Increasingly concerned at censorious PC parenting becoming the norm

[Twiglett]

yes we all want to protect our children and make sure they're well rounded individuals

but where does our idea of what is right stop and our child's right to discover for themselves begin

obvioulsy there are certain boundaries of behaviour

but eg should a child be stopped from exploring physical play methods (a la cowboys and indians) because it doesn't fit with our ideal of a non-violent society

should a child not be allowed a Barbie because we feel it is a bad stereotype

what do you think?

I want to live in a country where one parent is free to bring a child up without school or rules and another can choose a boot camp type boarding school, where one can indoctrinate their children to believe they should worship the grass and another that God is an invention. What I want to avoid and this Government sadly has done all kinds of things to help make this so, is a situation where we are all to be the same, a kind of Maoish every person the same, standard, no variations from the norm.

I am at the risk taking end. My older children have been alone after mid night travelling home alone where other parents wouldn't countenance it, risks their lives on skis and horses but I would never impose my views on anyone. So I respect the rights of parents to feed their children junk food whilst I wouldn't do it myself.

Don't agree with you Xenia, nobody is even vaguely similiar on mumsnet, why else do we spend inordinant amounts of time trying to force our parenting ideas on others

I'm with www on this one. I also think censorious is the wrong word. If anything, if you look at the bigger picture it is precisely Barbie and other mass manufactured imagery, dolls, toys, brands that are censorious. Cerain elements of the branding and toy manufacturing industry presents certain images (usually heavily gendered), as "normal", they crowd the market with these "normal" images and products and it is this that has the effect of censoring our children's play and imagination. I loathe Barbie and I loathe the trivialisation of violence but I acknowledge that children will be children. I have never banned Barbie but I have chosen never to buy it and I have explained to DD why. Maybe I have indoctrinated her but she loathes it too. And, tbh, I'd rather I - as her loving mum - was doing blatant indoctrination than the toy manufacturing, branding and advertising industry was doing it subtley, while we were half asleep.

Absolutely, Hatwoman!!!!

I also think that these manufacturers don't give children enough credit for their ability to be interested in much more real and complex things like science, nature,etc. It's incredible what they can get excited about if you give them the chance and if they know these things exist to be interested in!

thats very true sauerkraut.

ok

ignore barbie and cowboys and indians

Do you think that parents allow kids to just BE nowadays

ooo sauerkraut - I am so with you on that one. ironically enough I don;t think that's just industry. I remember very vividly a hands-on exhibition thing at the natural history museum. It was deisgned for 6 years olds plus, (iirc) to measure and weigh things and answer questions on a piece of paper.But the best thing about it was you got to touch stuff - shells, fossils, snake skin. When I asked if my 4 year old could go in the grumpy man gave me such a huffy look (although he did, grudgingly say yes) and clearly thought I was a bit nuts. wtf? also a huge amount of toys to do with building or science are found in the "boys" aisle, with boys on the box. thta one really pisses me and dh off.

I do.
but I guess it depends on your definition of just 'being kids' Twig. For example, mine get lots of mooching about time at the weekends, we don't plan too much because I think we all have very busy weeks and lounging about is important. They have no after school activities at all but both are in childcare/school ft. But ds gets football at after school club and dd is in a gorgeous nursery which does lots of playing on swings and going for walks in the park and stuff so I reckon they do quite a lot of trad kids stuff.

I don't have the news on or the radio (mainly because I don't like listening to it, I read one newspaper on a Sunday) so they don't know much about wars or other world horrors, I just don't think they need to. They don't watch Eastenders or Casualty or anything other than childrens programmes or films. So I feel mine are protected more than most in some ways.

Although, personally, I don't enjoy village life, I feel priviledged to be here in Switzerland for that very reason- they spend a lot of time being kids. School hours are short but efficiently employed, my 4 are here for lunch every day, and they have afternoons free, very often. They play with other kids, they climb trees, they spend a lot of time outdoors. That requires me to be here 100% of the time, though, and a lot of Swiss women resent that. They haven't yet had the same wholesale revolution that British women have had, and this allows kids to be kids for a lot longer than in the uk. They start school age 6 here and that also makes a huge difference to the amount of time they have to be kids. Less stress all round!

I think school should start much later than it does here too. I think 6/7 is about right.

hatwoman, come to Switzerland! Never saw more "hands-on" museums!

Sorry to go back to power rangers for a minute, Twiglett, but what could be more exciting than, for example, having The Hobbit read to one and then making up games about that instead? I think it's about choices, not censorship.

The anti-crap-food contingent might enjoy reading this

ha ha funny article, I like it.

Children are too mollycoddled, there is far too much analysing and navel gazing going on. It is only because as a society our lives are so much easier than that of say our grandparents that we have the time to focus on such minutiae.

Love Jaques Peretti, he's hilarious and I'll bet he is a great dad

pmsl at that article

What Batters said.

"Do I think that parents allow kids to just be" nowadays.
Yes.
I get the impression that there are cultural pockets, though, and the people in those pockets feel like either A) them + all other parents are constantly ferrying the kids about places, hovering over their development, baby einsteining their babies, or B) them and all other parents think it's normal to have a haphazard schedule of rubbish food and little outdoor time, and mostly plant kid in front of videos with little attention or opportunity for other stimulating activiites.

I suspect that the vast majority aren't in A or B camp. Media and well-educated people are more likely to think the whole world is A like them.

I don't get the toy thing.

You ban the toy, your child (presumably) knows you don't like it.

You get them the toy, you talk to your child, child knows there are things you don't like about the toy.

Or does the child learn something more if you ban it? What end result do we want in our kids?

I don't get the toy thing, either. Parents have always said "I don't care if so-and-so can, YOU can't!" to their kids. Nothing new.

It isn't giving a child a healthy balanced diet that makes anyone smug per se.
It's sneering and / or enjoying a good laugh at people who may not have had the time / opportunity / capcacity or cultural environment to have adopted a similiar approach, or who HAVE thought about it but have slightly different thresholds or benchmarks to you.

I'd really like to think that we have more influence over our children than the stereotypes presented by toys & adverts. My DD had Barbies from about 3, and used to make up stories about them, but I made sure that she realised Barbie wasn't real, any more than her cuddly toys were real bears, cats etc. In fact DD realised herself that Barbie's head was too big fairly early on (tho' she never mentioned the boobs!)
Also one of our favourite family occupations is taking the piss out of adverts so pointing out that they are trying to get you to buy something & so they emphasise the good points was fairly easy.