My dog is making my life a misery. I think I should get the vet to put him to sleep : (

[dogtired]

He is 8, dp and I have had him since a puppy. I now have a one year old with quadraplegic cerebral palsy. My life is very stressful. My dog, a labradar, is great in every way apart from he regularly goes for other dogs. I cannot take him on lead walks around the neighbourhood, or in fact anywhere on the lead as this exacerbates his agression. I have to haul him off to a huge common where he can go off lead and avoid other dogs. He does not stalk dogs, but will attack if they get too close, also if he's on a lead will go ballistic if he sees another dog.

I have done EVERYTHING to stop this behaviour. I even became a dog walker for a couple of years to try to socialise him. He actually loves dogs he knows, and he loved coming dog walking with me once he knew the other dogs. But the behaviour with strange dogs never stopped. I did everything two "emminent" dog psychologists told me to - but no joy. His problem is fear aggression - he is scared of dogs he doesn't know so attacks defensively. He has never hurt another dog, but it sounds awful, frightens everyone who's around, is intensley embarrassing and has pulled my son over in pushchair a couple of times. I dread taking him out and I cannot hold on to him if he kicks off on the lead.

I have a lot of experience of dogs and I know this problem is genetic, there is nothing anyone can do about it. He was from a rescue home as part of a litter from a Welsh puppy farm.

I'm fed up, I can't take him anywhere, when I do, I'm a bag of nerves. It's become a real problem and is restricting my life more than it already is (which is a lot if you have a child with sn).

He's an absolutely lovely dog otherwise, never barks, is beautiful and loves people (as long as they're not shouty bouncy toddlers who scare him).

I'm on the verge of asking the vet to come and put him to sleep. I feel absolutely awful. Guilty. A failure.

Just read my last post again, and it sounds like I'm making a fuss over nothing. I probably have described my dog at his worst in this thread. I'm a different person now I have the stress of a child with cp, all my energy and strength is elsewhere - keeping me sane probably and my dog's "ways" are affecting me far more than they ever did. Boils down to stress I suppose - a person can only shoulder so much.

I don't have a dog because of the commitment they are (demanding cat is hard enough) but having a dog with the issues it has is very much extra hard work and a constant worry when you take him out. I can understand why rehoming him is the solution, I think he could be rehomed so please don't give up - have you tried the lab kennel club or anything. I could also see him happy living in the country (easy access to quiet order spaces) with a sensible owner who can cope with be aware of his issues.

Chin up you'll get one for him - if you can write details of the exact issues I can ask my friend's aunt who are arable farmers so may know someone in such a situation that they could take him on?

dogtired

I can understand that you feel you can't cope with him anymore, but please try not to have him put down.

Here is the uk pet rescue website, which has advice and a forum. You may be able to get help or even find a new home for him on here.

It seems so mean to just snuff out a life which has been such a friend to you for 8 years, because he has a behavioural disorder. You wouldn't do it to a human friend who had behaviour problems would you?

There IS a solution to this, other than having him destroyed. PLEASE work to find it.

Good luck to you all

please dont feel bad

he sounds like a nightmaer

you have done well to struggle with it this long

poor you

Thanks so much everyone for your support and advice, I really needed to talk to people there. You helped me decide to persevere looking for an alternative to the VET and as a result found a great doggy forum which gave me hope for him - they didn't think he sounded like he'd be hard to rehome at all!! Anyway, I have someone from a Lab rescue place coming around to assess him soon. I'll post again when I know what's happening. Keep your fingers crossed for him!

Thanks again

(is that WSPA banner there for my benefit? lol)

am so glad you've got some more leads (no pun intended) in trying to home him somewhere he'll be happy. Am looking forward to a positive update!

I spotted a Lab rescue place advertised in my vets tonight DT. I took the details and I'll ring them when I get chance.

Oh, I missed that - someone is coming round. That's excellent news DT

What great news. Hope it all goes well.

