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Original poster

I have a dilema..... What would you do??

87 replies

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 09/09/2006 11:58

Have been invited to go to Germany with a group of friends early tomorrow morning. Same sort of thing as when I went to France a couple of months ago. The plan is to be back Tuesday night and as long as we run on scedual its doable.

But, DS1 has his first day at school on Wednesday. Which is fine as long as I get home Tuesday night but if there are any delays (ie, the ferry is delayed, the car breaks down, I get arrested...) then I risk not being back in time for his first day. His dad will still be home to take him but surely his mom should be there too?

I would really like to go to Germany though. Ive never been before, will be going to Munich.

So...

How important is it that Mummy is there on the first day of school? Would you risk going on the off chance that you might get delayed? Would you not go at all? Would you go and think sod it!?

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/09/2006 11:08

I wouldnt go. But i suspect that you werent so much in two minds about it, you just needed someone to say its okay so you didnt feel too bad about it.

Im not going to say its okay for you to go because I dont think it is. I think there will be other opportunities for you to visit Germany in future, at times when you wont miss something that will never happen again.

Its lovely that you are happily single and enjoying life but you certainly arent carefree with it.

motherinferior · 10/09/2006 11:30

Just to back up Dot's post; no, I didn't wind up my daughter about 'big school' meaning lots of hard work either. Actually I told her, quite sincerely, that I thought she'd love it, and she wasn't remotely worried about it: she woke up that morning absolutely thrilled about it all. I was very taken aback with her reaction.

I don't give a flying f*ck about most milestones, as it happens. And DD2's childminder will take her and drop her off for pre-school when she starts next week. My concern in this case was not for me, it was for my child.

Original poster

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 10/09/2006 23:14

I didnt go

Well I got as far as 20 mins away, got out of the van and came home

OP posts:

tigermoth · 10/09/2006 23:19

I guess it just felt wrong, then? - Good that you had the courage to go with your gut instincts.

Germany will just have to wait.

Chances are, you know, after all this heartsearching that your ds1 will sail through his first day.

Blu · 10/09/2006 23:31

Tama - i'm REALLY pleased you didn't go. You probably won't thank me at all for my reasons though. But i'll tell you, just this once and then never mention it again, ok?

From what I have understood, you have had serious problems with your ex and MIL. Smooth enough now, but it doesn't sound to me as if MIL is to be trusted.

Last time you went haring off on one of these trips it was with a man you had never met before, there were problems involving buying illegal porn dvds and god knows what. You were hours (if not days) late.

This could make you way too vulnerable if your MIL gets nasty again and tries to keep the children - because it could easily be seen as pretty irresponsible.

Actually I think it is risky going off in lorries with a man you don't know. Of course they like some female company whilst driving all those miles, and am sure it's fun, but no-one knows where you are, the guy was erratic about calling you afterwards...

I am amazed no-one else popped up to say this the first time you were thinking of going! I am obviously the aged great aunt of MN - but (as all aged g-as would say) I'm only thinking of you!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 11/09/2006 00:13

Absolutely Blu.

Im pleased you changed your mind Tamba

IdrisTheDragon · 11/09/2006 00:30

I'm glad you changed your mind as well

Dottydot · 11/09/2006 09:28

I'm with Tigermoth - good to go with your gut instincts - hope ds has a fantastic first week at school!

Blu · 11/09/2006 09:53

Yes - Good luck to your Ds for his start of school.

ghosty · 11/09/2006 10:05

I am pleased you didn't go too Tamba ...
FWIW we ALL went to DS' first day at school (Me, DH and DD) ... it is welcomed here. But as children start actually ON their 5th birthday it isn't as if the teacher has 30 kids AND their families in the classroom at the same time. They have continuous intake all year round ...
As for making it a big thing for the kids - well it is a big thing isn't it? A huge rite of passage for any child surely? The kiwis make it a really big deal ....

Original poster

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 11/09/2006 10:27

Im glad I didnt go too.

I think your comments are intresting Blu and make alot of sense. Its really difficult being seperated from your children for 4 days at a time so I throw myself into anything else that I can - usually going out. I hate coming home to an empty, quiet house so when the kids are away its usually just to sleep and then off out again, which leads me to make stupid decisions. I try to detach myself from them (the kids) when they arnt here, otherwise I would miss them too much, so I pretend I dont care that they arnt around and do this whole 'young, free and single' thing that im so good at. And I know I take stupid risks sometimes but at the time it seems preferable to sitting at home alone being miserable and having to think about all the things I should be doing and havent because it seems like such a mountian. Anyway am rambling now!

Ps, I didnt buy the porn was given it

OP posts:

essbee · 11/09/2006 12:25

Message withdrawn

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