Swagger Inn Thread 142 - in which the holidays are over and we're back to normal perving hours

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Questions:

1. Why doesn't my office look like this?

Sun has come out - washing on line, duvet airing. 'Domestic godess' function activated.

I shall now hunt down some food... Because I only had breakfast a couple of hours ago.

Hello wenches, no lie-ins here.

I'm in holiday preparation hell, and I'm not even going. DH does his own packing, but I'm doing the ironing, printing out of documents, sorting out medical stuff etc. He has to get a week's worth of golfing and going-out-in-the-evening clothes into a cabin bag weighing no more than 10kg.

Added to that, a filling he had done last week fell out while he was eating his lunch. He phoned the emergency dentist, who happened to be our own dentist, and is currently awaiting a call from him when he gets back from Bristol. Then he dropped a yogurt all over himself and the carpet.

And it's his birthday.

RIP John Hurt.

At least bubble wrap and cotton wool don't weigh much Apricot. I'd suggest he takes a lot.

Happy birthday MrApricot

Hope laserquest isn't proving too horrendous for Madame and that MiniMadame and his friends are having a fab time.

Watched Finding Dory with DS2. I may have had a little cry.

Supposed to be changing the beds. Can't really be arsed.

Steve Backsall has been bitten by an anaconda

and for MrApricots birthday. and for apricot re. packing and yoghurt carnage!

for Madame re. birthday party (hopefully not needed)

I have done laundry, and woodchopping/stacking. MrH has also done wood chooping and has predctably done his back in. Apricot please may I raid your cotton woll and bubble-wrap stash?

Afternoon, hope madame has survived.

Happy Birthday MrApricot

I've been doing some outside chores, I didn't completely freeze, so I'm not unduly traumatised. I now need to go to the shops to get food in for dinner. I really need a personal chef.....

I could help suck stuff out of him Helen......

Personal chef for Fancy. Very personal

Well
Dh is pissing me off no end
Back 36 hours
A new record!
I've spent a couple of hours in bed (quite tired it's been a bit of a week!) and it's all turned to shit
Neither child has eaten, the tap has been done by he now seems to expect some sort of medal for doing it, dishwasher not loaded, dishes every fucking where WHY put dishes on top of the dishwasher!!!!?? WHY!!??
Ds2 has basically been left to his own devices all afternoon and ds1 has been at pils til 2.30
How dh expects ds1 to do any bloody revision or homework at weekends is beyond me twat
I'm now counting down to the next trip

Anyway....

How is everyone? Blimey apes my dh sounds like yours! Good job we are so awesome, eh? 👍

I took mum out this morning and we went for lunch - she is quite nervous now since her heart attack on Monday (understandably)

All in all quite a shit day
Hope other wenches and minimadame have had a good day ❤️

Oh! And I fancied a copy of tennant of wildfell hall
So I went to Waterstones and NOT one copy of a bronte novel

Civilisation is ending, I'm telling you!

Badders I have Tenant on Wildfell Hall on my shelf - we did it for O-levels. Ebay?

re. useless DH...

MrA says thanks for the birthday wishes. Dentist has phoned, he can see him at 9.00 in the morning. Phew! That should leave him with an hour for all the last minute panic.

LetUs you are hilarious.

Hope Madame is ok and DS has had a good afternoon.

for Badders.

We're off out for a meal with friends shortly.

I've bought it on kindle Helen 👍
I just fancied an actual 📚
Hope dh has a good time on hols and enjoy your meal apes x
I'm watching elementary Madame - JLM half naked stomach crunches
Nice
😜

the nipple twiddling might terrify him into action at least.

And at no Bronte in the bookshop! Don't suppose it was because they'd had a massive run and sold out?

Thanks Apricot. I try Enjoy your meal.

Beds are changed. Fresh pjs tonight and clean sheets. Oh yes.

Adds Wotsit sandwich to weird British stuff to try

Happy birthday MrApes

[HBF] to wenches in need!

Helped mum move some boxes today, felt good to be able to repay all the help I got.

Will get the last stuff from the old place tomorrow and leave the keys

Did anywench from JLM contingent see Graham Norton show last night? JLM seemed very nice.

Cannot belieeeeeeeeeeeeeve that you slept with the queen Waterstones didn't have any Bronte though.

I can recommend it Wicked.

for you for being so helpful to your mum. Must be exciting setting everything out in your new place. Having said that, unless we win a lottery jackpot, I'm never moving again

I was proper shocked Helen!
As I walked out through the door I was muttering under my breath and everything
I couldn't find anything to buy which also annoyed me...unless you count blu tac?
Sigh
Better get ds2s reading over with....

It still feel like mum's place, she still have stuff here that I'm going to put in the storage building (?), keeping the huge sofa and bed though It will feel more like my place once I put up MY curtains, decorations etc

You'll get there wicked

We are having a film night. This means I must stop using the computer and participate in Real Life.

Laters...

Enjoy film night Helen

You'll have lovely memories of when your mum lived there Wicked and then you'll put your stamp on the place and make your own memories. Double

DS2 is being a shouty pain in the arse. I may need more vodka.

We need a trip to IKEA wicked ❤️
I might have a bath and try and relax...I think I'm feeling the effects of a stressful week...
Enjoy dvd night
I will check out GN show later

Havent seen GN yet, Im planning to watch later letus.

KLAXON COMTESSE Is it possible to induce a migraine in a non-sufferer? Im thinking like those pregnancy suits you can get men to wear so they know how it feels to be 8 months pregnant. My "d"p sorely needs a drastic lesson in empathy...

So ds's party went fine and miraculously due to epic quantities of drugs taken I didn't get a migraine. However, when we got back, twathead and I had an epic row because apparently, the last time we went round to some friends, I "didnt make an effort." I had a blazing migraine, which he knew, and I made a MASSIVE fucking effort to just go in the first place. Fucking bastard.

bads WHICH EP NUMBER WHICH EP NUMBER??? and for your twathead dh. I sympathise.

Oh Madame!
What a fucker ... can you just smack him over the head with a blunt object (non fatally obv as you want the twatbadger to suffer!)
It's series 4 ep...er...can't remember! Oh dear you will have to watch all of series 4!
😂😜
He also did clap press ups 👀
Watching GN now...did JLM have an Issue with alcohol in the past? They seem to have made a "thing" about him not drinking anymore...