Another delurking to send love and light
And in honour of Zombie and the truly incredible support around her, am using a NN I haven't used for years as I want to share my experience of what MN'ers collectively and MN'ers individually do genuinely gift others. I'm thinking very specifically of Zombie zooming off into the night to help someone she didn't know, had never met, but irrespective of those minor details gave a shit about; I'm thinking about the waves of love being extended to Zombie from folks near and far.
My NN was indeed AM (often with different prefixes or suffixes) and I posted on here in utter desperation, utter utter profound desperation, just lost in the depths of PTSD whilst simultaneously trying to keep it all together for the DC and whilst still dealing with a multitude of shit on various fronts. I was truly broken.
And just like Zombie did that mad night when she shot off to help that stranger, to my utter astonishment and amazement (& in spite of my then very high paranoia) many MN'ers came to this then strangers aid in RL. They held my hand and wiped my snot; they cleaned my house; they gifted me massages (sorry Zombie, I am NOT talking about dirty massages
) to try and gift me sleep, some respite from the horrors of active PTSD. They were fucking awesome and I have since been able to pay some of that forward, to in turn support others on here in RL.
Unbelievably to me, as well as that (still just breathtakingly incredible) RL help, there was a rock solid wall of support on here in the form of TeamAM who stuck with me through thread after thread, offering words of comfort and glimmers of hope and laughter from every corner of the world. We had a raft, decked out Ibiza stylee, and I was held by them so I didn't have to float alone. This is neither the time nor the place, but I will at some point start a thread to reconnect with those incredible women, some of whom I see on here (I'm looking at you Bewitched, and at the beautiful Married with whom there is no need to 'reconnect' as she remains a constant in my life and one of my utter besties ).
And the reason I am resurfacing as AM today is to pay testament to the awesomeness of Zombie in her own dash to help someone in RL, to say that I know how it feels to have been on the receiving end of that unconditional sisterhood and care, and that it fucking rocks. Just as Zombie rocks
And also to say just how much it genuinely meant when people delurked to chime in with their virtual support on here - just as you lovely lot are doing now for the legend that is Zombie, and I am praying that someone is sitting with her reading out your messages of love; that she feels that swell of care and knows that she is loved; and that she has touched the hearts of many, including folks like me who have never met her. That her indomitable resilience and humour has touched many, and will continue to do for many MN years to come.
Fly high Zombie in the knowledge that you have left an indelible mark - may you dance eternally 