Dogtired- I too have a dog like yours, I have two small children and I found It very hard to walk him and push a push chair and deal with another small child.
Our dog is a welsh collie and we have had him since he was a puppy, he started off being fine with people and then one day he nipped my brother in law as he was leaving and we kind of kept him away from people he wasnt already familiar with. This made things worse as he gradually got worse with strangers. He is actually the most soppy dog ever with us and people he knows but any one else he bites/nipps to warn them off.
I have got to the stage on loads of occasions where i want rid of him but have always changed my mind. We tried dog training when he was younger he is 9 now and they said it was fear aggression.
Unlike you my mum and dad live on a farm and at any time would have him live there but we love him dearly and the kids can do anything with him he is great, just need to be very careful with who he can meet! Especially when dcs have friends round!!!
I Know lots of people will say we shouldnt have him knowing what he is like but he only feels the need to protect us and the house I find else where he is ok.
I dont know if this is of interest to you just thought i would let you know your not on your own!!!
Also we found a haltie very good it stops them pulling when on the lead, have you tried this?

Good luck with whatever you decide.xx

Can imagine what you must be going through and wish you every success.Please let us know how you get on..

Hi there, we had a crazy border collie with problems stemming from being working stock and taken away from his mother at around 4 weeks. He would bite people randomly and was completely unpredictable. When he wasn't being a complete nightmare he was one of the loveliest dogs you could meet. But you never knew when he would go off on one. Tried everything to no avail.

He was on the verge of being put down as he had bitten a kid so would not get rehomed by a shelter and was considered a dangerous dog according to the DG Act. Because of his breed and nature he would have gone mad if he had been in a shelter for more than a couple of weeks so that wasn't an option either. Ended up going to friend who had known him since day 1 but due to circumstances and his behaviour getting worse despite everything ended up on the verge of being put down again.

Anyway friends of the friend who had him contacted the local paper who ran a full page article about him and how sad it was. 48 people came forward offering to have him so we were able to place him with an experienced person who was fully informed of his issues. He now lives with a couple who are home full time and with an older female collie and for the first time ever is acting like a normal well balanced dog. Sorry, bit long winded! Basically what I am suggesting is contact your local paper as they love sad stories and reach a wider range of people than you could. Wish we had thought of it earlier as it would have saved the dog and us a lot of stress. Good luck.

Winestein, hold on to those details for me, you never know...

Hi loriepie, sympathies. I found my self making more and more excuses and allowances for my dog until I found myself walking around the most remote common/woodland I could find walking miles out of my way lest we should encounter other dogs - he hasn't changed, I have. I could deal confidently with him before I had my son, but I've been knocked for six and I'm a wuss these days. And wusses aren't compatible with my dog. Haltie type things don't really address the problem, he doesn't actually pull on the lead. Unless he encounters another dog on a lead then a Haltie doesn't register.

Will defo post when I have news x

dogtired - really feel for you.

You're right that it would be stressful for your dog to be rehomed. He is 8 after all, and if your xhild didn't have problems then you would be in an entirely different situation to cope with your dog.
Please don't feel guilty - it's not your fault.
If I were you then I'd ask your vet if he/she knows anyone who could offer the dog a good home. I wouldn't send him off to a rescue centre at his age.

Dogtired, I hope that the assesment from the Lab Rescue goes well and he is a good candidate to be rehomed but if he isn't...

I'm not going to say "don't feel bad about it" because you will anyway, after all you have put so much time and effort (and I'm sure, money) to make things easier for him and you. But at the end of the day, you have enough in your plate, you don't need a dog making your life a misery or making you miss valuable time with your child, time that will never come back.

I think that you are a very responsible owner, because it would be sooo easy just to let him go to someone who loving the looks of your dog, may think could solve the aggresiveness problem in a jiffy because they may have never been exposed to such a persistent problem or are unaware of all what you have done to correct what it seems as an impossible to correct trait.

You know the dog is not safe, he has not fully attacked another dog but accidents happen. Just writing this I have reminded something... I once saw a child about to be runover by a car because the GS he was walking pulled him into a main road, mum was holding a baby and I saw her hesitate for a moment whether she should hand the baby to a stranger in order to be able to get her child out of danger, or risking the 3 of them being runned over just because the stupid dog decided to run after some pigeons. I don't imagine a woman handing such a strong dog to a boy if she had knew the dog was going to do that. The point of all this is, you know what will happen, new owner may only imagine it and may gauge the dangers wrong.

