Oh, b*gger, the annual sense of swimming uphill through custard descends on the Inferiority Complex

[motherinferior]

It's probably seasonal. And/or hormonal. I certainly have bog-all to complain about: my children are NT, charming and stunningly beautiful (and DD1 leaves me notes saying 'Mum I love yoy xxxx'); my partner is really very nice, I suppose, and is finally solvent - indeed earns more than me now; my own work-life balance is broadly OK; my career, although not brilliant, is quite reasonable not least because I can now stop doing as many paid-by-the-day editing jobs I did, and work on a trade mag a couple of days a week. I have friends who'll babysit and/or can now afford paid options.

But it's still...custardly. And endless stream of the yellow stuff. I am simultaneously possessed by the urge to bog off from all of them for a weekend, and utter horror at the thought of leaving my delightful Inferiorettes. My career, although quite reasonable, is not brilliant. Sorting out babysitting is still sorting it out - it's very different from the kind of family support some people have - and in practice we just don't go out much. I'm fed up. In a somewhat wallowy way, of course. I want a sodding break.

It's the sitter-sorting that still puts me off.

Sitters are great, they sort it with one call AND text you to remind you you're going out etc

Thanks! I'll pass it on to DP

Once you've registered all you do is phone, give your postcode and say "we want to go out for these hours on this night"

And...guess what, we're going out for lunch, DP has just brightly informed me. Suddenly the custard recedes!

I very often call them on my way to the loo at work since I don't have much time and that's honestly how quick it is, by the time I'm on my way back it's usually sorted.

Marvellous!

I don't have quite the same custard moments about my life, but when my best friend lands herself a job in Niarobi doing the kind of thing I;d like to do I have what I think of as wrong life moments. My life's fine but I do sometimes wonder if it;s the right one. god that sounds awful. but I said it. And now the moment has been drowned by a a mixture of love and guilt.

I see hc has had a best friend new job moment too.

I know how you feel MI (and everyone else). Two years in to this parenting lark and the sheer repetition is starting to grate. Not that I don't love dh and ds dearly etc etc. Not a bf moment but a work colleague recently left to do a job that I could be doing if I wan't part-time working parent etc i.e. a Bullseye "Look what you could have won" type moment .

Blimey, I'm such a moaner!!! I'm not sure what it is either....but am convinced that the onset of autumn and winter doesn't help.

LOL MI - we're just back from Bahrain where we went for the weekend (less glam than it sounds, bit like going to Manchester if in Leeds distance wise from here). Once DS was in bed we sat down to chat.... er..... um.... er.... (bearing in mind no booze cos its ramadan)... um....er.... ooh look that film is on, shall we watch it.... hopeless.

MI - It's that time of year - days getting shorter, darker, colder. Christmas looming and all the money/stress that entails, and no sign of next Spring for ages..!

I feel the same in that I really haven't got anything at all to grumble about, other than just being tired and constantly looking forward to the next time we can ditch the kids - but then feeling guilty about it. And dp is wonderful but has never organised a thing in her life - she just doesn't do 'event management'! So I organise all the holidays, meals out, etc. Makes me feel like I'm the one who needs that kind of outlet more, but I know that's not the case. And when I do suggest a meal/pictures/etc., I get the usual "we haven't got any money" response - which is true, but I don't want to hear it!!

Ho hum. We really haven't got anything to moan about, but hey, it's good to do it every now and then anyway...

The weekend/night away sounds like an ideal option really. I think it's just the ruttiness of it all, isn't it, the never ending same routine. Www's advice is good about Sitters, too.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Had enough...
yesterday ds wet himself twice at nursery - this isn't the first time, and I don't know what to do about it. He is toilet trained, he knows he shouldn't do it BUT.
dp's study is a pit (I refuse to touch), but point out he needs his P60 for the accountant - 'no that can wait until the end of Jan' WHY FFS, why do we have to have the annual panic on the 28th Jan, why not do it now?
DP lets dog in house with muddy paws...
empties dog bowl and remaining food in sink...
I could go on...
Telling moment last week.
Me to ds: where is you tshirt?
DS: spilt milk on it.
Me: did you put it in the laundry box
DS: No, I left it on the floor, and it'll come back nice and clean...
Me: (Muttering under breath) 'Yes, cos the bl**dy laundry fairies will pick it up and wash it.....'
Rant over...

