Central London vs Commuting...advice needed? (Q long, sorry)

[AnelaSunshine]

DH and I have lived in London (Zone 2) all our adult lives and most of our friends are here (though all over London, Essex, Herts etc) and can't really imagine living anywhere else.
We have a nice top floor flat in a great neighbourhood with a shortish walk to the tube. BUT DH still has to allow 50 mins to get to his job in the city (I work from home).
We recently had our flat valued and the estate agent has valued it as significantly more than we paid for it. So we're toying with the idea of taking the money and running. I.e. moving out to somewhere commutable before we start our family.
Our problem is that we're not sure where...as don't really know where to start! We went to look at a house in Sussex at the weekend and there was too little garden for too much money and it was on a very busy road but even going to look felt like "playing at grown-ups" IYKWIM.
I know this is one of those "only we can make the decision" situations but I'd be really grateful to hear from people who've moved out before starting their family or those who stayed in London and why it was good etc etc...I know there is such a wealth of MN opinions out there and I'm really interested in what you think.

Sorry if this is vague, and TIA
Anela

Hatwoman

we are in N Kingston, near Tiffin Girls school, ds1 goes to school oin surbiton ( and ds2 also from september) i will look for the sw london thread !

if you live in n kingston and the kids are at school in Surbiton then I guess I know which school. I walk past it everyday.

I agree absolutely with Hettie and others who have suggested moving out altogether. If you are still enjoying London now then don't move for the moment - we had DS1 while still living in London and thinking we would never leave! After a year of north London (and even a nice area) with baby in tow, we decided London, or commuter home counties, just wasn't going to work for us - we moved to just outside Cardiff and suddenly all the reasons I had thought my job would only exist or be interesting if I was doing it in the City just disappeared!

Hi me and my DP left London zone 2 about 4 years ago and bought in Croydon. Its a great train commute only 35 mins to Victoria, but I quickly realised it wasn't London.
I really missed the big town my life and friends and I hated the train commute, so I got the bus for two years which pushed my commute up to 3 hours plus a day.
We have now moved to Guildford which is better, and I have given my job up in London and started my own business up here. I am 9+3 pregnant, really skint a bit bored but happy.
Ultimately London is a great place. I don't think there is much point making a move to the suburbs, If you chose London then stay where you are. Its suprised me how the invitations to partys etc started to dry up once I had moved away. And how people are reluctant to leave the city or go anywhere there is no tube. Everybody I know who has left London still misses it, but its not all the world has to offer.

Hiya

My pennies worth is that you really have to go quite far out to start getting more for your money. I moved from Battersea to Cobham and everything seemed to get more expensive! Nice place tho. We have now moved even further out to a tiny village in Berkshire and have found a quality of life that I didn't realise existed: everyone saying hello to you in the street, the people in your local knowing your name and not minding your dog being in there, kids playing out the front with the neighbours kids. Its amazing, however - I have "friends" that have never met my kids cause they don't leave London to socialise. The commute door to door would be horrid - min 1hour and a half, fortunatley I now work for myself so am only in London once or twice a week. If you have to still work in Lonon no matter what you gain size and lifestyle wise - you will all be compromising if someone if the commute is 1hour plus.

hi thegirlhat etc!

it depends on how close to the train station - 4 beds period house with big garden are rare near the station so i think 500K plus. On other side of town (though still near shops etc) you can get them for say 425, gardens aren't huge though.

Hope that helps x

thanks newgirl - yes that's useful - not (quite)as expensive as I thought actually

London has such a lot going for it when you have kids that I would really hesitate to move out completely. we moved when our son was 3 months old from a top floor flat in zone 1 to a house in the burbs. I absolutely hated it and spent three years really missing our old neighbourhood, but for some reason thought that was what you were meant to do when you had kids. I'd try and wait until you've got at least one and can work out what's most important to you. Can you actually be bothered with a big garden for example ( we quickly discovered the lawn alone was a huge pain, having never owned a lawnmower before and being total gardening novices - much better to live somewhere with a nice big park mowed by the council in my opinion!) We have recently moved to near the centre of richmond - it's really expensive, obviously, so we have really compromised on size and condition of house to get something, and it's still not exactly central London where we were before, but it has the combination of good shops, cafes, cinemas etc in walking distance that we missed, plus reasonable state schools and open space for the sprogs. Plus back on the tube so friends feel able to visit again!

FWIW if you looked in Kent - somewhere like Faversham - you can get 4/5 bed Victorian within walk of station for 300 plus. villages around are nicer to live in but that adds to commute. check out whbreading.co.uk for properties.

And Georgie, did you find that being pregnant/having a little one in a top floor flat was a nightmare? I'm quite worried about it, I get out of breath going up our stairs NOW, let alone when I'm eight and a half months gone with achey back and carrying an extra two stone or so or with shopping and a new baby.

An update for everyone else, had a look in Herts at the weekend which in places was surprisingly nice and (like the St Alban's line) goes straight into Moorgate which would be doable for DH's commute.

This thread has raised so many points for us to discuss though, so thanks all. Things that perhaps we would never have known about, like friends not remembering you exist once you leave London, ensuring that the main carer is in a place that makes her happy, work expectations not changing even if your address has etc.

It's really hard to know what the best thing to do is and doubtless I'll be posting more over the next few weeks as we try and work out what we want to do.

Anyone else care to vote London over "the sticks"? or vice versa?

it was a bit difficult, especially as I put on 4 stone - practically needed a crane to get me up there by the end! babies do get incredibly heavy really quickly - had to choose a really light and basic pushchair with no gadgets and fold it away every day to keep it out of the way of the other flats; must admit it was a big relief to have my own front door and hall etc when we got a house. Having said that obviously loads of people don't have much choice so you tend to adapt to what you've got. Think it would probably have been harder with a toddler than a baby, but even if you had a baby where you are you'd have a bit of time to think about it. Good luck with it whatever you decide!

Hi does anyone know what Bedford is like? Living in Clapham at the moment but really want to move out. Which parts are good etc? Understand that there are good schools there.

Littleharry, we were looking around the bedfordshire/hertfordshire border and were told by quite a lot of people to be careful if going into bedfordshire as have to check schools carefully. Sorry, really don't want to offend anyone in bedfordshire, just what we kept being told. The border was definately reflected in house prices. When we looked at specific schools they looked ok, though was a middle school system.

However, have a friend (without children) who lives in Bedford and really likes it, uses thameslink to get into london, think it tkes him about an hour.