · 19/07/2004 03:01

A thread for you to do what you do

OP posts:
motherinferior · 16/08/2004 09:41

Oh babe. Keep going. Keep going. You WILL be fine, you really will, even though it doesn't seem like it just at the moment.

Blu · 16/08/2004 10:40

How are you today Nik?
I think having a little shout at student support is a GREAT idea - it will push them into taking your needs seriously - and help you get things in general off your chest! (poor student support man!)
XXXX

nikcola · 17/08/2004 20:37

well i went to the collage today and student supprt was closed so ive got an appointment after my driving lesson on thursday so i can drive myself there

ive had my friend staying with me bless her and shes gone home now but shes staying on thursday and having dd wile i have driving lesson and collage appointment and she also helping me paint the bath room (i got the paint today)

dp rang me yeaterday from pakistan just to let me no he got there ok but i miss him sooooo much dd keeps asking where her daddy is

im keeping myself busy tomorow my friend that i used to work with is coming round with her dd and my other friend is staying here on sat and we are taking dd to the farm on sat so hopefully 2 weeks on my own wont seam so daunting but im still realy lonely sorry about the moan but dd,s asleep and im sad xxxxxxx

nikcola · 17/08/2004 20:38

what school did you go to ebbie are you 22 ??? im nearly 21

nikcola · 17/08/2004 21:50

mts you not here tonight

MummyToSteven · 17/08/2004 21:55

oh yes I am - briefly - bottle tops and teats are soaking, and am feeling hot, bothered and generally sorry for myself! Hope you kick some arse at Student Support on Thursday. Ate a packet of biscuits today .sorry you are feeling so lonely - you are doing the best thing though keeping busy. What colour's the bathroom? You can and will survive two weeks without him - it'll get easier than this, honest!

nikcola · 17/08/2004 22:11

oh sorry to hear that ur down im hot and botherd to, the bathroom will be powdered purple!!!! atm im sighning up for that free months trial with bolck buster where they post the dvds too you im a sucker for free stuff !!!!

motherinferior · 18/08/2004 08:54

I'm so sorry you're sad. Keep busy. Get out of the flat with dd as well. And arrange something special to do while the wedding's on!

nikcola · 18/08/2004 09:24

i dont no what day the wedding is on thank god or i woud be a nervous wreck,i watched a film last night and i was about a wedding and i ended up crying myself to sleep over it i look like a freak today with my huge puffy eyes x

MummyToSteven · 18/08/2004 10:58

poor you. you just have to keep busy like MI says. Now I'm trying to think of recent DVDs for you to get without any wedding scenes in... Lost in Translation? now my mind's gone blank.... what sort of films do you like?

nikcola · 18/08/2004 11:13

i couldnt get the free trial they wouldnt except my address so it looks like im going to be spendidng a fortune in blockbuster i like anything really im not fussy ive read 2 books allready

nikcola · 18/08/2004 16:13

he just rang again and i miss him more now

MummyToSteven · 18/08/2004 16:15

tell him not to ring. it's making you feel worse. is he just moaning about how tough it is for him? I've got a few dvds around i could lend u - series 1 +2 of League of Gentleman, Moulin Rouge, Cabaret, Ipcress File/Brief Encounter, Cabaret if that's any good

motherinferior · 18/08/2004 16:18

MTS is right. He got himself into this situation (yes, I know it's more complicated than that but he did). He can damn well get through it without making you feel even worse than you already are. Either that or he can get on a plane and come home.

Blu · 18/08/2004 16:57

Hang on in there you're doing well Nik - it must be really hard. Post a list of favourite videos/dvd's you'd like to borrow, and maybe Mumsnetters can lend them!

hercules · 18/08/2004 17:02

Oh Nikcola. Lots of cyberhugs to you. I wont do a sad face though as I dont want you to feel sad.

Just think of all those gorgeous men at college! Yummy!

nikcola · 18/08/2004 17:53

no he doesnt moan when he rings he just rings to see how me and dd are i dont even think he will comw home, just a feeling ive got that his family wont let him come back but if he does come home i want a long a serious chat with him before he even lays eyes on dd,

MummyToSteven · 18/08/2004 18:25

oh dear what a difficult situation. I don't know enough about him or his family to say whether they are likely to keep him there - tho I do think it is quite unlikely for a male to be treated that way. Just keep on going as best you can for the next few weeks, keep posting, and tell us what DVDs/books you fancy!

nikcola · 18/08/2004 22:04

i suppose ill cope on my own though dd is cheering me up ive kept her up so she can keep me company in a bit we are going to go to bed with ice cream and watch a film [how sad are we]

all i keep thinking about is him over there having a nice time while im stuck in rainy england with no money (well not enough) and a terrible toddler

nikcola · 18/08/2004 22:06

dvds well i like comedys anything really, i might go to bovvingdon market on sat after the farm and pick up some copy films

ebbie22 · 18/08/2004 22:09

Hi hope ur bearing up ok,Im 22 but from bucks so didnt go to school round here...

nikcola · 19/08/2004 10:50

ok , i used to live in houghton i lived in ashtree road do u go to dunstable much????

motherinferior · 19/08/2004 10:54

I completely understand why you're feeling like that but look at it another way. He's going through with an arranged marriage to someone he's never met, and I bet he's kicking himself for not having the guts to stick with the mother of his child. You, on the other hand, are about to start a course which will lead to an interesting, fulfilling career. You're going to meet lots of new and rather nice peope. AND by the time you are my age YOU will have a gorgeous grownup daughter to be your mate, instead of the toddlers Blu and I have!

nikcola · 19/08/2004 11:01

i think thats why im so down because im boared, why couldnt he have gone why im at collage then i would have been ok , ive got my appointment today with student support and i got my letter today from collage with the dtes for the induction its all so exciting (if they didnt make it so hard for me )

i do miss him a lot but 1 week havs nearly gone so he will be back soon but i dont no what to say to him when he gets back when he rang yesterday i asked have u got married and he said no and im not getting married ever unless its to you,
so maybee hes said no i dont no im just very confussed

motherinferior · 19/08/2004 11:06

Regarding student support: explain your situation and what you need, and ask what they can do to meet your needs, and get it set out in writing with clear instructions of anyone you need to contact and what you need to say to them. Ask repeatedly if there is extra money you should be applying for, either from the college or from other sources. Ask if there's anyone else you should contact about getting money, too.

Regarding him: sorry, but I think it's highly unlikely he won't get married now and I think you have to assume that he will. As you know, I think you should therefore tell him that's it - and that if he wants to see dd it's a matter of arranging that (I don't think you should cut her contact with him, for HER sake). Oh, and finally I think you should get the CSA onto him.

All of which is really tough, I know, but once you've got the student support stuff sorted you should feel better and stronger anyway, you really should.