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Original poster

what would you do??? Tricky situation

24 replies

SparklyGothKat · 14/09/2006 23:48

I'll start at the begining. My best friend took in her 14 year old sister after a family breakdown. They are living in a small bedsit. Anyway my best friend went away to stay with some bloke she met on the internet and left her 14 year old sister home alone, with £20 for food, bus fares, eleccy and anything else she needs for 10 days. She came round to see us last wednesday and we said she could stay with us. My best friend came home on tuesday and hasn;t even phoned or texted her sister to see how she is. She now doesn;t want to go home. I am happy for her to stay here, but I think that my best friend wants her to come home. I don;t want any money and my kids get on great with her, but I know it will cause an argument if she doesn't go home soon.
My best friend took on her sister, but forget that she now has a child to look after.
I feel so annoyed with my BF for leaving her sister with just £20 to last her, when her bus fares would have totalled £36 anyway (DH has been taking school)

OP posts:
Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 14/09/2006 23:52

oh and she left the £20 with her neighbour/friend and when her sister asked for the money the neighbour refused to give her it.

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:02

oh and she is going away again on the 28th for a week...

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essbee · 15/09/2006 00:03

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:07

Yes BF knows she is with us. I have been chatting to BF on MSN, and said that her sister is welcome to stay here till the council rehouse them into a flat but she doesn;t think its a good idea.

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cowmad · 15/09/2006 00:08

pleeessse over to behaviour development mt dp hit my dd dilleeemmmaa

MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 00:08

yes sparkly - I am really impressed and quite in awe of some one who can allow a 14yr old to stay - even for a short while - and not sound fed up after a week of giving - I hope your bf and her sister know how lucky they are to have you!

Anyway - does you bf know she's there? could you come to an agreement she stays for a while? or at least comes back when bf goes away? Would you really be happy for her to stay. I am sorry I have more questions than answer - are you sure it will cause a row. think I should wait for some answers before I go on...

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:08

But the main thing is that she can;t go off and leave her sister home alone whenever she feels like it.

OP posts:
essbee · 15/09/2006 00:09

Message withdrawn

MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 00:10

who essbee the bf?

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:11

For a 14 year old, she is ok.. lol. She did get suspended from school for her lip piercing last week, but me and DH sat down with her and said that she had to return to school, which she has does minus the piercing. She is very bright and fab with my kids.

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:12

Is it illegial for a 14 year old to be left alone??

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MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 00:12

sparkly I can't tell you how fab you sound!

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:15

lol, I am only 27 and its a learning curve but she is a great girl. She is helpful and a laugh. She doesn't go out and cause trouble.

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essbee · 15/09/2006 00:15

Message withdrawn

MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 00:18

its looking like you'll have to step up again sparkly and have a frank discussion with bf. maybe yo0u c0a0n offer to help out when she is out of town?

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 00:19

Thing is I have been best mates with my friend since we were 5, and I don;t want to cause a argument. She has no partner or kids of her own, and I think she doesn;t know what is ok and not ok.

OP posts:
essbee · 15/09/2006 00:24

Message withdrawn

cinderelly · 15/09/2006 00:34

oh no no no! I would be fuming with BF. She obviously cant handle the responsibility of looking after her sister and I personally think she's taking advantage of your good nature. I can completely understand you wanting to help out, but think BF may be taking advantage of your good nature. Considering the family have had probs, who leaves a sister for a man on the internet? She needs to get a grip me thinks. Sorry if that sounds harsh

MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 00:35

I wish I had an easiy answer for you - but I don't I keep half typing stuff and then rubbing it out

cowmad · 15/09/2006 00:36

my partner hit my dd
behaviour development
sorry
please

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 15/09/2006 08:28

LAst night when I chatting to BF on MSN I said that her siter could stay here and she said it wasn't a good idea, but couldn't tell me why it was a bad idea...

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MrsApronstrings · 15/09/2006 18:58

so where does that leave you sgc - has bf told her sister she has to go back? Has she told you to tell her?

Blu · 15/09/2006 19:11

But if you have been freinds since you were 5, surely you can say anything to her and she will know you don't mean to burt or harm her?
Could you stal fro the time being and say if she is going away on the 28th, S might as well stay with you until she gets back?
Surely you can tell her there were problems when S only had £20? Your bf can't be totally thick, can she? She knows about the bus fare costs!

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 17/09/2006 19:27

well it all kicked off.We went away for the weekend and took the sister with us. I told BF that I was taking her and she said fine. Just before we left the sister sent a message to BF saying that she felt that she was being picked on and that she thought it was child neglent.. Yesterday sister got a voicemail message from her mum, saying that she had to go home to her sisters and go and see her and if she didn;t like it she could put herself into care I texted BF and asked what was going on and she basically told me it was none of my business and she never asked me look after her sister, and that her neighbour was keeping an eye on her, but the neighbour wasn't staying with sister. Her dad was also mentioned but I know that he was on holiday for 4 days of the time BF was away. I have told the sister that she has to go and chat to BF as atm they aren't commuticating. BF also told me that what happens to her sister when she goes away on the 28TH is up to her and her mum.
I now no longer have a BF.

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