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Original poster

Help me with my wedding :)

134 replies

Beccarollover · 21/06/2004 19:14

I got engaged in February and we are starting to look around at venues to set the date for late summer next year hopefully.

Thing is, we have two young children, just about to move house and no savings BUT really want to get married and I really want to have a big day surrounded by friends and family (as oppose to running off and eloping or going abroad)

After my initial investigations I felt really depressed about how much it was going to cost us and thought we wouldnt be able to do it.

Firstly any money saving tips from you guys would be great, secondly this is what Im thinking......

Get married on a Friday (does this cut costs?)
Go to registry office for actual ceremony
Take 40 daytime guests to a restaurant for nice meal
Have evening reception at lovely venue
for about 150

Im thinking that this should be a way of still getting the kind of venue I want (but cant afford for the whole caboodle) - what do you think???

OP posts:
bundle · 22/06/2004 14:43

we got married here , had the do there in the evening too.

Tetley · 22/06/2004 15:01

We hired a local hall & decorated it ourselves (plus friends) the day before with greenery & balloons.
We had a late wedding (3pm I think) so that we just had one lot of food - which was a hot buffet done by a local caterer, who also did the bar, and we hired a local ceildh band for the music.

My cousin's wife did a bit of photography as a hobby so we just asked her to bring her camera & gave her a bag full of films! My aunt made the cake & my sister made my dress!

It wasa very low key affair, but was good fun & everyone has always said how much they enjoyed it

I think you need to make sure that you sort out what you want out of the day, and not to get carried away with what anyone else might expect - I think that's when it can start to be very pricey.

mummytosteven · 22/06/2004 15:34

Hi!

We got married on the relatively cheap(about £2,000 including dress, hotels, two receptions).First of all ignore the wedding mags!

First things first - Friday weddings does not always cut costs - people have to take time off work for daytime ceremony - tho that could be a good way of reducing costs . My wedding was at Nottingham Registry Office and was very pleasant in a brief civil ceremony sort of way. We had about 40 guests at an afternoon reception in a nice old pub in Nottingham - 3 course meal, plus few bottles of wine included for £10 per head. The evening reception wasn't that big - it was at the Hogshead in Liverpool = so may not be your idea of a lovely venue but it was great - friendly staff, nice food, very laid back. The Hogshead actually do a free very basic pork pie and sausage role buffet - but we went for indian snacks for a few quid per head. The Hogshead also put us in touch with a DJ, who did a disco for about £100.

So now the tips-

  1. ask the cost of a meal for a party, without mentioning its a wedding till you've agreed prices! many hotels etc do conference menus that are a lot cheaper than their wedding packages
  2. what are you doing for a dress. Monsoon do some nice off the peg wedding dresses and ordinary dresses for £100 to £200 - much cheaper than a wedding dress shop! I got my wedding dress from Hobbs - purple silk dress and jacket for £250. 3.Invites- I was a real cheapskate and just got some from Smiths for a tenner and hand wrote them. If you have a friend/family member with lovely handwriting, try and bribe them with ale 4.Cake - ditto. If you know a champion cake baker, have them do the cake as a wedding pressie. My friend's mum did that for us - it was fab as took the worry and expense out of it, and tasted great (ginger cake - prefer that to buttercream sponge) 5.cars etc. Black cab from hotel to reg. office was fine for me! 6.hair and make up - the only thing I wish I had spent more money on, and done a trial run of. 7.Hot buffet rather than 2 receptions is a good idea - if people get a nice big hot meal they woh't feel they are missing out by getting it themselves.
bundle · 22/06/2004 15:35

aren't they register offices??

mummytosteven · 22/06/2004 15:37

Hang my head in shame for the grammatical error. though reassured to see beccarollover also did "registry" office so not just me!!!

Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 10:34

Oops - sorry REGISTER office it is

Thanks for the tips they look great....

Now, one thing that is puzzling me - if you do a 3pm ceremony and just one feeding session, who do you feed? Just your guests for the ceremony or everyone when they arrive for the evening?

OP posts:
Fio2 · 23/06/2004 10:36

Becca I would guess you feed your guests at about 5pm and then do an evening buffet at the do say around 9pm ish

Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 10:42

So your still feeding twice then? Where is the cost saving!?

OP posts:
Fio2 · 23/06/2004 10:44

I dont know Becca I was guessing I didnt have a reception LOL

Fio2 · 23/06/2004 10:44

maybe its just a hotbuffet at 6pmish (guess again?!)

Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 10:50

So the evening guests would have to be there mega early?!

I wonder if you just give the day guest some little nibbles (pork scratching, nuts etc ) with some champagne then everyone eats together later?

