Excluding the honeymoon, our wedding cost £7,500 -and that was for a posh garden party, marquee, sit down meal for 73, ceilidh band and evening buffet for 110. But it was 6 years ago.
We were fortunate in that Mum and Dad live in part of a big house which has lovely gardens, so we were able to hire a marquee and arrange our own catering.
We used the caterer from the local rugby club and he was excellent. He did us a good 3 course meal for £20/head. I can't remember the starter , duck for the main course and a brandysnap bakset with cranachan (raspberry, whisly and oatmeal cream)for the dessert.
My Mum made the creole curry (a South African recipe from HER mum) in the evening, so I'm not sure how much it cost, but the caterer just charged us £1.50/head for rice to serve with it.
I hired wine glasses myself - wine is a particular interest for dh and me, so I wanted to be in control and ensure the "right" glasses. I used who the caterer told me to go to though. He and/or the marquee company arranged the rest though - tables, chairs, linen, cutlery.
My Mum made my dress, which saved costs - but she is a good dress maker. I couldn't find the sort of dress I wanted from my bridesmaid (Monsooon that summer didn't have any of their usual heavy sil, straigh, 3/4 length simple dresses in a rich colour) so she used a dress she already had which I was happy with.
The floweres we got from the local council - their nurseries department are a good value way of getting EXCELLENT flowers. They did me a gorgeous bouquet for £70 which would have cost over a hundred from a high street florist. They also did table decorations, hanging baskets, corsgaes and buttonholes for us. That came to £528, but I was a bit extravagant with the marquee flowers! (6 hanging baskets - "globes" of flowers" - at £30 each - but it DID look good!)
But to save money, the following year when my brother got married (copying our marquee idea), Mum and Dad went to the Fruit market early the day before and made up their own arrangements.
I bought my own church candles for the table decorations (hunted for the best possible deal - didn't need to buy candles for years afterwards!).
We had a good relationship with the local Oddbins and got a good discount. We had a good Cava rather than champagne (at least, most of the guests did - we had some special bubbly out of our cellar!) )
We also had good red and white wine with the meal and beer for the evening. We paid for all the alcohol over the evening - and although it wasn't cheap, it still only came to £1500, with 73 guests during the day and 110 in the evening. Thar incldues the cost of soft ddrinks and ice - plus the beer that was left over and my South African cousin drank while we were away on honeymoon!
I printed off our own menus and orders of service. The menus I rolled up and tied with tartan tibbon to go with the colour them (purple and green), so that they also formed part of the table decorations.
I also got disposable cameras for each table.
The ceilidh band was £400.
Mum made the cake, but got someone to decorate it for her.
Other things included in that £7,500 is the hire of the marquee (£1,600), our rings (£200), the church and organist (£120), gifts for the best man and bridesdmaid, kilt hire (for the best man - dh already had a kilt), shoes and lingerie (for me ), photographer (£350), postage for the invitations (we didn't have to pay for the wedding inviations themselves, as ds knew the priniting company), electrician (Mum and dad had to pay for someone to take out "protected" power to the marquee), the cake decoration and the cost of the material for my dress.
I'd agree about the top table. I didn't have the problem that you have with divroced parents etc, but just didn't like the idea of separating ourselves (and the partners of our best man and bridesmaid) from the rest of the guests. All the tables were round, with ours in the middle. At the "Bride and Groom's table" we had the best man and his wife, and the brides maid and her husband, plus another close friend who was going to act as Master of ceremonies, with his partner. These were after all our best friends and if you can't sit with them at your wedding, when can you?!
Mum and Dad and PILs sat at another table close by and we did the table plan carefully to ensure that everyone knew somebody else and/or we thought they would like each other's company.
I've gone on a bit - but it has brought back good memories!