I shall miss you, I shall kiss you, but I think it's time to go...well, actually only for two weeks but do you think PLEASE Mumsnet could be a bit less damn sanctimonious a place on my return?

[motherinferior]

And PLEASE don't tell me (a) you don't know what I'm on about (b) I'm taking it all too seriously (c)nobody can make me feel bad, it's all my fault.

Look, I came to MN and stayed here and loved it here precisely because it was full of funny, articulate, fallible parents who supported each other and genially accepted that perfection was both unattainable and probably undesirable. Yes, of course there were heated subjects: epidurals, Caesarians, Certain Childcare Practitioners Who Shall Not Be Named, controlled crying, work outside the home, breastfeeding...yep, you name it. But you could also post cheerily on a thread lamenting your own hopelessness, and in fact compete to see who was more hopeless - along with the invaluable support for different birth choices and feeding choices and educational choices and so on.

I feel - and I know I'm not alone, because several people have posted to that effect - that there's now a strong flavour of Perfection Being The Best Option. I simply can't. I am judgemental, of course I am, but I'm not prepared to say that anyone who feeds their child a fruit shoot or leaves them an extra half hour at after school club or puts a bit of pasta in a jar (that'll be me, then) is failing the test.

MN continues to be an enormous source of support for many of us. I'd hate to leave permanently. But I can't, and I won't, measure up to those standards of perfection. And if those are the rules I just don't want to play.

TBH i had avoided the whole formula/junk debacle. Having read a little of it now, I can kind of see where people are coming from.

I didn't see that expat thanks. Blu would be a real loss to MN - she is always the voice of reason.

Yes agree FOTM. I have 3 very different children, who need and require (and recieve) 3 very different approaches. A lets talk about everything and wishy washy think about your feelings approach to ds1 would be cruel in the extreme. The very behavioural appraoch I use with ds1 would be too full on for ds2 and ds3.

If I have 3 very different children needing 3 very different approaches, despite living under the same roof, then there must be 1000s of different techniques needed for children in there many cicrumstances. I like hearing about different approaches, do not like being told that one approach the holy grail of child rearing and all other approaches are wrong.

Also any approach has to be right for the parent, and the other stuff they are delaing with in their life. Sometimes they may fall sort of perfect because of that other stuff.

ahem their, not there

oh god, this is the problem

everyone is discussing now

no-one is asking anyone to hide their opinions or to 'dumb down' their parenting

just have some fun, for crap's sake

I for one am sick of reading judging threads or people being hilariously catty about other people's diets

I want to read people saying hilarious things about tablecloths because, for christ's sake, I come on here for a teabreak from parenting not a seminar about it

(and ks, seriously, 'oop north'? wtf? have you ever ever heard a northerner pronounce it like that? is it southern patois? and wasn't asking for rose at that period in history just a little bit up your own quinoa?)

oh god, this is the problem

everyone is discussing now

no-one is asking anyone to hide their opinions or to 'dumb down' their parenting

just have some fun, for crap's sake

I for one am sick of reading judging threads or people being hilariously catty about other people's diets

I want to read people saying hilarious things about tablecloths because, for christ's sake, I come on here for a teabreak from parenting not a seminar about it

(and ks, seriously, 'oop north'? wtf? have you ever ever heard a northerner pronounce it like that? is it southern patois? and wasn't asking for rose at that period in history just a little bit up your own quinoa?)

I always think of Blu as "the voice of reason" KR as well.

obviously I felt so strongly about this I posted twice

well you made me laugh (twice) cap.

I'll miss you too MI, but I don't do touchy-feely and certainly not kissing. So I'll thump you purposefully on the back and say 'Bon vacances'

Huw (aka Feistybird)

You can always just completely ignore those people who are obnoxious. It makes it easier to deal with if you feel you can simply discount what they are saying.

spot on MI, I absolutely agree.

It's not the having or arguing the strong views which is sanctimonious, it's the seeming lack of awareness that other parents might have more pressured lives or fewer options or less energy or money. or less perfect children even. and don't need to be made to feel bad about it.

well, I for one like to be an old curmudgeon on here and sanctimonious on occasion to boot! How else can i be all sweetness & light in RL otherwise??

I'm with you too MI and Dino and have felt this way for a while...but now I just let it wash over me.......... I don't even usually get involved because it makes me very upset and I'd just prefer to take the good bits from MN.

I think its something different from a good heated debate or differing views which are fab and necessary. For me its something about the tone. Dino is right, its the 'processed meat is industrial slurry' sort of thing that gets right on my tits tbh. And the chav baiting.

has anyone actually said feeding your child jars is tantamount to child abuse? Genuinely interested!

yes, someone did, ruty, although it was a long-time member who in all honesty doesn't take things very seriously.

oh b*llocks - I think I was sucked into theis thread in error - I don't give fig about sanctimonious parenting.

I was drawn in by batters comment "There seems to be the real possibility on MN that all the clever, funny, intelligent and ultimately friendly posts are going to be drowned out by nasty and snide ones"

I want more wit, humour and intelligence on MN and less nasty, bitchy stuff.

Thank you

Am like tigermoth - not sure I feel passionate about any aspect of parenting. Might do if want a row but not really, am a huge hypocrite.

Let the sanctimonious threads wash over me really.