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I shall miss you, I shall kiss you, but I think it's time to go...well, actually only for two weeks but do you think PLEASE Mumsnet could be a bit less damn sanctimonious a place on my return?

283 replies

motherinferior · 31/07/2006 17:52

And PLEASE don't tell me (a) you don't know what I'm on about (b) I'm taking it all too seriously (c)nobody can make me feel bad, it's all my fault.

Look, I came to MN and stayed here and loved it here precisely because it was full of funny, articulate, fallible parents who supported each other and genially accepted that perfection was both unattainable and probably undesirable. Yes, of course there were heated subjects: epidurals, Caesarians, Certain Childcare Practitioners Who Shall Not Be Named, controlled crying, work outside the home, breastfeeding...yep, you name it. But you could also post cheerily on a thread lamenting your own hopelessness, and in fact compete to see who was more hopeless - along with the invaluable support for different birth choices and feeding choices and educational choices and so on.

I feel - and I know I'm not alone, because several people have posted to that effect - that there's now a strong flavour of Perfection Being The Best Option. I simply can't. I am judgemental, of course I am, but I'm not prepared to say that anyone who feeds their child a fruit shoot or leaves them an extra half hour at after school club or puts a bit of pasta in a jar (that'll be me, then) is failing the test.

MN continues to be an enormous source of support for many of us. I'd hate to leave permanently. But I can't, and I won't, measure up to those standards of perfection. And if those are the rules I just don't want to play.

OP posts:
JessaJam · 01/08/2006 10:13

I seem to have managed to miss the 'drama' over fruit shoots and formula...but hope Blu and moondog don't stay away.

Agree with Cappucino, worry that fear of upsetting people/being sanctimonious will prevent proper open honest debate.
Likewise worry that sometimes it can feel as if some posters are being rounded upon and beaten with a big stick (and ok sometimes maybe they 'deserve' it!)

Ultimately put it down to MN being a huge group of people from widely varying backgrounds and belief systems and experiences and you wouldn't expect a group of 10 random people shoved in a room together to all get along with each other, so why expect 50000 to get along swimmingly?

WaitingForGodKnows · 01/08/2006 10:14

There would be less danger of that happening if every thread with a 'nasty and snide' posting didn't spawn a thousand mini-threads (and sometimes not-so-mini threads) discussing how awful it all is and isn't MN going to the dogs and didn't it used to be so much nicer and all my favourite people are leaving and...ad infinitum.

Surely?

dinosaur · 01/08/2006 10:16

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Enid · 01/08/2006 10:17

have a great holiday x

WaitingForGodKnows · 01/08/2006 10:18

Really, dino? This post-mortem stuff happens so often on MN - isn't it just kinda dull?

dinosaur · 01/08/2006 10:19

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MrsBadcrumble · 01/08/2006 10:19

Spot on MI.
I mean, we all have opinions and our own standards etc, but thee's been a distinct lack of imagination on here recently about other people's circumstances and trade-offs and ethics.
The fruit shoot thread was a prime example.
I don't think MI meant this as a thinly-veiled dig at anyone in particular, but maybe as a bit of a plea to some of you to think outside your own lives for a bit.
I agree with KR that losing aloha, blu and maybe MI will make MN a lesser place. It's no insult to anyone else, it's just numbers. A site with plenty of people who can generally and intelligently cut through the het-up-ed-ness about our own personal hobby-horses (of which I am guilty too, eh Cappucino ) is always going to be better than a site with endless threads about 'beanies'.

WaitingForGodKnows · 01/08/2006 10:21

Oh, well. You're probably right. I just don't see what all of this solves, really.

Perhaps I should just get back to perfecting my parenting, off the board, of course

Tutter · 01/08/2006 10:30

wfgk - i'm with you - can't be bothered to re-tpe me post, but in essence it says the same thing

Cappucino · 01/08/2006 10:35

who are you MrsBadcrumble?

you seem to know me....

expatinscotland · 01/08/2006 10:36

MBD was Pruni, Cap.

MrsBadcrumble · 01/08/2006 10:37

I am Pruni. We had that ruck about church schools.
(Sorry forgot about name change)
I think I was on my highest horse that evening...

Cappucino · 01/08/2006 10:38

you know I nearly typed 'is it Pruni'

Cappucino · 01/08/2006 10:39

like the new name better btw, good choice

dinosaur · 01/08/2006 10:39

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MrsBadcrumble · 01/08/2006 10:41

I don't even have a child in school.....

Cappucino · 01/08/2006 10:42

arf MrsBC

TambaIsBadBadBad · 01/08/2006 10:44

I would comment but I cant remmeber what 'sactimonious' means!

dinosaur · 01/08/2006 10:45

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MrsBadcrumble · 01/08/2006 10:49
Grin
SminkoPinko · 01/08/2006 11:01

Can't they just, dino?

dinosaur · 01/08/2006 11:06

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bundle · 01/08/2006 11:33

has this thing kicked off yet?

joelallie · 01/08/2006 11:42

Very true Dino. That damned reality......

dinosaur · 01/08/2006 11:47

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