Swagger Inn Thread 101 - we're out & we're proud of our love for The Musketeers

[SparklesRedHotChileLeather]

So, we have passed our 100,000 posts of Musketeer-related musings & as befits such an achievement, we got our shout-out on Twitter from Jess Pope Any lurkers out there, come on in & state your boffing order.

In the spirit of celebration, I am also imposing the rule that everywench's first post in here has to be accompanied by a pretty Musketeers pic. Don't let me down now mis wenchitas.

A thread about facial hair, where the OP does not like beards (especially not on the telly it seems):

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2416089-Facial-hair?msgid=55309187#55309187

Not sure why that link won't work!

I have given my personal preferences.

Oh, it seems it does work...

Afternoon fuckersz!!
I've been re-reading the TavLit done so far and it's GMTRH so, gird your loins wenchies. Gird. Your. Loins.

MLG I completely agree with your point of view. You are a woman of wisdom.

No to hipster beards, yes to plenty of stubble.
I actually think I only dated Mr M to begin with because of his stubble . He looks very pale vampirelike cleanly shaven.

Is it supposed to chafe so much!?

Afternoon wenches.

Any WellDog puppy news?

Hope wenches and mini wenches are well.

We have rain. Lots and lots of rain. And tonight I am out at an outdoor gig. It'll be more than worth it though and then tomorrow this man can dry me off. Although then there might be more rain as I suspect I'll be wet all over again

Norah GET ON IT. I have missed my Araporn.

Well I've only read through it, I haven't written any more yet.. Not really been in the mood
However....
I would like to introduce the newer wenchies to the Training Dog series.

Have had a quick look in the snug... Omg

On beard subject, I tend to ban Mr guidelines from shaving when not at work as he has good stubble.

Am watching Wimbledon. Well hello again Dustin Brown

morethan you must try the special sexytime SF phrase out. comtesse did, with spectacular results. The biting of the earlobe is a compulsory part of it, so make sure you do it. Results cannot be guaranteed otherwise.

Has any other wench tried it yet? Or are you all too shy?

The salted caramel ice cream I was talking about is a tescos own one chaise*

• other overpriced morally suspect supermarkets are available.

Afternoon, it's been mercifully cooler here, although I still feel lacking in energy. Specifically, my thighs & arse have no energy - maybe I did a workout in my sleep last night?! Most odd.

Hope you've had a good journey apricot & that the flight was ok

Do you need any inspiration norah?

I've just googled him letus. I'm not usually a fan of dreads, but he has lovely brown eyes & looks like a bit of a flirt. I would.

TRAINING DOG. PART ONE.

Athos, Porthos, Aramis and Cardinal Richelieu are staging an intervention....

Ah, Dog. We were just talking about you"
"Yeah bruvs?"
"Yes, you see we have a reputation to maintain, and you are letting the side down really."
"Oh maaaan. I don't mean to, I can't help it. I'll keep practising, it's alllll good"
"Yeah, about that. Let me introduce you to Norah, Livia, Bea and Anne."

"Watch me"

"And this"
Aramis leans over to Anne and whispers "I've got you"
"So you have" Anne giggles and they start snogging and stuff
"Or do this" Porthos lifts Norah over his shoulder and throws her down on the hay before they wrestle about a bit
"Ugh, you could always try this. Wench, here, suck my cock or go to hell"

Dog is both horrified and turned on.
"So what do I do?" He whines
"Watch and learn my boy"

That's cheered me up norah, thank you! I have a meeting at school tonight, best go & have a shower first. Laters

Go for it fancy it all helps

TRAINING DOG PART TWO

Athos looks disdainfully at Dog.
"Er, what's that on your trousers?"

"Nuffink"

"Uh huh"

"So do you know how to pleasure a woman?"
"Er, have you seen me?"
"You there, wench, come here please"
"Oooooohhhhhkaaaaaaaayyyyyyy"

"Up on the table if you would, yes, that's right. Gooood spread 'em"

I bloody love Training Dog!

Fancy he's on BBC1 right now. They've just said he plays with such abandon. I bet he does other stuff like that too

TRAINING DOG PART THREE

In which Our Herod and Richelieu oversee Dog getting to grips with boobies

"I am massaging her boobies"
"No Dog you are kneading them. Not the same thing at all"
"And we've told you before about whining."

"They are called brrrrreasts. Call them by their proper name or go to your bed."

TRAINING DOG PART FOUR.

One morning as Richelieu works at his desk....

"FML there is so much of this shit I have to do. It's not easy signing death warrants and paying off spies and torturing people. Not to mention the plans I have to think up in order to have world domination. FML FML FML."

"Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off"

"What is it? I'm extrrrrremely busy"

"Oh, errr, well...."

"Forgive the intrusion" she whispers hoarsely. "I have a terribly sore throat"

"I see. Well there's only one cure of course"
"Yes, warm honey and lemon" says Dog kindly.

"You need something salty. Allow me to assist. Kneel."

"Suck it until I spill then gargle"
"Mmmggghdhdss ttsssjjjffhfghnnnggg"

"Get it out then!"

.......

"Oh, that's much better! Thanks!"

I bloody love Training Dog.
Please continue....

Oh fuck.

What? No reason, kay? I can do a bit of tidying if I feel like it cant I?

m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=htcQ6CIKqGg

that's actually scarily like the wenches when it comes to technology. You should have seen the thread where we all started doing twatter.