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Original poster

SAHM Survival Tips

32 replies

Beccarollover · 07/07/2004 01:53

Looks like I may be becoming a SAHM to DD 4 and DS 10 months.

Top tips?

Dos and Donts?

I need an apple pie recipes as I romanticise about that smell wafting about the house while I comb through my daughters hair and rock the adoring baby on my knee....

OP posts:
unicorn · 07/07/2004 01:54

mumsnet mumsnet mumsnet mumsnet.
Did I mention mumsnet?!!!!!

maisystar · 07/07/2004 01:56

um....glass of wine at 6pm

cbeebies

and if you find another reasonably sane, human mother, don't lose her !!

unicorn · 07/07/2004 01:57

maisystar.. what just a glass?

tatcity · 07/07/2004 01:58

Beccarollover - are you pleased about this then?

Top tips: be relaxed, be positively anal about routines, don't worry about organising activities every day of the week. Try to read a newspaper and AVOID DAYTIME TELLY AT ALL COSTS (it's the slippery slope).

Finally, have a large drink when they've gone to bed:}

maisystar · 07/07/2004 01:59

you know unicorn, one of those ones you can fit a whole bottle in

tammybear · 07/07/2004 02:02

try not to get into a habit of just staying in the house, i did that and found it so hard to leave the house. even if its just a walk around the block it makes you feel a lot better. and definetly try not to become a couch potato watching cbeebies from the minute you get up until you put the kids to bed!!

unicorn · 07/07/2004 02:02

maisystar thats more like it!

[serious face icon] Tip.... make sure you get out and do something for you at somepoint regularly. it is very easy to get totally swamped by childcare/children and all things childish that you forget that you once has a brain/personality/sense of humour!!!!!!!

WideWebWitch · 07/07/2004 02:13

Ooh, congratulations becca!

Make lots of SAHM mum friends who you can ring and go to the park with, especially if you're having a bad day
Go out quite a bit, it's all a lot easier in wide open spaces (as Christopher Green says)
Forget about having a clean house, happy children are more important
Yeah, mumsnet!
Give yourself a break sometimes and stick the telly on and bribe them if you need 10 minutes peace before you lose it
Enjoy!

suzywong · 07/07/2004 02:27

lots of sensible advice here already

I would firstly welcome you to the sisterhood and then tell you to get a dishwasher if you don't already have one and then split the week in to sessions - mornings, afternoons, evenings, what ever works for you, and know what you are g oing to be doing for those sessions. Just roughly, like park, cbeebies, cafe, painting. It keeps you sane and then the long day doesn't seem never ending and overwhelming.

And everyone is so right about the evening drink.

polly28 · 07/07/2004 03:08

definately get the wine in!!
Keep to a routine and get out somewhere once a day.
meet other sahms at baby groups and meet up with each other.
try and use a local creche or friend to give yourself a break for atleast one hour a week.

Do not turn the telly on during the day unless it's desperate measures to get 10 minutes peace.

Try to remember why you are at home and tell yoourself you are lucky to beable to do a very important job even if they are driving you mad.

irishjewels · 07/07/2004 03:41

lurking here with large glass of wine thought i'd just say hello and agree with everything previously recommended, my ds (26mths) snoring upstairs. I took 6mths off work 2yrs ago .... don't want to go back EVER (well maybe when school starts)

sibble · 07/07/2004 07:33

agree with everything on here - especially making the most of other mums in same situation and make sure you get some ME time somewhere during the week, either use the creche at the shopping centre, friends/relatives or a drop off playgroup - whatever to have a sanity break. DS 4 is in bed at 6.30-7.00 every night and that is my sanity time.

Ghosty · 07/07/2004 09:28

Agree with most of these ...
Agree with Sibble ... I am strict with bedtime as come 7pm I have had it. Even is DS isn't in bed by then he knows that it is 'Grown Up' time and he should entertain himself as I am NOT going to ...
Glass of wine is a must ...
Try to go out once a day at least ... don't spend all your time at home, you will go crazy.
I have a neighbour who I can drop in on at any time and have a cup of tea and a natter with - just to get out ... she does the same with me.

And .. well done Becca! Congratulations! It is hard work (IMO harder than going to work) but so worth it!

batey · 07/07/2004 09:40

When does your dd start school? you could use this time to get her "ready" for school, letters and numbers etc? I made loads of friends through our local NCT group, which may help you when you're on your own with your ds (dd at school).

