Things only a mum can do...

[motherflump]

Or a dad, or other primary caregiver, but you know what I mean.
Like - actually sleep in a tiny toddler bed with a poorly toddler in it.
Or, drink out of a cup that your child has been drinking from, even though it has bits of spit and food in it now.
Or, kiss a child who is streaming with snot and not wipe your mouth afterwards.
Or, sit in the world's most uncomfortable position for an hour, because you are enjoying the cuddle so much.

recite every single word to all the cbeebies programme theme tunes.

chat on the phone to a friedn whilst cleaning up sick/poo/urine without ever breaking a sentance

walk through the highstreet singing twinkle twinkle little star and not bat an eyelid at the bizaar faces people are pulling at you.

Chew food and give it to the baby to eat.... apparently your saliva is good for it.
Change wet sheets night after night without complaint.

pull faces to your lo in there pram with peaple walking past, just becouse you love to see them giggle.

Suck second hand lollypops.

Kiss it better

Catch vomit in your hands

breast feed

sway left to right for hours to comfort colicky baby... and then find yourself swaying even when not holding a baby

talk about poo

Eat chewed up food covered in snot that your ds has just offered you, just to see the pleasure on their face.

And accept those open mouthed snotty kisses!

Squeal "ooh look a digger", then realise you have a work colleague in the car and not small children !

give birth

Catch poo in your hands!

"walk through the highstreet singing twinkle twinkle little star and not bat an eyelid at the bizaar faces people are pulling at you." Dlad I'm not the only one who does this

These are great!
Carry a toddler with one arm and still push the baby in the buggy.
Negotiate between several screaming toddlers and restore calm - oh, no, wait, I can't do that one.

Get that bogey that is flapping in and out dds nose and not vomit but feel a sense of accomplishment

investigate sick - with fingers if necessary(same with poo)

clean marks off the sides of mouths with spit

talk on the phone whilst feeding a child, dragging another one to the table to eat and filling the dishwasher

talk about characters on cbeebies as if they are real people

catch regurgitated food

throw a nappy into a bin from 20 yards

know from the crinkling noise and DH shout of "Oh, no, I wasn't looking" precisely what DD is doing downstairs without having to look (just push all the wipes back in the packet........)

Manage to fend off one child whilst dealing with the other (dh CANNOT do this)

Ignore tantrums

Actually care about whether 'insert child's name' has done a poo today or not

Get that warm feeling every night when I tuck dd back under the covers and kiss her goodnight (can't go anywhere near ds as he is world's lightest sleeper!)

Negotiate a 4 year old boy into putting on pinkdisney princess pullups to do a wee whilst stuck in a 2 hour traffic jam on the motorway.

know instinctively which item on table dd will suddenly lunge for and move it just in time