No, I'm not talking about all the wine I imbibed at the meet-up...
I'm talking about the consequences of putting your sweetly sleeping child into bed fully clothed so as not to wake him. And how profoundly disasterous those consequences can be if his Nana has just bought him a new belt, of which he is inordinately proud and has insisted on wearing all day and is therefore wearing in bed...
6am this morning- said small boy climbs onto our bed and stands next to my pillow bouncing up and down, saying "Mummy, Mummy, I need a wee!" From slumberous depths I mutter something about fetching a potty. "No Mummy, I've got a potty. But I can't undo my belt! Oh dear, too late- it's started."
That was all I heard before my face and hair were deluged with warm piss.