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Original poster

Are you anti-abortion? why?

359 replies

HAPPYFACE · 21/10/2006 08:04

Reading another thread has made me keep thinking this question. I don't understand how anyone can be totally one way.
For me I think it is up to each person and I wouldn't judge anyones decision.
I personally think that whether to keep a child is complex. It changes your life forever when you have children! I don't see how it is beneficial to mother or child if their lives will be miserable.
You only get ONE LIFE and need to make the most of it.

OP posts:
ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 17:56

Spidermama, are you arguing that social security is an adequate income to live on? Because I would argue with that - it is way below the average and children in families who live on it are socially excluded.

Spidermama · 21/10/2006 17:57

Calig I'm arguing that we've come a long way from workhouses and the extreme poverty of the 60s and before.

JennyLeEVIL · 21/10/2006 17:58

Quootiepie try and keep off this thread it is just going to upset you more and more.

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 17:59

And I'm arguing that we haven't come anything like far enough.

I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to be a single mother. (And I am one!)

JennyLeEVIL · 21/10/2006 18:00

and it must be hard enough already with out hearing people casting judgments

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 18:00

its a roof over your head and food on the table. No, you might not have the 42" plasma, the brand new Merc, Oxbridge education... but youd have given someone the gift of life.

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 18:01

i cant... I can never walk away with hands over my ears...

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 21/10/2006 18:20

But if you don't want to give someone life, then it's not a gift, is it? It's been wrung from you unwillingly.

And I really don't know what Oxbridge education, mercs and plasma TV have got to do with not living on benefits. Most people don't have those.

motherinferior · 21/10/2006 18:24

And why muddle the 'education' issue with 'Oxbridge education'? Yes, some young woment terminate pregnancies because they want to concentrate on their education (wherever that may be). For them 'giving the gift of life' would take their own lives in directions that they cannot face.

hooOOooleymama · 21/10/2006 18:42

Are you suggesting that to abort because you couldn't provide for it financially yourself is selfish.

I chose to abort my first pregnancy, after being made redundant twice I found out I was pregnant a week after signing a contract to work with teratogens.
My abortion was at about 6 wks, I convinced myself it was just a bunch of cells, I'm a scientist after all. Of course when you're carrying a pregnancy to term you get more interested in things like limb buds & embryonic brains and I feel deep regret for the baby I didn't have. Intellectually I know it had no consciousness in the way that we know it, but emotionally it was my baby and I'm not an unfeeling monster.

Legally I could have turned around to my employers and refused to do the work. The father, still my partner would have tried to support me financially, he would probably have lost his house.

I took the 'easy' option [hmmm]

Blondilocks · 21/10/2006 18:43

I think everyone should have the choice to do it. But it should not be considered as a method of contraception - more a last resort.

HappyMumof2 · 21/10/2006 19:07

Message withdrawn

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 19:28

"I don't think it's wrong to decide you don't want to live in grinding poverty for the rest of your life, or even for the next five/ ten years."

It was an extreme contrast to the "grinding poverty" people on benefits live on, apparently.

divastrop · 21/10/2006 19:29

living on benefits does not mean living in poverty.there should be more support for women who have babies and dont have the support of the biological father for whatever reason ,yes,ie the government should get its arse in gear regarding reforms to the csa,and they should stop withdrawing funding from organisations like sure start that make the prospect and reality of being a single parent a little less daunting.

whoever said abortion was out of date was right IMO,continuing an unplanned prgnancy doesnt mean choosing to live in poverty,and being a single mother doesnt mean being a social outcast.there are plenty of methods of contraception widely available free of charge,including emergency contraception.we know that an embryo/foetus is more than just a 'ball of cells'.

so why is abortion still available pretty much on demand?

Blandmum · 21/10/2006 19:32

I cannot help but think that there are very few women so unthinking and shallow as to use abortion as a form of contraception. I have never met any, although I have met woment who have, after much soul searching, had a termination (thankfully I have never been put in the situation where i nedded one). None of these women did it without great thought.

This is a thread where one is loath to use the term, 'lesser of two evils' but i am at a loss to think of a better way of describing it.

I don;t think that there is a woman alive who wishes that abortion wasn't necessary, but life is not that easy. Sometimes awful choices have to be made.

And in reality banning terminations, simply make legal abortion impossible. Illegal terminations take over. And then the mother as well as the foetus/baby is put at risk.

foxinsocks · 21/10/2006 19:37

so why is abortion still available pretty much on demand?

well because there are people like me, I imagine, where contraception fails and it takes you a while to figure out you're pregnant. I didn't choose to have an abortion but it was certainly one of my options.

I am pro-choice anyway and would far rather abortion was available than not.

ruty · 21/10/2006 19:41

but when you really think about it a more highly evolved society would not put women in situations where they have to abort their [potential] child so often because they can't lose their job or do not have enough support. If there was more support and a more favourable work environment for women who want to have children then the need for abortions would go down a great deal.

foxinsocks · 21/10/2006 19:42

but some women genuinely don't want children

lulumama · 21/10/2006 19:46

"living on benefits does not mean living in poverty.there should be more support for women who have babies and dont have the support of the biological father for whatever reason ,yes,ie the government should get its arse in gear regarding reforms to the csa,and they should stop withdrawing funding from organisations like sure start that make the prospect and reality of being a single parent a little less daunting.

whoever said abortion was out of date was right IMO,continuing an unplanned prgnancy doesnt mean choosing to live in poverty,and being a single mother doesnt mean being a social outcast.there are plenty of methods of contraception widely available free of charge,including emergency contraception.we know that an embryo/foetus is more than just a 'ball of cells'.

so why is abortion still available pretty much on demand?"

even if reform started on all these things..esp the CSA- benefits might not be reaped for another 10 or even 20 years......in an ideal world, no-one should struggle day to day....

yes , there are lots of methods of contraception and the morning after pill - not one is 100% effective.....

and you have not mentioned the psychological aspects of an unplanned pregnancy -

i am in a stable marriage, with 2 kids..suffered horrendous PND first time, did not get it this time...but i do not want anymore children for many reasons..not least the fear of another horrific bout of depression.....i have a mirena coil as it is very effective contraception

so if i became pregnant using this contraception...should i not be able to have a termination...is the unborn child's life more important than my mental health and the stability of the family that i already have...? is it not fair i should be able to 'demand' this.......

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 21/10/2006 19:49

Agreed lulumam.......or even the physical risks to the mother particularly a very young mother.

kittythescarygoblin · 21/10/2006 19:50

I haven't read all the thread. I hate the idea of abortion and I wish it would never have to happen. I wish birth control could be perfect.
I hate the idea of destroying a life. I felt very differently about abortion AFTER I had had one.
Do I think it is wrong? No
Do I think it is a horrible thing? yes
I have very confused feelings about the subject as you can see.

lulumama · 21/10/2006 19:52

i think that is part of the problem kitty...these issues can be terribly black & white until you are the one making the decision....and not a one of us has the right to judge anyone else;s decision....or make women feel guilty about their choice,,,whether the choice was to keep the baby or not..

QuootieSpookypie · 21/10/2006 19:52

Dont mean to diminish the effects of PND, but I suffer from PAS/PTSD and its uncurable - the "cause" will never go away. You only ever "cope"... forever and ever and ever and ever.

Greensleeves · 21/10/2006 19:53

Poor Quootie you sound so sad. I hope you're wrong about it being incurable, you might feel more at peace wiith it in time.

lulumama · 21/10/2006 19:54

Qootie..wish you were near me ( maybe you are ?!?!) i;d bring you that tea and carrot cake for real.......