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 23/06/2004 10:52

I would start around 6ish, give everyone some canapes to soak up the wine, then have a buffet at say 7.30

soapbox · 23/06/2004 10:56

BR - WHy don't you do the hot buffet just for the full event people and just do a quick snack and nibbles for the evening people. That way you are saving by only paying full hot buffet costs for the smaller no of people attending the whole thing rather than for everyone.

We were at a wedding at the weekend - in a marqeee - where the evening food was bacon butties and wedding cake. They served it with hot chocolate which as by then it was getting a bit nippy was welcomed by most. The bacon butties went down really really well with everyone! And they would be very cheap to do.

Table decorations were assorted jam jars with handpicked wild flowers which were very attractive.

Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 10:56

Start the whole kit and kaboodle at 6?

I was thinking 4pm ceremony
Champagne and canapes/small nibbles 5pm
Chat, photos, drink until about 6pm
Ermmmm evening do starting at 7pm

When we do speeches/throwing bouquet etc I want to have all the bits to my wedding just without the huge expense

Also I have a rather complicated family - divorced parents, evil stepmonster who I wouldnt want too close to my Mum or one of my sisters (who isnt speaking to her) - SOOOO think its probably best we dont have formal "Top Table" set up anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 10:57

Oooooo soap box that sounds like a good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 10:58

Ooooo I get so excited talking about weddings - found some lovely dresses with CD on messenger yesterday.

Just received teh wedding pack from this place - what do you think?

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 23/06/2004 11:03

why don't they show pictures of the room that you eat in? Makes me suspicious that it may be horrible (from the tiny pic they do show)

soapbox · 23/06/2004 11:04

BR - looks nice but the menus are expensive for what they are I think and will soon add up.

I think you would be better to find a place which lets you use your own caterers that way you will save on food costs.

Also at hotels the alcohol is so overpriced compared to getting it from france which you can do if you just hire a hall and do it yourself.

I've found it fairly easy to get staff - £6.50 an hour in London for waiting staff which is not bad at all. Most caterers will do an all in price anyway.

Forgot to say - at another friends wedding last year she had a chocolate wedding cake which was filled with mixed berries and they served it as the dessert to the main meal which again saved on costs.

Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 11:04

Yeah good point

this is still my favourite - I dont think they show the eating room either though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 11:05

I think your right about getting caterers in but none of the really nice venues seem to encourage this - what kind of place should I look for that is likely to let us cater ourselves?

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 23/06/2004 11:06

I think that food looks a bit dear - is it the evening buffet you would be thinking of going for?

soapbox · 23/06/2004 11:08

Looks lovely but very pricey - do you know how much they ahrge per head?

bunnyrabbit · 23/06/2004 11:10

Becca,
Had my Wedding at Leez Priory but that's a bit out of the way for you!!

Suggestions:

  1. I found it was cheaper to have the bridesmaid's dresses, and waistcoats/cravates made by a nice lady a friend reccomended.

  2. We had a served buffet as 5.30. This was a lot cheaper than sitdown and made sense as we had quite a few special dietary requirements. Meant people could have what they wanted. Also did a buffet at 9.30 for evening guests but daytime guests are still full so you don't have to provide much. (At my other SILs wedding the mums did the evening buffet).

  3. Don't bother with a car. We did and it was a waste of money.

  4. We had the whole day at the priory, including the actual wedding service as they had a civil license. Saved a lot of mucking about on the day with working out who's gonna go in which car with whom, parking and guests getting lost etc!!.

  5. DH's uncle did a short video for us which was nice and tasteful and not staged at all. Spent a lot of money on expensive proffessional photos which really aren't a necessity. Wish we'd just asked friends to take piccies.

  6. You can make your own favours. My SIL did and they were lovely. There a lot of websites that sell little choccies and sugared almonds etc and all the ribbons and bags and trimmings.

  7. Then there's always a marquee. This can work out very reasonably as you organise everything yourself. Friend of BIL pitched one at the cricket ground and worked out very well as they used the toilets and facilities in the cricket club.

.....

BR

Original poster
Beccarollover · 23/06/2004 11:10

Im not sure on Eshott's prices as Im still waiting for my pack from there!

SIGH I think Im going to be disapointed and not be able to go to one of these lovely halls - I wonder where I could try that is lovely but doesnt charge through the nose simply because its a wedding!

OP posts:
soapbox · 23/06/2004 11:11

BR - if you find some cateres that you like the look of - yellow pages or the web, then talk to 3 or 4 of them and ask where they recommend to use as a venue. They will be well acqainted with which are the nicest ones!

Oh this is so exciting!!

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