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ITALIAN mums out there - franca etc

846 replies

eastend · 11/02/2007 22:10

DS is sick, what would a good Italian mum cook for him? First time he is properly sick, I need to cook him something, even if he might not eat it...

OP posts:
Rosa5 · 14/05/2007 07:42

Pippi - mi dispiace tanto . I lost my FIL a few weeks I started a new hectic job 2 years ago I was given 2 days off and it was not enough as found that DH wanted to talk at odd times it was not a real shock as the death was expected but I found it was up to him to talk as and when he felt like it. Even now I don't think he has really accepted it he goes to the grave about once a month.
Glad you had a good time in Italy hope the weather was good

PippiLangstrump · 14/05/2007 21:25

I know Rosa, I went to work today and I thought I was fine with it (kind of) as I normally am when around DH (I'd feel guilty to break down knowing that my pain is nothing compared to his) but I burst into tears a few times there and with the childminder.

He seems to be wanting to talk a bit more and he makes jokes about it too, which could be a good sign.

We have the funeral next week and I think it will be very hard for all of us. I really liked him and made me feel so welcomed and really part of the family eventhough DH and I were expecting DD 6 weeks from first date ...

PippiLangstrump · 14/05/2007 21:28

anyway about Elena Ferrante my mum gave me two books and one was quite good although she said the second is much better. is all about a woman's relationship with her children especially daughters. but I'll tell you more when I finish it.
I am also reading a very good, albeit sad, book but an perugino actor. it is quite crude but true. It's called "tuttalpiu' muoio" di Filippo Timi.

I didn't get round to buy any you told me but will do when I go on hoilday... reading by the sea... bliss!

Skribble · 14/05/2007 22:14

A sideways bump I am looking for more help.

franca70 · 15/05/2007 11:35

How's it going today pippi?

PippiLangstrump · 15/05/2007 20:00

ciao franca. not bad. DH seems a bit better although I know it wil come and go. Now is able to make jokes and yesterday he claimed I could not pretend any help from him for a decade because he is fatherless [bless emoticon]

I need your help ... do you know a good poem or piece of literature that could be read during my FIL's funeral? nothing cheesy

I have got some from Raymond Carver but want to give some choice to DH and SIL.

I'll post somewhere else too...

franca70 · 15/05/2007 21:48

Ciao Pippi, glad you husband is starting to open up a bit. My grandmother passed away last year (she was 90) and my dad still misses her so much.
I'll have to think about the poem, there's nothing that spring immediately to mind...

Rosa5 · 16/05/2007 08:19

Ciao Pippi , I think the worst bit is the build up top the funeral but here they do it so quick .
I have a poem it is called Where there is Love . I am not sure if it might be a bit too cheesy though. If you e mail me on [email protected] then I can scan it in and e mail as it is a bit too long for me to type right now.
I like the one that is a bit of a classic about you not being able to see me but I am in the wind, the stars etc

franca70 · 17/05/2007 18:05

Just checking how are you all. The sky is clear and the sun is shining. I wonder how long it'll last.
Mediterraneo, are you still around?

mediterraneo · 17/05/2007 18:44

Yes, hello, i am here. Pippi sorry about your fil. In my experience with bereavements it is important for the person to grieve, not to bottle things up, to cry and vent, and let everything out. There are so many different emotions to struggle with, sadness, guilt, anger, shock, etc. I always think men are more likely to bottle up.
I am fine here in the east end, pity about the rainy weather. Is it going to rain the whole of May? Was getting used to going round in sun cream and flip flops. Does anybody have any interesting Italian news? Can't be bothered logging onto La Republica newspaper...

franca70 · 17/05/2007 22:50

ciao Med, it's good to hear from you .
Well the weather was horrible this morning in Exeter, but it cleared up in the early afternoon and this evening was lovely and warm, clear blue sky etc.
This evening I went along for my first PTA ever at ds'school. It was great fun and the otehr mothers were lovely.
I just had a brief look at la repubblica website this morning, but can't remember anything di rilievo, apart from some gruesome cronaca nera news.
Pippi how are things? Have you found the right poem?

Rosa5 · 18/05/2007 09:08

News is all Prodis first year in governo..He says that he is going to help families this year....Ok so now we wait and see !
Sun is back here now its a bit fresh but nice.

franca70 · 18/05/2007 09:22

They should start putting back money in shools for a start, that would be a great help for families...

franca70 · 18/05/2007 09:28

sorry, got interrupted by dh, he is going to london today. My mum tells me it's rained in Milan which is good.
I'm coming down with a cold, therefore in a lousy mood. !