Trust me though, time really lies! I'll be waving dd2 off to school in Sept and part of me is heartbroken that all the pre-school years are gone. But on the other had it's such a pleasure watching them change into 2 gorgeous little girls. Enjoy it while you can.

batey · 07/07/2004 09:41

Time Flies, I mean!

melsy · 07/07/2004 15:01

Oh yeas 6:30 bedtime for babs/kids is am must , always plan some sitting in bed reading with nosh time , or a bath with oils candles and music time at leats once week , husband not included!!! Unless............ . WINE goes withought saying , and make sure you get at least 2 nice lunches planned for long days at home.prawns with something garlicky or a nice yummy cake. I do on and off days : glam mum goes about local town, and slob days in pjs with hair askew and no make up and one day in city for part time employment!!!!!!!Great I love it

I hope its all going ok for you today , you must tell us the news.

dinny · 07/07/2004 15:09

Join a gym with a creche. When I was at home with dd full-time she went 4-5 mornings a week while I went to gym/swimming/coffee. Met lots of people too.

OldieMum · 07/07/2004 16:21

And if you ever wish you were back at work, remember my colleague who asked me last week how I am getting on now I'm back from my 'holiday' (i.e. maternity leave). AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

codswallop · 07/07/2004 16:22

rota, deffo
make loadas for friends ( laways the best idea) no tv in the day
kids in bed by 7

dinny · 07/07/2004 16:26

yes, agree no TV in day. Quick route to depression, IMO. have stuff planned for morning and afternoon, then kids are content to play when you are actually at home (well, sometimes...)

find out about storytime at local library.

Fio2 · 07/07/2004 16:27

learn to enjoy the joys of alcohol

suzywong · 07/07/2004 16:28

VERY good idea about reminding yourself why you are doing this vital job.

Also, forget about having a spotless, pristine house. I fyou can manage it then great, but really, you'll have years of being neat once the kids have flown the nest

Original poster
Beccarollover · 07/07/2004 16:30

Well Im not sure I will actually be a SAHM now...

Predictably Ive been talked into staying BUT I think Im ok with what we have agreed.

Basically they understand between now and beginning of school is a busy time for me (getting DD ready to start school and moving house) so....there are a few days I have told them that I cant do so that takes the pressure off a bit.

The week after next I start working only 2 days a week and within school hours (9.30 - 2.30) and I have told them school holidays will be a problem and will only be able to work the days that I can arrange a friend or relative to look after them.

SO.....this arrangement means :

I get to drop off and pick up DD from school every day
I'll be home every day by 3.30 instead of 6.30 so will be less rushed at tea/bath/bedtime
I get 5 full days with DS and only away from him 9-3 2 days a week.
I potentially earn some money as come September I no longer need to pay childcare for DD and less childcare for DS - what I earn will be very little due to small amount of hours but is more than I earn now (nothing!)

Not sure how I feel, I THINK Im happy with it as it does solve lots of the grievances I have

BUT I was hankering after the whole SAHM life and feel a bit unsure.

I have asked the arrangements be on a trial basis and that I have the opportunity to decide to pack it all in at the end of that trial.

What do you think??

BTW great tips! I shall be using them all on my SAHM days!

OP posts:
suzywong · 07/07/2004 16:30

ROFL Fio2

I bet some lurking PHD student is cooking up a thesis on SAHMs and alcohloism.

But we all know, that glass of wine means -Well done you got through the day and now it's YOUR time to relax - because in our job there are no staff reviews of promotions or financial bonuses.

expatkat · 07/07/2004 16:39

Leave behind the corporate mentality of efficiency & task completition. You will drive yourself mad if you think, "But such-and-such HAS to get done now, but Junior won't let me!" In a way you'll be happier if a kind of "surrender" takes place, if you don't think too much about the tasks you really ought to be doing or would rather be doing. For me, that's the key: there's so much I'd rather be doing than playdough, but I've learned to dismiss those thoughts and enjoy the moment to whatever extent possible.

I agree with others who say leave the house as much as possible. Paradoxically it's much more work to hang about the house--you usually need to suggest amusing activities and play along. Whereas there's a lot more built-in entertainment at a park or a drop-in; and plenty of stimulation to be had by watching people on the bus or on the street. Also, leaving the house will help you forget about the mess there And their toys will be all the more exciting for those times when you really do need to stay around the house.