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Original poster

Someone "crossed" dd forehead today in Boots, what is your opinion?

141 replies

lilymolly · 07/10/2006 18:57

Was in boots today with dd in pram, an older lady came to admire dd as they do! and she had her daughter with her,about 30ish who had learning difficulties (politically correct?)sorry if not.

Anyway, this lady got chatting and I was taking to her daughter and asking her name etc, being pleasant as you do, and anyway the older lady was very nice, and as she walked away she licked her finger and did a cross on dd forehead and said something like " god bless you child" or along the lines of this...

I was a little bit shocked but anyway walked away and got on with shopping. But it got me thinking, although I am not religous at all, I did not really get offended as I knew she meant well, but when I told dp, he thought it a little offensive , he is anti religion.
So I thought I would ask what you would have done in my position?? Not asking for religious/non religous debate, just your thoughts on how you would have reacted.

OP posts:
BATtymumma · 07/10/2006 19:00

i think i would have accepted it as a nice gesture meant by this lady as her way of offering some form of almighty protection.

if you were wearing full Hijaab and carrying a Quoran then i guess you could have been forgiven for being a bit offended but i really don't think its anything to get hot and bothered by.

TwigTwoolett · 07/10/2006 19:03

I would have accepted it as a well-meant gesture

inside I would have been livid and screeching with my agnostic rage against organised religion and the hypocrisies it raises

but I would have smiled and nodded, smile and nod

Rhubarb · 07/10/2006 19:04

It's her way of wishing your child a full and happy life, how could you find that offensive?

Accept it in the spirit it was meant!

tortoiseshell · 07/10/2006 19:09

don't be offended - given this lady clearly was religious, she's just giving your child her blessing, which is a nice thing. And even if you're not religious, just accept it as it was given!

PeterCushion · 07/10/2006 19:09

I agree that this was meant kindly, and I imagine the lady would have been mortified to think it might have caused offence.

I would have been touched by the gesture, and accepted it with good grace - as you clearly did.

TwigTwoolett · 07/10/2006 19:10

well its easy to get offended

its presumptious

if you aren't christian its offensive

its wiping someone else's spit on your child's head

take yer pick

Rhubarb · 07/10/2006 19:11

Oh well said Twiggers!

And happy birthday!

Original poster
lilymolly · 07/10/2006 19:21

Yes, it was the spit on forehead which disturbed me slightly!! [grin}

I sooooooooo know it was meant as a nice gesture, but just a teeny weeny part of me felt a little bit uncomfortable iyswim, that said I agree she was only meaning it in a nice way, and would have been mortified if she knew I was at the least bit bothered. Bless her she was nice really,I feel a bit sad that I felt wierd really.

OP posts:
Original poster
lilymolly · 07/10/2006 19:21

FFS Bloody smileys

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 07/10/2006 19:23

Just ask her to wash her mouth out with Dettox next time!

moaningpaper · 07/10/2006 19:25

Why is it offensive if you aren't Christian?

Do you get offended if someone says "Bless you" if you sneeze?

Do you get offended if someone says "Ah bless her" if your dd is being cute?

It's not like she was performing an exorcism.

SpongeybobSquarepants · 07/10/2006 19:26

oh fgs par par parp
she wa sobv a nutter

pointyfangedWeredog · 07/10/2006 19:26

Licked her finger?? Is that something people do?

GreenSlashedSleeves · 07/10/2006 19:29

I would, in the moment, have been touched and pleased that she had had such an impulse of kindness and protectiveness towards my dd and me, religious or not.

Later I would have mulled over it at some length and it would have occurred to me that I could have been offended, because I am not religious - I don't really approve of people "foisting" their beliefs on others, etc....and I think I would have concluded that on the whole, the fact that a well-meant, genuinely loving gesture by an old lady towards a child can so easily be met with indignation and anger makes me sad. It's a shame.

Having said that, when an old lady bustled up to me when ds1 was about 4 months old and snatched his dummy out of his mouth without asking me, saying "We don't want that horrid thing in there do we, we can't see your lovely little face", I was angry and I was unable to see that she meant well and was simply coming from a different place culturally from me. I can see it now - but I couldn't see it then.

Interesting thread.

moaningpaper · 07/10/2006 19:29

Actually I have to confess I kinda like the blessing ritual

I think it's a lovely thing to do to kids

The licking isn't really necessary but the principle is nice

I'm not sure what's offensive about it though

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 07/10/2006 19:31

no one has every licked their finger at me

though I was, so the story goes, kissed by ken livingstone when I was a baby

would just take it in the spirit intended really, tbh. Dp would fume though.

GhoulsToo · 07/10/2006 19:32

well I've surprised myself because I think I'd be pissed off actually.

for a complete stranger, however lovely, to lick her finger and do something so personal to your baby is quite shocking to me.

If she'd said 'God bless your baby' or similar that would have been fine.

I think she was out of order.

moaningpaper · 07/10/2006 19:32

I wouldn't mind being kissed by Ken Livingstone

TwigTwoolett · 07/10/2006 19:33

morningpaper .. really ? you don't get why to people who are not christian someone marking the sign of the cross on your child's forehead would be offensive?

bless you is a generic term which works across all religions

but the sign of the cross

really you don't see the difference?

GreenSlashedSleeves · 07/10/2006 19:33

My dh would have pulled a face and been a bit quiet for a while I think.... but then he doesn't like anyone touching his babies, it interferes with his primal instincts, bless him

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 07/10/2006 19:34

it has left a lasting mark, as you can see

Kidstrack · 07/10/2006 19:36

i wouldn't have reacted, i'm not religous at all but i think its nice when people have faith in a religion and they follow it for the rest of thier lives, like the old lady who has probably gone to church every sunday for the last 50yrs or so (only taking a wild guess). And i also don't mind strangers touching/patting my children on the head etc so it wouldn't have offended me in the slightest

GhoulsToo · 07/10/2006 19:37

This reply has been deleted

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pointyfangedWeredog · 07/10/2006 19:39

I don't like the licking.

belgo · 07/10/2006 19:43

I think it was a nice well meant gesture. I wouldn't be offended by it in the least. Would you be offended if someone offers to pray for you? A priest told me he's pray for me while I was pregnant, it made me feel special.

As for the licking thing - it was on her forehead - and plenty of near stranger relatives have kissed my dds on their cheeks and I'm supposed to accept that, why would licking your finger be different? I