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Original poster

7 yr old boy upset on Valentines day. what would you have done?

59 replies

bouncy · 14/02/2007 14:11

My son, has been with his school girlfriend for over a year now, and for valentines day he got her a little handmade card and a little token pressie, he was all excited to give it to her this morning, and she was pleased, but then this other lad inthe class came into school with a teddy half the size of him, another bag which had chocolates and other bits in, and gave it to my sons "girlfriend" I could see that my son was desperately trying not to get upset and putting on a brave face.

It broke my heart leaving him like that, so while I was out today, I picked up a little card and a small gift and left it at home for him.

Whilst talking to my friend, she said shuldn't have bothered and to not shield him from heart-ache etc etc, I thought he was far too young for this, and that we can have a talk later about it, I just wanted to get something to cheer him up.

What would you have done?

OP posts:
scorpio1 · 14/02/2007 14:15

ahh poor your ds.

i think it was nice of you to buy him a little pressie to cheer him up.he's only 7,of course you should be 'shielding' him!

maybe explain to ds that 'girlfriend' must still like him and get him to chat with you about how he feels?

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 14/02/2007 14:21

think your friend is right tbh.

it makes me very that children are taught so young that they should be giving cards/presents on valentines day. IMO it teaches children that thos who are popular get presents, and those who don't, don't. wrong wrong wrong IMO and I think schools/parents should actively discourage it, not be buying into this over commercialized trash.

Pinotmum · 14/02/2007 14:22

Sorry but I really wouldn't be acknowledging girlfriend/boyfriend at this age. I would be discouraging it - love and heart ache at 7 yo is far too soon imo.

Caligula · 14/02/2007 14:25

I think it sounds mad.

A girlfriend for one year at the age of 7?

Eh?

FluffyMummy123 · 14/02/2007 14:26

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 14/02/2007 14:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster
bouncy · 14/02/2007 14:30

my son made a handmade card and got her some love hearts.

I agree that lots of the kids/parents went ott, dont think it hurts to give a litle gesture to his girlfriend that he goes round for tea etc etc

Seems half the boys bought in pressies and the other half hate girls.

OP posts:
Original poster
bouncy · 14/02/2007 14:33

Sorry what's weird?

am I the only one who's child has a girlfriend/boyfriend at that age? Seems that quite a few people in the class have so called girlfriend and boyfriends and have done since they started school.

I good friends with his girlfriends mum and they spend a lot of time together outside of school.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 14/02/2007 14:34

When did Valentine's Day become relevant to primary school children?

Pinotmum · 14/02/2007 14:34

I don't mind my children having friends of the opposite sex but to refer to them as romatically linked is a bit weird to me. I wouldn't want my dd who is 6 yo wasting her time on this. She does like one boy who makes her laugh but he's not her boyfriend, he's her friend and she's certainly not sending him any cards or chocolates.

edam · 14/02/2007 14:37

Nice that you have planned to cheer him up in case he's upset. But agree the idea of Valentine's cards and boyfriends/girlfriends at age 7 is a bit much. A best friend who happens to be a girl, yes but 'girlfriend'?

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 14/02/2007 14:42

yes "girl" friends and "boy" friends as in friends of the opposite sex, but certainly not girlfriends and boyfriends of romantic inclination.

yes it's madness IMO. he maybe has a friend who is a girl and who he's been friends with, but I would certainly not be encouraging this notion of girlfriends and boyfriends at age 7.

ArcticRoll · 14/02/2007 14:43

I thought you were going to say that your son was twelve or thirteen...
I think it's a bit weird for seven year olds to talk in terms of boy/girlfriends tbh.

ArcticRoll · 14/02/2007 14:45

Oops should have read op more carefully

FluffyMummy123 · 14/02/2007 14:45

Message withdrawn

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 14/02/2007 14:47

agree with cod.

is it any wonder kids start having sex so young if we're pairing them off at age 7.

Original poster
bouncy · 14/02/2007 14:55

Who said anything about us pairing him off, they have been friends and call themselves that, at that age its totally innocent.

They have been together is a phrase I used, as I was aware of there friendship when she bought him a xmas pressie the previous xmas.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 14/02/2007 14:58

he's 7 .. he has a girlfriend? .. or he has a friend who happens to be a girl

I think this focus on valentines and 'girlfriend' when a child is 7 is inappropriate and should be discouraged

Twiglett · 14/02/2007 14:58

he's 7 .. he has a girlfriend? .. or he has a friend who happens to be a girl

I think this focus on valentines and 'girlfriend' when a child is 7 is inappropriate and should be discouraged

Twiglett · 14/02/2007 14:59

I am getting so incensed with the whole valentines bollocks and young children

valentines is a hallmark festival but even then it is for grown-ups at least it is for those who are past puberty

we need to stamp it out in primary schools - and stamp it out hard

Neroli · 14/02/2007 15:01

I will be freaking if my DD (8) comes home with cards & presents.I personally would be discouraging this whole thing a lot.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 14/02/2007 15:05

by the terms you are using you are pairing them off.

"they have been together"
"my son's girlfriend"

you are applying an exclusivity to their friendship that belongs in monogomous relationships, once they reach an appropriate age. she is not "your son's" girlfriend, she is a female friend of your son, and she most likely also has lots of other friends who are boys. he does not have an exclusive right to her friendship at this age.

discourage, discourage, discourage.

LIZS · 14/02/2007 15:10

My 5yr old had a "truelove" until last week when he called her a baby ! She got a homemade valentine today from another boy in her class but was mortified the other one hadn't sent one (not that she was sending him one anyway!). She's over it now though tbh I think you should just make light of it all and remind him to be friends with a larger group.

wotzsaname · 14/02/2007 15:19

Love and heart ache at 7 is young. But some children do have these feelings (short lived mostly). I agree they shouldnt be encouraged. But dont be so hard on bouncy.

I expect the mother of the girl should explain a thing or to her dd also.

Children see the balloons and teddies and all the supermarket marketing, im sure most dont understand the adult version of events. It will all be forgotton by the next food shop and we'll have Easter Egss shoved at us from every direction and shopping isle.

bea · 14/02/2007 17:13

... sorry ! same as cod and twiglett here... should be ignored and discouraged... children are encouraged to be old before their time enough, never mind bringing valentine's day into it!!!!... wot next? i shudder to think!

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