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Original poster

Would you send this to another mner?

100 replies

SendOrNot · 27/01/2007 23:07

Dear xxxxx

I'm still waiting for a cheque from you to cover the p&p on the xxxx I sent in good faith before Christmas. I know ?x isn't much money and tbh, I'm sure I can afford to live without it, but I don't like the thought that another Mum might deliberately put me out of pocket. If you truly can't afford it, then please eamil me and let me know. I know the other mner who was interested would not have let me down and I assumed it would have been the same from yourself as you are a regular poster and if I remember correctly, I've sent you clothes for your dc before.

Please restore my faith in you by either sending the cheque or PO, or being honest and letting me know if you can't. I feel sad about this tbh and find it hard to believe that two cheques have got lost in the post. Please don't take this the wrong way - I don't wish to accuse you of anything, but I've had no cheque, no explaination and no reply to my last email.............I'll leave it up to you and if I don't hear from you, well, I can only draw my own conclusion from that and I won't worry any more about it. If you've simply forgotten about it, then please accept my apologies and I'll expect a cheque in the post soon.

Regards

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 28/01/2007 09:23

i'm paranoid now too! i bought some grobags from MN seller by cheque.

must check my bank account and see if the cheque was cashed now!!

Paddlechick666 · 28/01/2007 09:26

phew! not me!!! chq cashed!

alibubbles · 28/01/2007 12:18

I sent some nursery rhyme cd's to someone on here before I got the payment, and put a few extra in too, one was a new boxed set worth 12.99. No payment, no thank you either!

tigermoth · 28/01/2007 12:43

I am sad to hear of these stories, alibubbles, teecee, freckle, miaou - that's a lot of goodwill being taken for granted.

LIZS · 28/01/2007 13:06

Wow this is sad I always feel a bit cynical and guilty opting out, but these are regular MNetters whose goodwill is being taken advantage of and it does tarnish the whole sense of trust. Bet you aren't the only ones either

I'd try one last time Sendornot and think your wording is probably more generous than mine would have been in the circumstances .

Freckle · 28/01/2007 13:23

The sad thing is, in my case, a simple thank you would suffice. How hard is that to type?

As I said, I didn't identify myself when sending, so the only way I would know that the present was appreciated (or not!) is for the poster to add to the thank you thread that was running for a few weeks. They post regularly so why they can't bring themselves to just say a simple thanks, I can't understand.

Flamesparrow · 28/01/2007 14:36

Argh - panicking that I didn't thank someone or I have forgotten to send postage now!!!

If it is me then please send the email!!

FFF - Yup, I remember!!!

blossomhill · 28/01/2007 14:41

If someone sent me something I would try if I could to send a personal thank you card.
Poor you TC, that's so out of order.

Teeceesnonpayer · 28/01/2007 16:42

I read this earlier and was going to keep it off board, but the thread has moved on a bit.

I was horrified to read this this morning from TeeCee- realised it was me straight away, and did email her, although she won't have got it yet (only have her work address).

I didn't pay because I genuinely thought it was a gift. Partly because of the way the conversation went at the time, partly because I hadn't realised the cost (thought the item cost a couple of quid and that she'd posted from work for free- just checked this morning and it was £4.75 and obviously there was postage on top), but mainly because (and this is why I've name changed) I've sent various mumsnetters similar bits and pieces over the years, and it's never occurred to me that anyone would pay me for any of these things. They were just little gifts. I haven't ever expected or receievd any money for those things, and I just saw this as a similar thing. I did say thank you in this case, but am horrified that I misjudged so badly.

I rang my friend (a non-mnetter) to ask her her view and she said that she thinks its just a problem with forums where you don't really know the person concerned so you can easily be working with different expectations. She said that she had recieved similar stuff from people before (on an email list) and it hadn't occured to her that they might want paying, so persumably its just a different way of doing thigs.

Anyway TeeCee will be paid and I hope to be able to send something to say sorry.

hunkeydorey · 28/01/2007 17:23

Glad that's all sorted. It does sound like a misunderstanding ot me.

Freckle - it wasn't me was it? I thanked everyone who I could work out individually and then also did some general thank you's. I hope to god I didn't miss anyone out.