Message withdrawn

A friend took me to London last week for two days. Admittedly I did have to take dd3 but we shopped, ate in trendy restaurants and went out for dinner (dd3 had a whale of a time)

god it was necessary. She organised the whole thing, even decided which shops we would visit until I relaxed enough to start making my own decisions

I think a weekend away with girlfriend is what is required here. I get quite depressed when forced to live a routine for months on end.

We can plan it for you

oh for heaven's sake stop whinging woman

I mean really

i m not hugging no one.

count yer balssing mi
and please tlake to finbar. she has flecks of custard on her still

oh absolutely cod it's time to do your Lucky Star Arithmetic

also to take up a fiddly craft of some sort

or collecting dolls house furniture

Oh MI
I love your posts, you are so funny and so on the spot.

I think the response shows that many of us feel as you do.
I have a new Cleaning Regime (inspired by MN) and noted last night that I was cleaning the bathroom and it was really not too bad (because I cleaned it a few days ago you see), which has to be a first. But did it make my soul sing? Not really, Nor did doing the ironing at midnight.
My own fault for going to Pilates for an hour I guess.

Oh we love our kids and our partners, but yes, like JackieNo in her slippers (lol), I think we all fancy just walking out. I frequently threaten it in fact (well, it stops the kids in their tracks and they start to be Nice)

My way out of the custard you so eloquently describe is to just go and do things. Tomorrow the PTA has organised a fashion show and sale and I have surprised myself by inviting a couple of friends (from Another School too ) to come along. I hope they do and maybe we?ll have a nice evening away from the yellow sweet stuff.
Can you do something similar? Or yes, TC suggestion of an evening class seems like a good idea. Practical?

Actually I have the Day Off tomorrow (a spare day of holiday for some unknown reason) and I am planning to get out into the garden and make myself feel better. Then I may just eat a cream cake. Or have a large hot chocolate in a cafe.

I think you should read your post again MI, your life reads v well from where I am sitting.

Lovely children
Good relationship
Money
Career ok
Babysitters available if arsed to arrange

I have days when I think oh ffs this is so sodding boring, woe is me, but you know, read a few threads on here and I soon realise how lucky I am

I think it sounds like a common midlife problem MI. It's about this age (and stage) when you have a partner for life, children etc that most people start to think from time to time "but there must be something more surely?"

I also think that Autumn is a vile and horrid season , it's getting colder, darker etc.

You need a weekend away.

But Olive I think that is part of the problem. MI (and others in custardy swimathons) know they should be happy because they have such good things in their life, but still don't feel it. When I was in the deths of my depression and people, and mylsef, told me to count my blessings it just made me feel so much worse, because I should have been so happy and wasn't.
Sometimes it is actually OK to wallow for a while, instead of beating yourslef up about not being on top of the world.

I do think it's this time of year, you know. The nights drawing in, weather getting colder, it still being dark when I get up at 5.45 with my blessed number 2 son.

I yelled at ds2 last night when really I was yelling at dh (we were doing that stand off at bathtime routine - you know, when you run the bath and see who cracks first and actually puts some children in it?) Ds2 was tired and started bickering with ds1 so I yelled at him - when really I wanted to yell at dh "you know, I'm tired too but I don't get to just collapse on the living room floor [settees are in the garden] and watch the news after dinner - I have to put our kids to bed!"

You know that bit in The Incredibles when all the kids are fighting round the kitchen table (but in a super-powered type way) and Mrs Incredible shouts at Mr Incredible "Bob! It's time to engage. Do something! Don't just stand
there! I need you to intervene!"

• that's me and dh, that's how it is all the time - he is just oblivious (though "really very nice, I suppose" )

How did I end up going on and on? Yeah, anyway - no, you're not alone. I'm fed up too I'd quite like to bog off too...