Central London vs Commuting...advice needed? (Q long, sorry)

[AnelaSunshine]

DH and I have lived in London (Zone 2) all our adult lives and most of our friends are here (though all over London, Essex, Herts etc) and can't really imagine living anywhere else.
We have a nice top floor flat in a great neighbourhood with a shortish walk to the tube. BUT DH still has to allow 50 mins to get to his job in the city (I work from home).
We recently had our flat valued and the estate agent has valued it as significantly more than we paid for it. So we're toying with the idea of taking the money and running. I.e. moving out to somewhere commutable before we start our family.
Our problem is that we're not sure where...as don't really know where to start! We went to look at a house in Sussex at the weekend and there was too little garden for too much money and it was on a very busy road but even going to look felt like "playing at grown-ups" IYKWIM.
I know this is one of those "only we can make the decision" situations but I'd be really grateful to hear from people who've moved out before starting their family or those who stayed in London and why it was good etc etc...I know there is such a wealth of MN opinions out there and I'm really interested in what you think.

Sorry if this is vague, and TIA
Anela

OK we did exactly what you are contemplating, moved form a nice flat in Clapham to near Colchester. We were able to buy a 4 bed cottage with huge garden for the money, a real family home.

8 years later I don't regret it AT ALL.

The commute is tedious, but Colchester goes straight into Liiverpool st in about 50 mins, so actually time spent travelling is not that bad. Also you are likely to get a seat unless there are train problems.

Out here it is fab to bring up kids, there is loads to do, places to go, beaches not far, museums, country walks etc etc. We often come up to London with teh kids too. Every holiday we spend AT LEAST one day in London with them, going around the National Gallery is their fave.

I do love where we live. I would recommend it!

OK we did exactly what you are contemplating, moved form a nice flat in Clapham to near Colchester. We were able to buy a 4 bed cottage with huge garden for the money, a real family home.

8 years later I don't regret it AT ALL.

The commute is tedious, but Colchester goes straight into Liiverpool st in about 50 mins, so actually time spent travelling is not that bad. Also you are likely to get a seat unless there are train problems.

Out here it is fab to bring up kids, there is loads to do, places to go, beaches not far, museums, country walks etc etc. We often come up to London with teh kids too. Every holiday we spend AT LEAST one day in London with them, going around the National Gallery is their fave.

I do love where we live. I would recommend it!

Hat woman where do you live > I am in Kingston too, are your children at school in Kingston ?

LST

We've just moved from a one-bed flat in Brixton to a four-bed house in Kingston to fill up with children (expecting first). I grew up in the country and hated every minute of it, so it was a compromise between me and DP who would have loved to go further out. I'm loving the quiet (not under a flight path and no more noise from neighbours) and the space, but there are trade offs. Houses are still eye-wateringly expensive (but more than we'd have got in zone 2 and the schools are meant to be good). Commute is OK - and the further out you go the more likely you are to get a seat. What I'm really missing about London is food shopping and places to eat out - it's all supermarkets and chain restaurants but I guess you have to compromise on something.

colchester sounds good... must check it out!

I'm more confused than before.

Similar to others have said - we used to live in zone 2 and it took an hour (or more) to get into work in the city. We have lived in zone 4 for 6 years now and it takes less time than it did from zone 2 as we are on a fast and regular mainline train. So, I would think about moving a bit further out but not right out.

We went from zone 1 to Guildford last year. yep, the houses are still expensive but at least we have a house now and a lovely garden, five minute walk to great schools, loads to do and a one minute walk to the Downs.

But the big BUT, is DP works from home most of the time unless he is abroad. Most of the dads on our road are off in the morning and back late at night and hardly see their kids in the week.

Me, I wouldn't commute or let DP commute long term because I think it is a terrible strain on all parties.

Me and hubby have just moved from London (zone 3) to Bishops Stortford. Not a huge distance really but enough to make a difference. Strongly recommend renting first, which is what we have done, especially if you don't know the area. Also makes selling your house easier. The location was based on the fact that an hour max was what we could cope with commuting, including time takeing to walk to station and to office; and distance to relatives - in our case, has reduced the time. Also need to ensure you get onto a good train line. Can't wait for baby to arrive so we can go for nice walks in parks, rather than dirty crowded streets of london.

