Swagger Inn Thread 70 - we're all tired out after last thread's acrobatics but at least no carpet burns this time.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Tongues stand down, thread 69 is finished.

I wouldn't care, personally...

Oh FFS. DH just been going on about winter tyres for aaaaages. Logged him in to my quidco account (frugal wench) and then had to listen to in depth comparisons. In the end I told him I was a bit bored talking about tyres. Harsh but fair on a night with Musketeer action.

Now I have to catch up last two pages. See Carolina has been busy

Pmsl at mrmouses urgent shit.

Excellent bongs helen! Are you on the mend?

Hope elky is ok.

instagram.com/p/wcSM9SDw0I/

From Sabahbien instagram again

Elk?

I'm doing ok, getting there, etc etc... still got looming deadline though. Really shoulnd't be on here... Am consoling myself with chocolate.

I have 17 tabs open with various picture/videos and articles. I have MN open on 3 more.

Luca looks like he's got an anaconda round his neck.

Anne, that's a receipe for chaos :)

How's the Tav Lit coming (yes) along?

I've calmed down a bit now.

MrE offered to try and settle Babyelk this eve as I was so upset i wasn't going at the weekend (just going for lunch now, with baby attached ). So I did him a bottle earlier.

He changed her nappy. I had to get the bottle ready and deal with mlleelk haven a tantrum. He spent about 2 minutes giving her the bottle, with her propped against a fucking pillow - not cradled in his arms like normal person, before giving up to her screaming, leaving the milk on the side to waste and just lying next to her with his eyes closed. I made it through 10 minutes of increasingly blood curdling screaming before going in and giving her the bottle "she won't take". So, in summary:

I expressed it.

I sterilised and made up a bottle.

I fed it to her, and

I got her to sleep.

He had an early night.

So there you go....the reason why the one fucking weekend I have been looking forward to for months has been totally pissed on......and he eats mince pies with a knife and fork. Twat.

regardezmoica managed to grab Sanit for a picture as well as Tom...

instagram.com/p/wcTp8xi4Rg/

And who the fuck is Sarah?

Isn't it enough that she lives in the South of France. She doesn't need personal video messages from Tom FGS!

Oh Elk.

BLOODY MEN!

Propped against a pillow

Hands Elk

And I hate all these french bitches!

for Elk Bloody idiot, FFS.
Bring a bottle at the weekend, I'll feed BabyElk for you

Thanks carolina I thought i'd calmed down....but apparently not

I was thinking about Tuesday. I could probably do with a bite to eat before it starts as i'll be getting the train back soon after and I really don't fancy a British Rail sarnie for tea. Would you be up for some food? Apes too.

When is it going to be OUR turn eh wenches? WHEN? I want to log into my Twitter account & have it full of pics of TM with wenches. Can you imagine how fucking awesome that would actually be??????

Llamaragorn @Bombabouse · 6m 6 minutes ago

Howard Charles me ship avec lui. Si on est pas votre nouveau OTP vous êtes dans l'erreur !

pbs.twimg.com/media/B4hsgu0CQAIxUqZ.jpg:large

ref the Badders cup/teapot . I also GUFFAWED at that.

Right, ever the positive, in a night of partner fuckwittage, I bring you the latest on Mr C. I'd texted him about the 'pussy whip' bollocking. He returned whilst I was in the bath and proceeded to double-bollock said individual with major feminist diatribe about respect for women. I think he's been reading Caitlin Moran again . It's given me the RIGHT HORN.

So that, on top of FuckMeNowTomBurkeParis is quite admirable foreplay I must say.

I tell you what...if he'd had to suck milk out of his chest with an electric pump, there wouldn't be any left on the bloody side after 2 minutes trying. Arse.

Night wenches

That sounds great Elk. I can understand your desire to avoid a BR sarnie. Name a place and time and I shall be there.

How about Paris now?

Am so jealous of the Frenches!

Oh Elk. Just read the bottle debacle. Just. Fucking. Unbelievable. (About the mince pies ).

'Un taxi s'il vous plait!'