Rosa5 · 18/05/2007 09:37

I have passed the sore throat bit and am on the thick headed snotty nose bit at the moment.
Am a bit upset . Grandparents were coming next week but grandma has a hernia problem so its a no go .Was really looking forward to it they have not seen dd since January.

MOney into schools agree 100% the state of some of them is terrible.

franca70 · 18/05/2007 09:45

oh no rosa, you must be so disappointed!

PippiLangstrump · 18/05/2007 11:04

franca what are you doing in exeter? you should be on your way to london as well!!!

It has started as a horrible day here but now it's sunny and lovely, thanks god!

It seems we might be moving at the end of may, or loose the house all together. all or nothing really, but we don't care much either way! there are more important things in life and we'll find somewhere better. we are very ZEN-like recently .

schools in italy... did not know they were a mess as well...

PippiLangstrump · 18/05/2007 11:07

med ciao, yes I think he is bottling it up. I have not seeing him cry yet. he might have done it when on his own not too sure. It might come at the funeral.

ah this is the poem I chose:

Heraclitus

They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead;
They brought me bitter news to hear and bitter tears to shed;
I wept, as I remembered, how often you and I
Had tired the sun with talking, and sent him down the sky.

And now that thou art lying, my dear old Carian guest,
A handful of grey ashes, long, long ago at rest,
Still are thy pleasant voices, thy nightingales, awake;
For Death, he taketh all away, but them he cannot take.

-- William Johnson Cory

Rosa5 · 18/05/2007 16:10

Pippi thats a lovely poem . My dh actually held up at the funeral but he saw is father laid out at the hospital ( how they do it here)and that hit him hard. He did not talk much on the day of the funeral but when it came to sorting out his fathers posessions more emotion came out. He goes regularly to the cemetery.
Med here they are disenfecting the schools for toppi and cockroaches. A boy died the other day age 15 after smoking a spilino in the playground !

franca70 · 18/05/2007 16:12

I like this pippi!
Well, I'm not sure I cn make it to london before the summer holiday, but I'm planning to go for a weekend on my own. Shall we say september?
Yes, apparently schools are in a mess in Italy as well. which is a shame, as I said a thousand times, I had a fantastic education, without ever spending a penny for it.

franca70 · 18/05/2007 16:13

!

PippiLangstrump · 18/05/2007 19:44

franca september is fine! anytime for me really. I am here, always awailable for some me time, maybe some cultured outing (theatre would be bliss!) a nibble to eat and few drinks to finish it off in style.

Rosa it may be like you say, he might be fine that day because of all the other people present and DD and later collapse for a small thing found in FIL's house.
Tomorrow we are going to the morgue (is that the name in english) because I want to see him to say my goodbye. I don't know how I will react but I feel I need to do this.

re: schools... yes I seem to have had a similar experience as your franca and therefore I assume that it is still the same everywhere and after all these years - the sindrome of the emigrant: looking at one's country of origin as a perfect, idillic place and being stuck in time (example of this: poor DD is growing up with all the cartoon I used to watch - we have no ide what italian kids watch these days, probably the same ones as here - you girls should keep me updated for the sake of my little girl!)

mediterraneo · 18/05/2007 19:47

Bellissima poesia!

PippiLangstrump · 18/05/2007 20:00

oh thanks Med.

I spent an evening in the biggest waterstone and although there are many beautiful ones this one just stayed with me.

BTW I want to share this other poems with you. It was the 'bomboniera' for our wedding and I think it so beautiful and true without being cheesy one bit. tell me what do you think pls.

now... how to do the link... Together,Apart
WOW! I am a genius!!

franca70 · 18/05/2007 20:05

I've got the same sindrome dell'emigrante, however, I really think Italian state schools need an injection of money, motivation/dignity to the teachers, common values that could be shared by everybody, more commitment from the parents, etc etc. Not to mention the fact that many people who decided to teach are still precari...
Having say that, I've got now friends whose children have started primary (in Milano) and they are all very happy.
Yes, sorting your FIL's things will certainly be very emotional for your husband, keep him talking as much as you can.
The London programme sounds ideal, I wonder if we can also squeeze in a visit to Liberty's and designer's guild?