We moved from East London to Kent. Takes LESS time to commute from Kent to the City, can you believe it?!?!

So many reasons that we'd never want to move back.

Before children lived in Islington and would not have lived anywhere else for love nor money.
Now have kids and live in the sticks in Kent and would not change it for the world. Miss some of the theatre & stuff but instead me and DS count the stars in the sky at night in our garden and play on the beach on warm evenings. and I find the 1 hr commute to the city one of the most relaxing times of the day. Horses for courses I know, but the country gets my vote any day.

We have been looking into this and found that prices in the nice easily commutable towns are just as high, sometimes higher than where we are now, so factoring in the extra transport costs it doesn't work out.
We may well do it just for DS's benefit once he nears school age though, as I don't want him to go to school in inner london.

I think commutable Sussex is expensive but there are lots of places within reach of London that are more reasonable.

If his journey is 50 mins door-to-door, you can move out for the same journey time - you just have to be focused about which train line you explore - if he works in the city, look at trains from the nearest mainline eg Liverpool St/Fenchurch St/ Thameslink. But do measure door-to-door commute - you may want to be within walking distance of a station. And that means more expensive houses. But still cheaper than London, except for some patches.

Btw, we moved out and haven't regretted it. Nice and relaxing here and far, far better for ds (Herts, on Thameslink). Commute is a pain in the bum but moving still worth it.

whiffy you make want to move now!
I agree with the hour commuting being the most peaceful time. I am 'commuting' now. it takes me 50 min door to door from finsbury park to hammersmith where I work and I love it. Can read a paper, a book, think without anyone interrupting...
I suppose I wouldn't mind going somewhere not too far from london...
also for me it real country or nothing. If I must leave the buzz of the city I want to replace it with horses, blackberries, dogs and cats, stars at night, wellies and the rest... not for a high street with the same old boring shops...

We are planning to move from inner London burbs a v nice but 2nd floor flat (Wandsworth Common, 10 min from shops cafe common) to the outskirts (Pinner to be exact) partly because my mum lives there and wants to help out more with our 1 year old ( she is retiring) and partly because having had a baby in a nice part of London with friends around cafes lots to do etc I actually desperately yearn for off street parking a big kitchen and a proper garden-not one of these thirty foot jobs. The state schools are excellent and it's half an hour from Baker Street so to my mind it's the best of both worlds. I'd go off my head with boredom in the proper countryside and feel like I've outgrown the whole inner London deli cafe park mums circuit. We will both have a longer commute but to my mind we both work as hard as we do in order to give our little boy and any others that may come along a healthy environment, good schools and lots of love from friends and family-not so we can be 10 mins from an overpriced cappucino.
BTW I didn't feel that way AT ALL when I was pregnant so you may be best off waiting til you've had your baby and then thinking about where to move to.

BAtters, glad to hear someone supporting London to bring up kids. I have mixed feelings about London but on the whole I think it is a good vibrant place to bring up kids.

There are loads of places around London that are great to live in and there are places on the outskirts that are cool as well. Have you tried looking in Up my Street.

I can appreciate your DH's desire to get everything in place before starting to try for a baby but don't forget that your needs/lifestyle when pregnant or with a baby are very different to when you have two or three toddlers. My friend moved to the country while pregnant and found she went mad looking after a tiny baby 24/7 while her husband was at work. Her experience made me very glad I was still in London during my pregnancy and able to meet up with all my friends. It can be hugely isolating having a small baby and unless you plan to move somewhere near family you may be better off staying near your existing support network. Plus there may also be advantages to being closer to your husband's work during pregnancy/early days, as it might be easier for him to down tools and rush home to support you at short notice if need be. Course, that depends on his job I guess!

I had an idyllic country childhood and would like my small ds to experience that too, eventually, but I don't plan to give up my social network and all the fantastic London baby opportunities for a while. There'll be time enough to make that move when we're all a bit older and have answers to some important questions such as how many kids we end up with and whether I end up going back to work full time...

