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Original poster

Someone "crossed" dd forehead today in Boots, what is your opinion?

141 replies

lilymolly · 07/10/2006 18:57

Was in boots today with dd in pram, an older lady came to admire dd as they do! and she had her daughter with her,about 30ish who had learning difficulties (politically correct?)sorry if not.

Anyway, this lady got chatting and I was taking to her daughter and asking her name etc, being pleasant as you do, and anyway the older lady was very nice, and as she walked away she licked her finger and did a cross on dd forehead and said something like " god bless you child" or along the lines of this...

I was a little bit shocked but anyway walked away and got on with shopping. But it got me thinking, although I am not religous at all, I did not really get offended as I knew she meant well, but when I told dp, he thought it a little offensive , he is anti religion.
So I thought I would ask what you would have done in my position?? Not asking for religious/non religous debate, just your thoughts on how you would have reacted.

OP posts:
Tortington · 07/10/2006 23:18

"oi bitch take yer fuckin spit back"

is one retort.

Gillian76 · 07/10/2006 23:31

Get the blessing but not the licking the finger first.

That bit would have upset me slightly but the blessing alone would have warmed my heart!

PinkTulips · 08/10/2006 00:29

i live in holy catholic ireland so i've got to say i probably wouldn't even notice.... happens to dd alot!

colditz · 08/10/2006 01:09

I probably would have been quite chuffed, although not religious. I bet she didn't thhink "This mother isn't religious, i SHALL CROSS HER CHILD'S HEAD TO PISS HER OFF!"

hunkermunster · 08/10/2006 01:24

Depends.

If she hawked up a greeny onto her finger before she did it then I'd have something to say.

Otherwise I'd just used cooled boiled water to wipe it off the DS in question, check his draw sheet and settle him in a dark room...oh dear, off topic a bit, I think.

[bit pissed]

northerner · 08/10/2006 07:39

Well as a regular church goer I wouldn't be offended by this, but I do find it rather odd. I have never come accross anyone doing this, ever, And the spit thing would definatley bother me.

Does she think she has holy spit or something - is he a vicar?

belgo · 08/10/2006 07:57

Why do some of you find the whole spit thing too personal/intimate? Has you dc NEVER put a toy into their mouth at playgroup/nursery ? Can you imagine the germ exchange there?

curlew · 08/10/2006 08:16

I would have been outraged by somebody presuming to thrust their patriarchal superstitious religion onto my child - but I would have simultanously realized that I needed to get over myself and that it was a charming gesture which did no harm and which would help link my baby in with her vast human family! I have travelled in Italy with a small red headed girl baby and if blessings from strangers count at the final reckoning, she's in there with the sheep whatever she does over the next 60 years!

Blandmum · 08/10/2006 08:23

When dd was tiny we lived in Scotland. Severeal times strangers would coo over her and then press a coin into her hand.....for good fortune.

I thought it was rather charming, and never once considered that they were saying I was stony broke

Have to take the context, I think. I wouldn't have been offended by a kindlt 'b;essing' of any type. Now if the woman had said, 'Get that child christened or she will be going to Hell with her Hussy of a mother' it would be a different thing!

ScummyMummy · 08/10/2006 08:50

The spit has a yuk factor and the religion a slight discomfort factor for me because would want to acknowledge the probable kindness behind it without implying that I agree with the religion, just in case it was one of those rare surruptitious checks on your religious beliefs that a few people do. Had a lot of God has really blessed you stuff when the twins were small and found it hard to respond. "Yes" was true in the sense that I felt happy and lucky but false in that it implied I thought God was responsible and once when I went for "yes thankyou" big smile I got invited along to the woman's church. But "no" sounds so rude. Felt minor dilemmas and there was no spit involved at all! So in your situation, lilymolly, I think i would have gone for a slightly uncomfortable religiously repressed smile and hurriedly moving on. I wouldn't have been offended though- just socially confused.

northerner · 08/10/2006 08:56

martianbishop - my mum always does this and always has, first time she sees a new baby she puts a coin in it's hand, and it has to be silver. Funny isn't it?

Blandmum · 08/10/2006 08:57

I had never come across it before and found it very nice. Very unexpected, but nice. Doesn;t happen in Wales or any bits of England that I have lived in.

FrannyandZooey · 08/10/2006 08:59

I don't like the spit thing, either. It would have made me shudder a bit, but I think we can all see the gesture was kindly meant and fairly harmless. I know it is irrational to mind a millilitre of strangers' spit on my precious child, but I would momentarily cringe. I am not fond of saliva, in general.

Kittypickle · 08/10/2006 09:06

This has made me laugh a bit as I've just come back from visiting my friend and her gorgeous new baby. I took them both to the supermarket as we needed to get food for dinner and she wanted to get out the house. This is her third baby so she's been round the block a few times on the motherhood front , but she had a slightly strained look by the time we left and was muttering something about germs. I think if someone had done this to her new baby I really do think she would have either passed out or hit them !

My reaction would have been the same as Twigletts.

Blandmum · 08/10/2006 09:08

F and Z, not even the Holy Spittle of St Phillomena?

hermykne · 08/10/2006 09:12

listen in ireland lots of people say goodbyw with a "god bless you" or if you have a spot of bother "i'll say a wee prayer for you", knowing that you arent religious. its a big habit here and so irratating.

FrannyandZooey · 08/10/2006 09:16

at the word 'spittle'

I would rather change a pooey nappy than deal with a very dribbly child, tbh. Snot is the same.

northerner · 08/10/2006 09:18

I still don't get why she licked her finger. If it was the blinkin pope than fair enough, he has holy spit, but some old woman in Boots?

Tommy · 08/10/2006 09:27

I would think (she says, trawling back to her Irish grandmother's habits...) that the spit thing would be akin to "baptising" the baby - just in case you hadn't done it yourself and the kind lady didn't want your beautiful baby to go to Limbo (even though that's been closed down now of course!)

You will be glad to know that it's not encouraged in contemporary Catholicism (even if it ever was)

Doesn't stop it being revolting though.

curlew · 08/10/2006 09:30

Actually... your dd is now a postulant memeber of the Little Sisters of St Polycarp.......

Original poster
lilymolly · 08/10/2006 10:27

After a nights sleep, I can look back with a smile, agree with some that it a reflection on todays society when it can be considered offensive if someone touches your baby
however, like other people have pointed out, it is no different to someone kissing dd, or her touching a toy which someone has had in mouth etc.
I am not blessed with an obsession with hygene at all, and in hindsight, I think I was shocked because it was soooooo unexpected and has never happened before.
The coin thing is defiently more comman up here in the north east, I got loads of coins from people who either put it in pram, or gave her it in her hand, i.e crossing her palm with silver. I was never offended by that, but I am used to it, so maybe thats the difference.
Oh and just to clarify she only slightly put spit on the end of her finger by dabbing it on her toungue
Gosh hope she is not some knid of super power who will be reading this thread and will cast bad thoughts on dd and us............

OP posts:
hub2dee · 08/10/2006 10:44

Hmmm... what if she had been a Satanist and outlined a nice pentagram ? huh ?

(Presuming I am right about such symbolism, St. G, but feel free to correct).

hub2dee · 08/10/2006 10:46

Is the thing that irks you just the boundary between private faith and public religion IYSWIM ? Or was it more the slobber ?

LadyDooM · 08/10/2006 11:00

finger licking good... hahaha no pun intended :P :D

Original poster
lilymolly · 08/10/2006 11:04

Think it was a bit of both, but in hindsight, think I was just shocked really.
Put it this way, if it was to happen again today, I would not say anything... just smile and carry on with life....

OP posts: