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Original poster

How / When did you lose your virginity?

70 replies

Elf1981 · 12/08/2006 21:56

I was thinking about this the other day after chatting with a few friends, then spotted Tamba's thread and it got me thinking - does anybody look back on losing their virginity as a positive experience?

I lost my virginity to my first serious boyfriend at 17, about a week into the relationship, in his best mates bedroom, during a free period at school, all over within a minute or so. I spent the rest of the night in my room feeling really wierd. Not even sure if that was it, the relationship was over - we'd never told each other we loved each other at that point and hadn't even clarified whether we were exclusive.

When I look back on the year I had with my ex, I regret the whole experience - it was a relationship where coming out of it I felt used, bruised and battered. Literally.

My second partner is now my DH, we have been together for 6 years, married for 2.5 with a nearly 1 year old dd. Our first time wasn't ideal (in a local park at 11:00 at night, blush, blush!) but it was later in the relationship - we'd told each other how we felt about each other, he'd already told me he was going to marry me (!!). But was that experience better based on learning from my mistakes from the ex?

I just wondered if anybody had any positive experiences. If not, it makes me feel sad for when my daughter gets older, knowing the kind of feelings she may be having but totally unwilling to talk to me about it.

OP posts:
ferdinand · 12/08/2006 21:59

i do.....i was 16 and had been going out with said boyf for about 3 months.....i adored him, and since found out, he pretty much did me.........

the actual experience wasnt fantastic, but it meant a lot to me, and he still does.....(aside from the fact i had several partners between him and my dh!)....

i was heartbroken when we split up, but have since been in touch, and feel very happy about it all now......

bizarre really, that i went out with him nearly 15 years ago, yet i still think of him fondly!!!

............there is some hope!!

x

Skribble · 12/08/2006 21:59

Yes it was a positive experience, first time for both of us and was warm safe and secure. We both felt the time was right and a freind let us into a spare room at the uni digs, I was still at school.

I know I am lucky and that most young girls don't have such a positive experience. No the earth didn't move but at least I wasn't left traumatised.

hulababy · 12/08/2006 21:59

Age 17, with first proper seriou boyfriend (now my DH). Been together quite a while at that point - had been through the "I love you" stage, and also lead up to it with other thinsg first over the previous weeks. All very positive.

tegan · 12/08/2006 22:04

Mine isn't a success story at all.
I was 15 been with a lad for about a year and it was on his mum's sofa with euovision on the telly how romantic.

expatinscotland · 12/08/2006 22:05

I was 16.

He was a sexy, 23-year-old Frenchman. The son of the family I was living with for a year.

It was a great experience. Pierre was everything a virgin needed in a lover.

We had a terrific time together and had a casual love affair for a few months before I left. The build up to it was thrilling.

I have no regrets at all. It was a completely positive experience.

I'm glad I wasn't under the illusion of being in love with him and he never was dishonest with me. It was just purely lustful and fun.

Original poster
Elf1981 · 12/08/2006 22:06

Wow Expat!
Maybe my error was my b.friend being a virgin too?!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 12/08/2006 22:10

Things had been building between me and Pierre whilst he was in town - he was doing an advanced degree in Paris but working at his family's business in summer and often enough at home.

So one night finally it just got too much and I couldn't get any sleep for thinking about having him.

So I knocked on the door of his room.

He invited me in, said, 'I was wondering when you'd finally stop by'. He grinned and poured me a drink - he had a little lounge attached to his bedroom.

He knew what he was doing, and for that I was grateful.

'Education is never a waste.'

Original poster
Elf1981 · 12/08/2006 22:11

Sex with DH has been perfect from the on-set - the first time I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven
I think I'd have been extremely disappointed if I'd had them the other way around

OP posts:
nikkie · 12/08/2006 22:13

I was 15 it was the only one night stand I have ever had in a bedroom at a party , it was c**p !

expatinscotland · 12/08/2006 22:15

I had a lot of friends who had crap experiences, nikkie, including one friend when were 14 who started messing w/this fella. He said he'd only put it in 'a few inches'.

Well, he did, but enough to break her hymen.

So, no more virgin for her.

I was determined to hold out - yeah, a whole 16 years - for someone who knew what the hell he was doing.

nikkie · 12/08/2006 22:24

I was very drunk, very p*ssed off , and not particularly bothered what happened that night so went with the flow, couldn't understand afterwards why people would be so interested in sex

expatinscotland · 12/08/2006 22:25

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Bucketsofdinosaurs · 12/08/2006 22:35

16, first proper boyfriend, also his first time, we'd been together about 5 or 6months during which I had driven us both to distraction trying to persuade him to do it!
We did it a few times over the following few weeks, got engaged (sigh) and then I woke up one day and realised he wasn't the person I wanted to spend my life with so we could hardly continue the romantic intensity as it had been so I dumped him, poor darling boy.
Repeated this scenario several times more with other young men over the years (more sex sooner mind ) before meeting DH, who WAS the man I wanted to marry so I didn't have to dump him, yay.

expatinscotland · 12/08/2006 22:36

I just repeated the scenario several times over. Many times over.

LieselVonTrapp · 12/08/2006 22:44

I have only ever been in love twice and the first time was my first time and we were in love and I have no regrets. I was only 16 and I would advise my dd to wait until she found THE one. Or at least until she was sure she loved him.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/08/2006 22:45

Not a positive experience for me. Was 15. Had gone to this guys house to smoke. Didnt realise he kept rolling and passing and not smoking any till too late.

Was so stoned I couldnt move or speak. Had no say in the matter. Just lay watching the weather on the telly. Couldnt have lasted all that long I guess. Being stoned though it seemed to last for ages. I think he thought he was being a "gentleman" by helping me home after.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/08/2006 22:46

He was 19 or 20 i think. If that matters.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/08/2006 23:08

LOL! I always kill these threads...

koshka1984 · 12/08/2006 23:24

i was 16 to the landlords son of my local pub...romantic!
i really liked him but just wanted to get the sex thing over with. there wasnt any peer pressure but just never really been fussed about sex.
had quite a few partners since and now met my DP and have a baby so hopefully my wild days are over, but am only 22 so more than likely not as i have no illusions!

Amanda1 · 12/08/2006 23:25

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/08/2006 23:29

Sorry Amanda, am pmsl at the last sentence of your post...

bobsmum · 12/08/2006 23:33

Was 23, wedding night with dh, also his first time. Had the most romantic and wonderful night of my life up until that point. Have had many more romantic and wonderful nights since. Dh and I will be married 7 years next Monday and I love him more now than I did that day - sigh

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 12/08/2006 23:37

Mine wasn't a positive at all I'm afraid. Shortened version. I was 19, living in Zimbabwe. Male friend of a friend came round to call for her, she was out so I went out with him and his friends to a party. Got hidiously drunk, although TBH I'm not sure if my drinks weren't spiked as I didn't drink that much (not compared to what I drank at most parties out there ). On the way back home to my place vaguely remember telling him I wanted to sleep with him, started getting cold feet when we stopped off at a 24hr pharmacy (still can't believe they had them in Zim!) to get condoms. Got back to my place, told him I didn't want to, he persauded me to, woke twice more in a drunken stupour to do it again and woke up the next morning really regretting it .

Then went on a bit of a 'sleeping' spree with 3 other blokes (no one night stands I may add and none at the same time as each other ) - which were thankfully all very positive experiences. Met DH and we shagged endlessly for the first year we were together !

Still really regret that first time, occasionaly wonder if my drinks were spiked/drugged/whatever. But have moved on and can live with it.

Amanda1 · 12/08/2006 23:37

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Amanda1 · 12/08/2006 23:37

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