LST - sorry - didn;t see your post - I'm near the university - the dds are at school in Surbiton. there's a west London thread which has turned into more of a sw london thread - it's nice - it's just a list of who's who, with people in New Malden, Kew, Sunbury, Putney - you ought to put yourself on it. Whereabouts are you?

BTW, the place to go if you want to get more bang for your bucks and are thinking of moving out is Kent. If you avoid Medway area and stick with Maidstone and around or Canterbury area you will get house (and garden) of your dreams for the price of a flat in zone 1/2...the high speed link will make cummute even faster (currently appx 1 hr to Cannon st or Victoria).
Agree with mrsmoomin though that you need to be careful where you go so you don't end up isolated...

We left London last December and it's the best thing we ever did. We moved to a little village near Reigate (East Surey) and kids love it, we love it. Even our social life is really good as village has three pubs, one of which is erally lovely gastro pub, there are lots of nice resturants in nearby towns and have made really nice friends here. I only work part-time (in est London) but dh drives into work every day (Battersea) and it takes him 45 mins usually. A good friend of mine's dh commutes into London Bridge from Oxted (lovely little market town a couple of miles away, on Kent/Surrey border) and it is quicker for him than when the lived in Wimbledon (train is 35 mins to London Bridge or Victoria). Best thing we ever did, every time I travel in to work I think "thank God I don't live here any more".

I would like to give another vote for London as a perfectly good place to have a family! I'm a South Londoner (I live in Penge, which is a very ordinary place in between the inner city and the suburbs) and I really don't think I would like to live anywhere else. I really enjoy working in inner London, and London just feels like home to me. It might be nice to have enough cash to live in a more beautiful bit of South London (I grew up in Greenwich, but couldn't afford to live there now). My commute takes about 45mins door to door, and I wouldn't ever go beyond an hour, or have a journey that included going on the central bit of the tube line. In your position I would look at how you could reduce the amount of time your dh spends out of the house (whether at work or commuting) as that would really have got me down in the baby years, and where you would feel comfortable living. The main issue in the baby years is your support network. I don't think it is sensible to make a choice primarily based on schools, as that is a long way off yet. I do think you need to think about it though, as a top floor flat is not ideal. When dh and I were looking for places we used to just get on a bus/tube/train at the weekend and get a feel for places - looking at whether there was evidence of happy families ie good playgrounds/family friendly cafes/children's shops etc.
My parents have a house in the deepest countryside, where we spent all our holidays as children (and hated as teenagers!) it is great to visit, the children have a fantastic time, but I think we are all happy after our two weeks of "green" to come back to London.

HI
Word of warning, moving out can work if its the right place. We moved out of Wandsworth 4 years ago to beautiful thatched cottage, 2 acres great village in Hampshire. At that time I had an 18month old and 6 weeks (we had to move for DH job). Within 3 weeks I knew it was the wrong place, schools too far, shops too far,no other young ( Just about all the young people have moved here from south London so there is no shortage of likeminded poeple. I hate visiting friends in London and love where we are now but please do you research, find out catchment areas of schools, call the health visitior and see how many children are in the neighbouring villages etc. I was deparately unhappy in the middle of nowhere for a year, really unhappy but now have some of the london frineds here now too and most of the facilities and its only 46 mins to London waterloo and you can walk to the station. Now I never look back but it took the wrong move to make me know exactly what I needed. Hope this helps anyone from getting into the same situation as we did!! Ps Houses within commute of london will not be cheaper unless you are prepared to renovate....

Hi we moved to St Albans from London like almost everyone else in my street! It is a lovely town with good schools, parks, shops, cafes etc but everyone knows it so it can be expensive to live near the train station. The train line in to moorgate etc is quick but VERY busy - you are lucky to get a seat. Full of friendly families, but pricey x

newgirl - out of interest (and on behalf of some friends who are thinking of possibly moving your way) what are you looking at for a 4-bed victorian with a decent garden?