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Original poster

Can I make a bit of a plea to those of you who enjoy posting upsetting stories?

164 replies

hunkermunker · 29/11/2006 14:09

Can you please NOT put the subject of the shocking tale in the title?

Can you just put "An upsetting news story concerning children" or something similar?

Because I'm all for asking MN Towers to have a "Without In The News" button because I hate hate hate hearing about the terrible things that people do to babies and children and I don't want to see thread titles like that.

If that makes me blinkered, etc, then so be it.

Also, why do people feel the need to post links to stuff like this when it's just for people to go "oh how sad" to? I can understand if it's a policy thing, or there's a campaign that needs to be undertaken - but just for people to feel sad? Why?

OP posts:
Glitterygookwithchocsonthetree · 02/12/2006 13:29

Sorry x posted

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 13:29

yes just don't tell the whole dismal sorry upsetting salacious hysterical story in the title

ClementClarkeMoore · 02/12/2006 13:59

By Pruni on Wednesday, 29 November, 2006 8:08:51 PM
I don't mind if the stories are discussed
I do mind if I have to read details of cruelty and tragedy in thread titles
Maybe people could just tone down the titles
I think that's what Hunker's asking for?
It truly is very upsetting if you are not in a place where you can cope with it

By Pruni on Wednesday, 29 November, 2006 8:14:25 PMHey HMC

I am not being melodramatic but I once opened a story under a really innocuous thread title and it was so upsetting that 18 months on I still think of it fairly regularly and am moved to tears.

Aren't those two statements rather at odds with what Hunker is suggesting? I mean, if you'd read something grim in the thread title you wouldn't have looked any further?????

JinglePrunes · 02/12/2006 14:16

Well, in the second example I was not blaming anyone or saying they shouldn't have posted it - I was trying to illustrate that reading these stories has an effect. That one has had a lasting effect on me, unfortunately. That's not down to anybody being liberal with the gory details in the title. Thread titles do have a similar effect on others, however.
I am wiser to it now and simply do not read any threads where I suspect the stories will involve child abuse/maiming/death, whether in the title or not.
I'd simply prefer not to have to know, via the thread titles.

HunkerTheInternetPhenomenon · 02/12/2006 18:51

GDG, I don't care whether people post terribly upsetting things in the OP or the thread itself.

But in the title is a bit of a shock, that's all. I'm not telling anyone they can't post whatever they want - just not to put "toddler fucked up the arse with a pitchfork" in the thread title, is all.

MerryChristmasfromQV · 02/12/2006 18:55

oh hunker you could've warned me you were going to post thatb

whensantagotstuckupAITCHimney · 02/12/2006 19:02

actually, i do care a bit when people post these stories, regardless of the title. i care because they so often descend into an ignorant, pointless fest where women berate other women whose lives they do not lead and whose circumstances they have only the most basic, tabloid understanding thereof. so there.

zippitippitoes · 02/12/2006 19:16

actually i think people do get a perverse pleasure out of posts when they don't comment they just do title and link when it isn't evident what thewre is to add

tututu awful tut should be ........

HunkerTheInternetPhenomenon · 02/12/2006 22:01

I think I shall post "sick fuck" to the OP on threads where just a tabloidesque title and link is posted

realjolly · 02/12/2006 23:51

can anyone enlighten poor ole me...which posts are so upsetting right now...

Saturn74 · 02/12/2006 23:53

Hunker, can't you campaign for a 'sick fuck' emoticon?

HunkerTheInternetPhenomenon · 03/12/2006 00:12

RJ, just skim the "In The News" thread titles...

HC - I might just do that Although...what could it be?! [boggles]

Saturn74 · 03/12/2006 00:42
Blush
welliemum · 03/12/2006 07:39

Hear hear Hunker. At least give us the choice of whether to have horrible images stuck in our heads.

And I like this comment from Dara:

"I also think the poster should at least try to explain what is in the story, why they have posted it and what they think".

I don't read mumsnet in order to discover nasty stories. I can find them on the news websites perfectly easily, thanks.

I do read mumsnet to discuss things and maybe see something from a new angle, that I wouldn't have thought of on my own. mn generally is great for adding a different perspective, and I love that.

The "ooh, isn't this sad" posts make me cross. Apart from anything else, it's a really lazy way to communicate.

beansprout · 03/12/2006 08:25

I totally agree with Hunker. I see these and think "oh god, tabloid corner" again. On a forum that is going to have a diproportionate number of hormonal mums on it (and I count myself among them), distressing stories about children is not really that helpful and usually very upsetting.

realjolly · 03/12/2006 10:29

Hm..I looked through the threads now, and can't really see anyhting that I would find shocking in the "News" section....but then, if I would post a bit of news, I would probably also use the heading that is used in the article itself, and link to the article, for people to read....
imo that is what you are looking into the "in the news" section for, isn't it? Otherwise you wouldn't go into that...but I could be wrong! And I don't mean to be argumentative, just , well, I can't see why it is offensive....in the news section...I think in another section, where you would not expect such thing posted...then it's different!

HunkerTheInternetPhenomenon · 03/12/2006 11:31

RJ, if you use active conversations, you don't get the choice not to see the thread headers - so you get "What sort of cake should I make my DS for his 3rd birthday?" and "Help, sore nips!" then "Evil man strangles baby and leaves body out for postman" then "Whoops, the cat's eaten my Christmas puddings!"

See why that might be a shock? And when the OP of the tragic baby/postman story is just "link to story" then it makes me want to kick them to death. Sorry.

Quadrophenia · 03/12/2006 18:19

I have often had conversations with PND sufferers about distressing things in the news, when I had PTSD I often had conversations about distressing things in the news. What has depression got to do with it, this kind of thing upsets you or it doesn't, but to suggest, as a few have that it might upset the depressed on here is a little patronising to say the least.

I agree that its not nice to see these titles on activeconvos and also agree that a tact should be used when posting, however this thread has a real critical tone towards others and IMO is a typical MN bandwagon thread.

ClementClarkeMoore · 03/12/2006 18:32

Shall I have a word with Fleet Street?

zippitippitoes · 03/12/2006 18:37

I don't think it's patronising to suggest that depressed people might find the stories upsetting

Quadrophenia · 03/12/2006 18:40

I'd hate to think that when i was depressed people didn't ant to broach certain subjects with me for fear of upsetting me. Quite the opposite in fact all i wanted was for people to treat me normal and not to wrap me up in cotton wool. I guess thats the point i'm trying to make, who knows what people want depressed or not, i don't think its right to make a generalisation, other than perhaps one over people that are sensitive which encompasses all sorts of folk.

Quadrophenia · 03/12/2006 18:40

want not ant

zippitippitoes · 03/12/2006 18:43

I thought it might be an attempt at consideration or empathy maybe not correct but hey shows some thought doesn't it?

Quadrophenia · 03/12/2006 18:44

Also when I have been through really hard times sometimes distressing news stories helped me put aspects of my own life in perspective.

HunkerTheInternetPhenomenon · 03/12/2006 18:45

The thread was simply a call for a bit of sensitivity with titling threads - and later on for a why the eff do people just post the link and a sad face.