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Original poster

Help needed from clever wordsmiths please!

74 replies

marthamoo · 03/03/2004 09:39

This is on behalf of my brother! He is doing the wedding invitations for his friend and has done the formal bit "request the pleasure of" blablah. They aren't having a wedding list as such, but want to include a little card with words to the effect that while all they want really is for people to come and share their special day IF people want to get a gift they would like vouchers from X and Y.

I'm a bit stuck...maybe something along the lines of:

Eric and Ermintrude just want you to come and be a part of their special day but if you would like to..[and that's where I'm stuck!]

It's hard to word - it's like "we don't want presents (well, of course we do, everyone likes pressies, but it's a bit cheeky as we've been living together for years) but we know you'll probably want to get us one so in that case we'd like vouchers from X&Y"

Better wording ideas please!

OP posts:
littlerach · 03/03/2004 09:43

We didn't really have a wedding list, just a few bits and pieces and then vouchers. We used a separate piece of paper in the envelope, so that it wasn't too obvious!! Most people were pleased that we wanted vouchers, as it was easier to buy.

katierocket · 03/03/2004 09:46

I think you can only be straight.

"...but if you feel you would like to buy them a present then they would be more than happy with vouchers from XY"

carla · 03/03/2004 09:47

In my own experience, and we were kind of in the same situation, we didn't put a wish list in at all. Consequently, people 'phoned us and asked us what we would like. We really didn't want anything, and told them so, but people are generally quite keen on getting something you'd like, so do you think he could try that route?

Davros · 03/03/2004 11:59

Agree with Carla. We had lived together and my husband had been married before but it was still our wedding.... People just phoned us to ask or asked my mum and we did have a wedding list at a dept store which most people used (the presents from the few who didn't were mostly yuck!). Presumably you're not inviting 100s of people in which case it would be difficult to rely on the phoning scenario. If you do put a note in I would keep it simple, trying to dress it up is too difficult, "if you wish to give Eric and Ermintrude a weddinmg gift, please visit www or phone..."

iota · 03/03/2004 12:03

Friends of mine put on the invitation:-

"No presents just your presence"

Doesn't help with the voucher scenario though

WideWebWitch · 03/03/2004 12:20

I agree, you could say "Eric and don't have a wedding list and are more interesting in your prescence rather than presents but if you would like to buy them something then Mothercare vouchers much appreciated. I put something similar on our wedding invite - it said somethng like "no wedding list but babysitting vouchers gratefully accepted " and people rang to ask where they could buy them! I actually meant "if you want to babysit sometime, that would be nice"

jimmychoos · 03/03/2004 12:25

Friends of mine have put something along the lines of

"We have no wedding list but we do have a 'wish list' at xx and yy , so if you would like to buy us something any contributions in the form of vouchers would be wonderful."

Thomcat · 03/03/2004 12:28

I think something along the lines of Katierockets.

SueW · 03/03/2004 17:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

MrsCodswallop · 03/03/2004 18:00

I think it is impolite to mention presents ina n invitaion and you should wait unitl people offer.

eddm · 03/03/2004 18:15

agree Mrs Codswallop but everyone does it these days. All my friends seem to enclose slips saying where their wedding list is (and we did too) so why not a slip saying: 'We don't have a wedding list but if you really want to buy us something to mark the day, then vouchers from X would be lovely.'?

MrsCodswallop · 03/03/2004 18:16

we waited for the ofers then the problem is solved because if your brother waits andpeople ask him he can say vouchers would be lovely.

Why dont hey just have a wedding list? dont some stores allow for voucher purchase?

katierocket · 03/03/2004 18:40

disagree cods - many people like to know where they stand with wedding presents (personally I hate wedding lists but that's a different thread).
I think that brother could also end up fielding tons of calls depending on size of wedding.

slug · 03/03/2004 20:22

We told anyone who asked us what we wanted that for John Lewis vouchers would be much appreciated so that everyone could contribute to a washer/dryer. We made a point of telling our friends that it wasn't necessary, but if they wanted to contribute, even the smallest amount would help. That way even unemployed friends contributed £5 and felt they were getting us something we really needed. In the end we got something that would be out of the price range of any single one of our guests, was something we really wanted, and everyone felt happy contributing to.

slug · 03/03/2004 20:22

Hmmm, overuse of the word contribute there

sis · 03/03/2004 20:30

A friend asked for vouchers and made it clear that vouchers should be sent to the best man who would give the whole lot to bride and groom so people wouldn't feel uncomfortable about comparisons of who gave how much as only the 'givers' and best man would know and he was sworn never to reveal. Sorry, it was a few years ago so can't help with the wording as I can't remember what it was.

SoupDragon · 03/03/2004 20:36

I agree with Coddy. We didn't send details of our wedding list out until people had accepted the invitation. The little card was sent with maps and other info for the day and this seemes to be true for most of the weddings we've been to.

"We do not have a wedding list as we have been living together for X but should you wish to buy a gift, we would welcome vouchers from Y to put towards the purchase of Z"

I feel it's kind of nice to give people an idea of what the vouchers are going towards (posh dinner service, crystal, hang gliding kit, whatever.) I got invited to a wedding once where the couple wanted a boat! You nominated which part of the boat you would like to purchase (seat, oar, those bits your feet slot into) and sent the appropriate amount.

mothernature · 03/03/2004 20:40

For gift vouchers you could write a card like the example below:
(your name) & (your partner's name)
(date of wedding)
Have decided not to hold a wedding list
(for various reasons).
However should you wish to buy them a gift
they would be very grateful for
John Lewis/Alders vouchers.

or how about a wedding account @ your bank, give the account number to your guests who wish to contribute..

PipBeckett · 03/03/2004 20:52

I agree with SoupDragon. If you have something in mind to spend the vouchers on then it seems less cheeky. All our guests contributed to fitted bedroom furniture as we'd been living together for two years and you only need one toaster/kettle etc.

Original poster
marthamoo · 03/03/2004 21:06

He went with "All we want is for you to enjoy our special day with us but if you feel you would like to get us something then we would be more than happy with vouchers from X and Y. Eric and Ermintrude"

I think the way dh and I did it was best - left work on Friday, got wed on Saturday, back in work Monday morning with wedding rings in place. No pressies, no lists, no guests, no bother

Do like your idea, sis, as I always hate being asked for vouchers - you feel obliged to spend more so you don't look stingy!

OP posts:
aloha · 03/03/2004 21:43

I think if you accept a wedding invite and are happy to nosh and guzzle at other people's expense then I think buying a gift is part of the deal nowadays. I like KatieRocket's wording best.
I don't think it's at all cheeky to want presents just because you've been living together. A wedding's a wedding - unless you've got married six times in the last six years and people are fed up with it.

aloha · 03/03/2004 21:44

Oops, I was too late. Good wording though. Strange names for the bride and groom though

Original poster
marthamoo · 03/03/2004 21:44

They are unusual aren't they ?

OP posts:
drasticmeasure · 04/03/2004 00:21

am I the only one who thinks it is a bit cheeky to ask for specified gifts (whether from a list or vouchers)at all, even in a kind of we don't really want them but if you insist way?
I have alwaysthought wedding lists to be in appalling taste b ut hey what do I know?!
We specified no gifts at our wedding. I know some thought that was a bit odd though.

Davros · 04/03/2004 07:48

I agree that mentioning the gifts with the invitation is a bit bad taste. But the reality is that people will want to buy presents, its a celebration and it is fairly usual to give a gift at a wedding. personally I wouldn't put anyting in with the invitation and expect people to ask, I would. I don't see why anyone should feel uncomfortable about getting gifts, especially if you're happy to give them.

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