So, in a nutshell, if the Lab rescue deemed him un rehomable... guess vet is the only realistic option. You can not keep wasting your time and energy with a dog when you need that time so much for your child. Be kind to yourself, your welfare and that of your family is far more important than that of a dog.

Hi RBH, missed your post earlier. When i worked in a rehoming centre (years ago) the majority of our dogs were collies or xcollies. Very intelligent creatures that need so much mental and physical stimulation - really dogs for totally committed doggy types, otherwise they can go mad, particularly ones bred for work like yours was. There's not many people would go to the press to get a dog rehomed - what a brilliant idea, I'm so pleased he found a good home - what a lucky dog! We do have a (local) newsworthy sob story I suppose, but I've still not fully come to terms with ds's problems and couldn't bare to have it in the papers at this point in time, although I'm sure it would generate some real interest..

fortyplus, the ladies that got back to me re rehoming him don't have centres, the dogs are matched up and rehomed from where they are. I couldn't send him to a home, it wouldn't do him any good anyway, he'd be very depressed and become too troublesome to rehome for sure.

Chandra, thanks for taking the time to read my posts. you have made valid points - ones which worry me - like him pullijng the pushchair over for instance. However, I'm remaining hopeful for now because even though I've been entirely honest with the rescue people, a couple of them still seem to think he's rehomeable.

That's great news Dogtired! Did they said about any posssible owners? timescale? etc.?

dogtired - hope it works out for him. But if not, please try not to feel guilty - it seems that you've done all that you can under the circumstances.

Hi Dogtired, I really hopes it works out for you. I reckon if you go to the paper you wouldn't have to say anything except you have a young child and focus mainly on what a lovely dog he is and what the psychologists have said. I would also try to make the story about the pyschological damage caused by puppy farms as that is often in the news these days.

I have my fingers crossed for you and it is so obvious that you want to do what is best for the dog but you also have to do what is best for the whole family too. It is such a horrible situation to be in. Best of luck and will be thinking of you.

i have read this thread and to be honest i am .
your dog deserves a chance with people who have time to work with him and believe me his problem is solvable, it is a matter of retraining him to what is acceptable.
i know this becasue i am in similar circumstances, i have two adorable 6.5 year old boxers. one is what my behaviourist describes as a 'yob'. if he gets near any large male dog he just grabs them by the throat and shakes them. he does not have a sniff and hello, just jumps to the defence. my confidence was knocked as he was off the lead and attacked a patrol dog (german shepherd). i am also due ot have my baby in 3.5 weeks. i would not consider putting my dog down. it is partly my fault as the pair of them are embarrassing barking at every dog they see so i tended to avoid other dogs and also dogs can sense anxiety which makes them anxious. i have been told it can be solved as they are not dangerous, the behaviourist described them as 'soppy'. the one dog just needs to learn that it is unnacceptable behaviour so i am retraining him at the moment. well i do not want to paint a picture that i have dangerous dogs because they are not.

I understand how hard it is dogtired.
We had our healthy 6yr old staffy bitch put down 2 days ago due to aggression towards other animals. She would go for any animal, and despite being muzzled and always on a lead she still managed to bolt out of the house to attack an innocent dog.
She won't ever do it again.
Everyone who had ever known her has said what a lovely dog she was and she really was very gentle and soft with humans.
We miss her dreadfully and I keep imagining I can hear her collar tinkling like it always did whenever there was food around or anyone came in.
I hope it all works out for you.
Take care.

Sorry to hear that, gooseegg.
Never an easy decision to make, butIMHO you did the responsible thing.
{{{hugs}}}

Sorry if I've missed where you've said where you are, but if you're in Kent please e-mail me at [email protected] I may be able to help.

could you let me know if you have e-mailed me on this thread because I don't check that address very often. Thanks!