Miffed, angry...more than a little peeved - child unfriendly work policy

[handlemecarefully]

The hospital where I work is hard pressed for parking. So from 1st May they are implementing a blanket policy whereby all staff will be barred from parking on site for one day a week. On the day they can't park on site they are expected to use a park and ride (i.e. drive to outskirts of the city in question and then take the mini bus from there to work).

I don't particularly have a problem with this in principle, but - we have an on site day nursery for staff.....and staff users of that on site day nursery (i.e. includes me)are not granted an exemption. So effectively what they are asking me (and others) to do is drive to the outskirts of the city and then take our children (in my case when I return from mat leave in October a 6 month old baby and a just turned 2 year old)on the bus a couple of miles to the Hospital where we can plonk them in the on site Nursery and then start work. Well, I can't be fitting a 1st stage and 2nd stage car seat on the frigging bus morning and evening (and then refitting it in my car to do the final leg home)...its totally impractical..and I really don't think the rest of the workers on the bus will be too patient waiting whilst I spend 20 minutes faffing around with car seats. Heaven only knows where I am to stow the car seats when I get to work too, and how I am to carry 2 children plus 2 car seats from the bus to the entrance of the Day Nursery on arrival. I think there is a good case for staff users of the on site Day Nursery to be exempt from this policy.

When this issue was raised with our staff side representative ( a woman but a childless woman) she "Didn't see the issue"....Apparently she has seen "Lots of women using the number 10 bus with their tiny tots without using car seats". Now that really got my %$£"! blood boiling....I don't care what some other mums do - if they want to (sorry if I offend) risk their children that's up to them, but the hospital can't require me to risk my children (that's a very personal choice) and I would no more take them on a bus where I can't secure them in a proper car seat than fly to the frigging moon. Infant car seats aren't for merely decorative value or a fashion accessory - there to save lives aren't they???

What do you think of this? - and do any of you have any accident statistics I can quote about infant morbidity and mortality pre the introduction of child car seats?

(And if you happen to agree with the hospital and don't think on site nursery users should be granted an exemption, could you put it tactfully...because I am pregnant and hormonal at the moment and my bp needs to be kept stable)

In 2001 there were 10 deaths on buses and 1749 in cars.

So says the HSE here

miggy's suggestion sounds like a good option for if there is no chance of changing your employers minds. Is there a residential area close to where you work handlemecarefully? (Though, have to say It'd gall me to have to give in over something like this! )

Thought it would be something like that CD. hmc I don't think you'll win your manager round on a safety argument. What do the other mum's think? It's always better to complain as a group if you want to change something (says the original mother from hell- mothers from hell is more successful).

Levanna,

I might just go for Miggy's suggestion. Me thinks appealing through the local press for local residents to volunteer their drives for working mums at the hospital who need to use the Day Nursery might just be quite embarrassing for the hospital too....

Or I might just resign.

Thanks for your support on this Levanna

hmc I don't mean to seem unsupportive of your situation, of course I realise that it will be hard for you doing all that humping around esp when preg. Sorry am a bit pissed tonight which always makes me more confrontational. I do feel strongly about public transport not being used enough and that people take their cars for granted even when sober though! xx

talk to the other mums first though hmc. Honestly you're much more likely to get results if you complain as a group.

handlemecarefully, I like your style! Go for the local press, never fails

Countessdracula, an awful lot of public transport is crap, quite frankly, which is why people don't want to use it. I'd resign in your position handlemecarefully. I can't go with the safety argument but can go with this being a totally ridiculous inconvenience when life getting to work with 2 small children is already pretty damn inconvenient.

EP I agree but in this case it is being laid on, directly from car park to work. That is not crap.

There is an enormous difference between a mini-bus and a regular sized city bus. The former is half the size of the latter and personally I would not have my kids (or myself) in a mini-bus without a seatbelt. But I would have them on a city bus as it is larger, travels more slowly and is less likely to flip over in an accident. It does seem like the policy hasn't been very carefully thought out, but you do have various choices (as outlined by others). How about only working 4 days a week? You may want to do that (if you can financially) anyway with 2 kids to look after. You are pretty lucky to have both an on site nursery AND parking. I have to drive my children to a childminder in one direction and then drive to work in the opposite direction where I pay the council £450 a year for a business parking permit. And I can almost guarantee that I make less than you do (even bus drivers make more than architects). That's not to say that you shouldn't be upset, but I suspect that your energies will be wasted trying to change the policy. Use them instead to find an alternative. Can you change jobs?