I offered some stuff free for postage on here once. Someone came on and said they were having a baby and they needed stuff and someone else asked me to send it to her. They did offer to pay postage but I didn't feel like I could accept, so I paid nearly £9.00 postage myself. The person I sent to never even acknowledged that they'd had a big box of baby clothes turn up, which totally pi$$ed me off, as I have no money myself. Never again!

flutterbee · 28/01/2007 17:37

I see TeeCee has been outed as the OP, hope she doesn't mind (I personally would be really pissed off if I had gone to the trouble to conceal my ID and someone outed me like that).

I got 2 big parcels from the Christmas appeal and said thank-you for both of them (both sent from soapbox) can't imagine why someone wouldn't say thank-you, very rude imo. You have however reminded me that I must e-mail the pic of DS playing with his present from the GLTC to them, just to show them that their present went to a good home.

pageturner · 28/01/2007 17:39

flutterbee, I don't think Teecee is the OP - she just posted a smilimar experience halfway through the thread.

flutterbee · 28/01/2007 17:40

OH NO I AM SOOOOOOOOOO please forgive me I see that teeceesnonpayer was actually refering to teecees post how bloody stupid of me. I shall climb back on my high horse now and try to read threads properly

SORRY!!!!

hunkeydorey · 28/01/2007 17:42

So is TC'snonpayer just replying to TC, or is TC the OP as well?

DelGirl · 28/01/2007 17:53

I know it'snoe of my business but i'm nosy, so i'm going to ask anyway . Am I being dim, I don't get why you would buy something for someone and then be paid for it unless you were selling something Were they not able to get it themselves? ahh, pennies dropped, was it that they didn't have one in their local shop perhaps?

Original poster
SendOrNot · 28/01/2007 18:04

TeeCee isn't the OP flutterbee.

Please don't worry any of you - it's not any of you (and I know/have met some of you personally), but please don't out me if you guess.

I do agree, it's a bit sad, particularly as it's happened to other mners too but I won't try again as I don't think it's worth it either in payment or moral terms. It won't really cloud my judgement in the long term - just make me a little more wary of posters who appear mostly (but not always) in the buy/sell threads.

OP posts:
bubblerock · 28/01/2007 18:13

I thought some people on the christmas appeal remained anonymous, I didn't participate as giver or receiver so I'm not sure but maybe the receiver didn't put anything on the 'thank you' thread as they didn't want people to know. IYSWIM

Freckle · 28/01/2007 19:06

Hunkydory, no it wasn't you.

Even if a receiver didn't want to "out" themselves on the board, they could have responded to emails asking about the gift. Or sent an email to Soapy in similar vein. Which they haven't.

Dior · 28/01/2007 19:20

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 29/01/2007 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TeeCee · 29/01/2007 11:51

Ohhhh just catching up on this. First off I'm not the OP and secondly to the person who has posted saying they think my non-payer is them, it may not be you. The person I did this favour for was someone I didn't know that well and it was most definatley a favour and something I presumed they would offer me the money for, it couldn't have been interpretuted as a gift so it may not be you! I've sent several people things for which I never considered being given the money for and you may well be one of those people. Anyway I'll see when I get the email who you are but I don't think you're the person I was thinking of as it was ages ago now.

munz · 29/01/2007 12:06

don't think it's me - I normally like to pay via paypal. (hope it's not anyhow - if it is i've forgotten please say here ) anyhow, i've also sent things FFP - some of which haven't recioeved the money for others I have - the way I seeit with that is I normally post first and get money after - the money's gone then and spent iycwim, so I don't bother - althou I don't send to that person again.

hope whomever it is sees thing and you receive your money. (perhaps they are waiting till payday?)

Original poster
SendOrNot · 29/01/2007 14:10

Not you at all Munz.

I'd like to think it's been a misunderstanding Fio, but the poster assured me she was sending a cheque and has said she already sent one - neither of which have arrived.

OP posts:
Blu · 29/01/2007 14:24

I was going to say that TeeCee has often sent out little things as gifts - she sent me something very much appreciated by DS- so don't assume it's you, TeeCeesnon-payer!

divamumdiva · 29/01/2007 14:45

That is sad
Im often sell/buy on mn. probably known by this. Last year i advertised some clothes free One lady contacted me, so posted everything out. Also i sent her email saying things are posted although cost me money, and hoped she like clothes. Never heard, saw her posts on different FFP threads all the time.
It just nice to respect people and say thank you.