scared...any advice?

[granarybeck]

I know this sounds silly but i am really scared of being in house on my own overnight (ie without dh). Dh works away a few times a month and i always get people to stay over. however he's away tonight and all next week so i decided i am going to have to start manging on my own. any advice for getting over this silly fear?

What are you afraid of? Break ins?

Oh you are most definately not the only one!

We live in a big old house - I quake up in the bedroom until I finally fall asleep and keep the children in bed with me - just in case!

I do make myself do it though and with time it has got a little bit easier!

Dont watch anything scary on tv, put some candles on, keep the tv or music on when your in bed, put a load of lights on so as your going to bed you dont feel as if your descending into darkness and read to drift off to sleep. Or stay on mumsnet till your eyes wont stay open a minute longer and you wont even notice your dh isnt there!:0

get a cat or a dog
keep the tv /radio on so there is normal noise - with real people talking
Make sure you lock the door when he goes out, then draw all the curtains so you don't feel anyone could peek in on you
Get him to check each room with you, before he goes (under the beds, in the wardrobes etc) so you know you are not about to be pounced on the minute he is out of the door
make sure you have plenty of things to be doing with yourself, so that you don't end up sitting there scaring yourself
Ask a friend if its okay to ring her at say, 10pm so you feel you have a safety net, if someone decides to kidnap you and hold you to ransom for a million pounds
check that a neighbour will come and rescue you should you find any 8 legged monsters intent on devouring you alive
leave a light on when you go to bed - and keep a torch nearby if you feel you need to

not that I have been there or anything

Most of all, remember that you are in your own home and are very very safe. Whilst burglaries may seem very common, burglaries whilst the householder is in are very very rare, and when they do happen, harming the occupant is almost unheard of. Also remember that scenes from all those scary films are just that, films, and that you live in Xtown, surrounded by neighbours, with everyones life toddling along as usual and nothing dramatic and scary going on

Lots of luck

I get scared too and have trouble sleeping, very odd as I lived for 8 yrs on my own with ds in a less secure place than we are now!
I think its a form of separation anxiety. no tips for dealing with it though, aside from getting into bed before it gets dark and not drinking late so you do not have to go to dark loo in middle of the night...

God, the way we're all going on, she'll be scared to death of things it never occurred to her to be scared of, before she asked mn for advice

It's probably just a matter of habit, granarybeck - have you ever lived alone? Just steel yourself and do it, and perhaps it won't seem such a big deal. I know that's easy for me to say, and I LOVE it when I get the chance to be alone, it feels like a luxury of space!
Have friends over for the evening, have a few galsses of wine and then say goodbye to them when you're ready to drop?

Message withdrawn

My DH is away every week - I have just never let it worry me, but then I lived alone on and off when I was single. Lock doors and windows, close blinds and curtains and then sit down and relax I'd say.

thankyou so much for all your thoughts. it is just burglars i'm bothered about, i think i watched too many horror films when i was younger! also i have never had to live on my own,so was never forced to get used to it. i am determined to get used to it as with dh's job there isn't much choice, in the day i love to have my own space its just at night i turn into a quivering wreck.

GB - Am in exactly the same situation as dp is away, and agree that it is some sort of separation anxiety (plus am pg, and am feeling a bit needy). Did live by myself for years though, so know that as long as I lock doors, windows etc I will be ok.

Plus I can eat what I want and watch all the crap on TV that I want too. This is a football free zone!!!

Lol, i meant candles for peacefullness and relaxation...not a seance!!!! Oh and GB, tommorow morning you will wonder what on earth the fuss was all about, youll be fine!

granarybeck, hi, i am exactly the same.
DP works away at least one night a week and i used to have my mam here for a drink and gossip but she's otherwise engaged nowadays looking after my dad.
ANYWAY, i take dd to bed with me, have the phone next to my bed and the mobile. A torch and a knife. I also put a chair against the bedroom door and something on top of the stairs.
I lived alone for years but as with soapbox, we live in a big old house now and it feels strange!
I also have a big dog but don't know he's be much use as he's soft as shite!!

Hope you are o.k and if you get spooked, come on mumsnet and it'll take your mind off it!!+

These are all very interesting ideas.

The thing I find funny is that I crap myself at the thought of burglers when I am on my own and sleep like a baby when DH is around.

The reality though is that I suspect if we had burglers when DH is at home he would be a complete wuss and it would be me that would be left to deal with them any way.

So why do I get myself so worked up????

DH is about to start a new job which will mean a lot less working away so I am looking forward to a few less sleepless nights

Hope you sleep alright tonight GB!

I SURVIVED!! Am a bit knackered as couldn't sleep (same as you though soapbox sleep fine when dh is here even though he'd be no use at all if we were burgled, he's a bigger wimp than me)but i am really proud of myself for being a real grown up and being on my own!

Congratulations! Last night even though I wasnt on my own I was laying in bed and every time I shut my eyes I could see this person in the doorway behind me, so there I was laying there trying to fall asleep with my eyes open, I couldnt help but think of this thread!

Well Done GB...
Now how sad am I? You see, I have no problem with the thought of burglars, although our house was broken into two years ago. I am however scared of ghosts/ghouls/monsters etc.

36 years old and scared of the dark. I find having a drink usually helps.... or 2 or 5

BR