Message withdrawn

Can you arrange to collect a pal from work (who usually uses a car but has no kids) on your (and her) exempt day and use her entitlement. That way you'll still get to use your car every day and she will get a lift to work and won't have to battle with all the other mums and dads and school kids and babies and car seats on the bus. Plus you won't be putting the car park under strain because her car would have been there anyway.

There was a very intersting article in the Times about the way Child Free people are effectively discrimiated against in the work place. Obviously this depends on the company concerned but examples given were when they were turned down for flexible working arrangements, are restricted when they can take their holidays, have to cover for parents looking after sick children or stuck inschool run traffic, don't get an equivalent to paternity/maternity leave... TBH I think they have a point to a certain extent. It's not fair. Why should they be penalised in this way for choosing to not have children? Anyway...

I'm kind of playing devil's advocate here because of course, as a parent, I can see how it would be difficult to take 2 small children on a mini bus. (there is a difference between a proper bus and a mini bus) But, why should you be entitled to park on site simply because you've chosen to have children and someone who has chosen not to has to use a park and ride? There may be reasons why a Child Free person would find the park and ride just as difficult as you (not sure what!). I'm sure there are alternatives like contacting local residents or a car share policy.

As someone who's had to sprint for 10 minutes with a 2 week old baby to get to a hospital appointment on time, I can certainly sympathise with parking problems at hospitals.

Think it sounds a little shortsighted hmc, and certainly not very employee friendly. What about dropping the children off before going to the park & ride (sorry, very unconfrontational I know, but that's how I'm feeling right now!).

bloss - Oxford is the only city/place I've been since ds was born where I have repeatedly seen people with buggies being refused access onto a bus. Coming from London it really shocked me.

Child free people are only descriminated against in the same way non-smokers are IMO. In 2 firms I've worked for there have been smoking provisions (all places have implemented a "no smoking" policy within the office but have allocated a room purely for smokers and of course that also brings into play the time off for smoke breaks. I now work for a very small firm and 2 of the employees take very regular smoke breaks albeit outside.

"discriminated" even

i'm always a bit mystified by why people resent smoke breaks. some of the people in my office who smoke are also the highest performers and extremely productive... i suppose it depends what kind of job you have.

what irritates me a bit is going out for 20 mins to get a huge coffee round.

I have to say I'd never even thought of car seats on a bus. DD2 goes in her buggy and dd1 sits. And I'm afraid if I have to stand away from dd1 to hang onto the buggy (which I do because it doesn't seem very stable) dd1 has to hang on for herself. Oh, and I'm frequently turned away from the bus if there are 3 buggies already on.

I do also thing that work/life discussions should be opened up beyond parents, myself.

Could you drop your chldren off at the nursery first and then park the car? Likewise, pick up the car earlier in the evening before picking up your children?

Oops, Fisil already suggested that.

I haven't read the whole thread but I have an idea of a solution...

Could all the mums who use the nursery sit down and work out some sort of rota so that the parents with a parking space could pick up a parent without a space that day and take the + children to work? effectively car sharing.

Surely all the working parents won't be benned from using the car park on the same day?!

FWIW though, I think the whole idea is bloody ridiculous.

Maybe try out the bus one day when you are not working to see how you will manage (ie bag + baby + buggy + toddler). The buses near me are not the low rider ones so I had to take dd out and carry her and the buggy on the bus. I was surprised at how helpful people were though - most times someone offers to put the buggy on for me (this may just be friendly northeners however ).

She also LOVES going on the bus, pointing and shouting at dogs/cars/trees etc. Like an adventure.

Not worth resigning over surely, although I do sympathise.

HMC I would try writing a formal letter to someone high up stressing the case for exemption for employees with specific mobility problems, including having to lug two pre-schoolers and their bags around, also including other disabilities (so it's not just a parent issue). you could include the fact that the workplace creche is a big plus for employees and the sort of thing that makes people want to stay working there.

I do take my dds on the bus, but not in rush hour to nursery. I never drive to work except when taking dds to the workplace creche and would just find it impossible to use the creche otherwise, especially with two children. I think you would have a very good case for exemptions.