Things only a mum can do...

[motherflump]

Or a dad, or other primary caregiver, but you know what I mean.
Like - actually sleep in a tiny toddler bed with a poorly toddler in it.
Or, drink out of a cup that your child has been drinking from, even though it has bits of spit and food in it now.
Or, kiss a child who is streaming with snot and not wipe your mouth afterwards.
Or, sit in the world's most uncomfortable position for an hour, because you are enjoying the cuddle so much.

Understand exactly what 23 month old dd is saying when no-one else on earth can and get emotional because I think she is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo clever

have that feeling of being in the know - whether it's about having kids at all, or having two or more. It's a warm. benevolent ever-so-slightly-smug-but-god-I-don't-want-that-to-show feeling. It's knowing that you know the real failings of language, coz you could never put it all into words.

FITMS - you are so right, that sort of thing makes my blood boil, why do people feel the need to comment on our mothering skills? Especially people who have forgotten all about bringing up children, or worse, those who haven't done it yet!

Run down the street pretending to be a train, complete with arm movements.

LOL Emskilou re- Get that bogey that is flapping in and out dds nose and not vomit but feel a sense of accomplishment

• thought that was just me

Have a bath with baby boys and stay there when the floaters appear
Mum couldn't

Laugh out loud when your t-shirt's being pulled up over your head in the frozen isle at Tesco and then say "are you hungry darling?"

Translate "mlchck, buh, frchck, wawaweee" (mailtruck, bus, firetruck, nee-naaah-nee-naah) without even thinking about it while everyone around looks completely baffled.

There's no way I would catch sick in my hands. I would rather let the washing machine deal with the consequences. And I would never poke around in it with a finger! ughhhh!

Spend as much time on Mumsnet as we do..?!

pull apart a poo to see what's in it

yes ghosty - one thing I never in my life thought I would do is catch another persons vomit in my own bare hands - yet another revelation of motherhood

I'm loving this thread!!

Pick poo out the bath (my ds poos in the bath far too frequently!)!

Ella, in my house that was definitely a job for daddy! He even bought a fishing net for the purpose...

Just had to add:

Make conversation with DD2 (10 months old) whilst in trolley going round Sainsburys on indiviaual merits of quiche lorraine as opposed to spinach and gaots cheese tart.

Play games with DD1 (5yrs) whilst being bossed around, told where to sit, what to say and how to say it.

Learn to be ambidexterous (sp?). Am naturally left handed and hold DD2 on left side, so have learnt to sign things with right hand.

Am sure there's more.....!

Patiently explaining SEVERAL times to 3 yr old dd that Winnie the Pooh isn't actually made of poo and womanfully attempting to answer questions such as 'What are butterflies made of?'.

Scooping babysick out of bra and carrying on as if nowt had happened so as not to draw attention to oneself during family 'do' whilst holding baby and wearing foolishly low-cut top.

go out wearing ds?s breakfast on my shoulder where he lovingly chewed me & not care-too much. As long as he looks clean & huggable.

ditto - cuddle him just after he's been sick because he needs it.

Rosieglow lol ? ds loves pulling babywipes out the packet & chews them too, they must taste disgusting.
Wondering if I can get some kind of toy involving box & scarves that will amuse him all day so I can lurk on mumsnet..

Walk round the local Sainsbury's singing Old MacDonald, realise that a Premiership fooballer is standing next to your trolley and smiling oddly at you, so you smile back at him whilst continuing the next verse, including noises!

Clap at the tiniest poo and wee in a potty

Kiss a snot covered face

Cuddle a sick sodden body

Eat jam tarts that ds has made in the full knowledge that everything that was under his fingernails has now worked it's way into the dough

Anticipate and answer questions on various topics without batting an eyelid, eg 'mummy, why is sky?' 'how did I get into your tummy, mummy?' (then followed up by 'I want to go back inside your tummy, mummy')

Have a handbag that contains enough supplies of all sorts of crap to see you through a nuclear war