What constitutes an affair??

[pedilia]

Having recently discovered DH has been excessively texting an 18 year for the last two months while I am heavily pregnant, just wondered if this is classed as an affair as nothing sexual seems to have happened.

Yes, thats an affair in my opinion. No physical wrong doing, but, I wouldnt tolerate that...

that is what I thought

bump

I'd consider that being unfaithful - I am very sorry you are going through this

Wot a wanker!

are you ok?

That's horrible - does he know you know - what's he said about it all?

Definitly an affair

How old is he? And how did he get to 'meet' this 18 year old?

God sorry meant

well depends. You say there's been nothing sexual, what kind of texts has he been sending?

He know I know, I am smarter than him and he couldn't cover his tracks well enough.
He is desperatly sorry ( of course )and says it was just the attention, I only have two other small children and work fulltime.

Not sure of the content as I have only seen some of the texts, nothing sexual as far as I am aware.

He met her through work, at the moment he is still in the house as he is a SAHD and I don't see why I should make my life more difficult or for the kids. I am due at the end of December, once I have had the baby I am going to review things and decide whether I actuall want to still be with him.

PP

if nothing sexual has gone on and he isnt actually seeing her then i would try to focus on the reasons behind the texts and the attention that he isnt getting at home.

im not saying its your fault or that you havent given him attention.im just saying there's obviously reasons behind it and you've got a family and another on the way and if you decide you do want to make it work and he does too then you need to talk.

i personally think that sometimes the emotional unfaithfullness and caring for someone else etc is more hurtful than a one night stand for instance.

i think you need to find out the exact truths bout the relationship between them and the see what his reactions are and how you feel.

dont rush yourself.trust takes time, im working on things with my dp after he left me and got together with someone else, that wasnt sexual either but it hurt as much as if it was.

look after yourself and make it clear to him that that ehaviour isnt acceptable and sit down and discuss how you both really feel.

good luck

thanks mumandlovingit- we have talked and shouted(me) loads over the last two weeks.

I acknowledge that emotionally I have not been there for him, i was to side tracked with everything else but he should have discussed that with me instead of someone else.
I don't think he is attracted to her she was just there and willing to give hime attention over the phone, I believe he is sorry but not sure I can ever forgive him, but as you say it will take time.