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Original poster

How much is too much for a hen night?

76 replies

Codswallop · 29/04/2004 09:39

Ds2 god mother has emailed me to ask me if for her hen night I think that £180 is to much. This includes a night in a hotel, spa treatments (basic) and two meals.

whilst I think it is probably lovely I just cant justify that expense when the wedding itself will prob cost us 250 quid - hotels, clothes gift etc.

I replied that she should go ahead abut I couldnt go.
Ina nice way (!)

Did I do right. it think Idid. - help!

What heappened to a night at the boozer?

OP posts:
Tinker · 29/04/2004 09:44

I agree.

Northerner · 29/04/2004 09:44

£180 is a lot for a hen night IMO. Personally I wouldn't pay that much, but then none of my friends would organise something so expensive.

twiglett · 29/04/2004 09:45

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Original poster
Codswallop · 29/04/2004 09:46

She has got wealthy fiancee adn has (in al honesty) become asmug married.

she only a teacher herself!

OP posts:
Original poster
Codswallop · 29/04/2004 09:46

She has got wealthy fiancee adn has (in al honesty) become asmug married.

she only a teacher herself!

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Original poster
Codswallop · 29/04/2004 09:47

Oh no twig am not outraged, jsut its too much

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Beetroot · 29/04/2004 09:50

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Original poster
Codswallop · 29/04/2004 09:58

no its in surrey! maybe near ks!

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Original poster
Codswallop · 29/04/2004 09:59

I could afford it but dont really want to.

also I hate hen nights, truth be told, managed to escape with only a samll one for mine. went to anight club in London and hated it

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Thomcat · 29/04/2004 10:04

If I ever do the deed I fancy a night at the dogs (never been and always fancied it), or maybe quad biking (but I'm doing that next month and might never want to do it again!). Failing that I'd rather have a night in with all my bestest mates and get silly and trashed.

Unless it was my bestest mate I wouldn't want to spend that sort of money on a hen. Loads of my mates have done trips to barcelona etc and I'd rather put the money towards a family holiday tbh.

roisin · 29/04/2004 10:18

Codswallop - I'm sure you did the right thing, and I'm sure she understands. Brides-to-be should bear in mind the circumstances of their friends when planning their hen-nights.

All four of us are going to a 'very smart' wedding this summer (my brother). They are loaded, so it's obviously going to be a very posh do ... but it has knock-on effects for everybody, and it's certainly going to be a considerable blow to our budgetting!

SoupDragon · 29/04/2004 10:18

Way too much. I'm organising a hen weekend for my friend and it involves a number of different things on each of Friday night, Saturday, Sat eve and Sunday. Each option is a different cost so there should be something to suit everyone. I was very aware when organising it that not everyone can afford/wants to blow £x00 on a spa hotel.

roisin · 29/04/2004 10:20

I recently read that the 'average wedding' costs guests £400 to attend (accommodation, travel, outfits, and present). Up til now we've never spent anything like that sort of money ... but maybe we've just moved in the wrong circles.

oliveoil · 29/04/2004 11:09

Far too much imo. Like you say, add in the wedding costs as well - pressie/outfit/hotel etc and it all mounts up.

The best hen do I went on was to a cheepo italian followed by a ropey club.

Thomcat - I have done a dogs one - not a sarrrf london one, a manc version v good.

tiredemma · 29/04/2004 11:16

when my best mate got married in easter, it cost me and dp the following

  1. hen weekend in dublin = £95 flight and accom
    £250 spending money
    £50 outfit and new shoes for weekend

  2. stag weekend ( which dp went on)= £105 train and accom
    = £250spending money

  3. the wedding = £75 hotel room
    = £50 pressie
    = £120 spent in bar on night

it wasnt even us getting married and look how much was spent!
it was worth it though!
my other mate is getting married in sept and weve decided to just do one night in blackpool, cant afford two weekends away!

CountessDracula · 29/04/2004 11:18

Coddy you were totally right. IMO it's stupid how much it costs to be a wedding guest these days and these horrific hen weekends where you just end up spending a fortune are madness.

I had a lovely meal out with about 10 of my girlfriends, then we met up with the boys back at ours and partied all night! It was great fun and I think it cost everyone about £30. Plenty

Hulababy · 29/04/2004 11:19

You did right. I have noticed a real trend for these more expensive hen (and stag)nights. What's wrong with a night on the town, with maybe a meal thrown in as well? DH and me had ours on same night and we had about 10 people sleeping over, most just on the floor!

Marina · 29/04/2004 11:22

Absolutely right. I had a meal out with a few friends and really enjoyed myself. I'm sure she'll have a nice time but agree with everyone else here that when that kind of sum is involved, you either treat everyone (sounds like she can afford to) or expect that some won't be willing/able to go.

tigermoth · 29/04/2004 11:43

yes, agree with all this. I have just said refused an invitation to a hen 'night' lasting all weekend. The 2 night hotel bill alone put me off.

skerriesmum · 29/04/2004 11:48

My sil is getting married in August and we've already booked the hen, 200 euro for two nights and one dinner at a spa/resort place, so about 150 sterling? Most of her friends are still single, high earning and childless, so I expect most of them will come, but she might get a shock that some can't. I personally think it's a bit silly but she's family so we just have to budget for it!

Original poster
Codswallop · 29/04/2004 11:53

HMm thanks all

freind at play gorup has just suggested it may be a nice break for me, but I dunno

My ideal night out would be:

champers and bits at hers
a meal ( sliglty raucous)
coeeee and silly liquers at hers/ or at a hotel

HOPe the sw lonsdon meet up is like that!

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Original poster
Codswallop · 03/05/2004 07:48

Bloody hell she is going ahead with it and leaving me out!1
not waht i intednded at all

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Original poster
Codswallop · 03/05/2004 07:51

I ma so fickle and self centred

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JJ · 03/05/2004 08:01

Are there other people not going? Maybe you could arrange your ideal night (the champers, meal, coooeeee and silly liquers)? Have everyone bring a silly liquer -- eg, has to be a very loud colour or something and the cheapest bottle of champers they can find. Do a tasting of cheapies, have the meal (dirt cheap, you'll all be tipsy), then finish off mixing and matching funny coloured drinks.

Actually, I'm just dreaming now.. but it sounds like fun to me.

I stayed at home with a friend of mine and a bottle of whisky while the boys went out. It was great!

Beetroot · 03/05/2004 08:03

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