engagement ring

[lumpyprincess]

Im looking for some advice please, i recently git engaged to my boyfriend of 18 months. I was over the moon until i saw the ring. The ring is beautiful but i know he brought it a year before we got together. I found this ring in his draw while putting away his things and i found a little bag, curiosity got the better of me and the ring and receipt was inside. I never said what i found as it was before we were together but now i feel strange that he has given me a ring that he brought before we were together. Am i being stupid and just be happy or bring it up with him?

I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign, but I can also imagine that it might be a little ... not that great on his part.

However, I would worry that this is an issue that could fester if you leave it -- will it always be on the tip of your tongue to bring it up in an argument? I feel that being frank and honest with your partner is really important in a strong relationship. So my instinct, I think, would be to gently and calmly bring the subject up and ask him about it (yes, admitting you went through his things). Hopefully the two of you will then resolve it satisfactorily and you can enjoy many years of happy marriage!

I for one started planning my wedding before I met my future husband. :)

Totally agree with Rhododendron.

I agree with the above, and the problem is you have to own up to snooping if you want a ring bought with you in mind!

Was he engaged or in a LTR before meeting you?

I would have to fess up to having a snoop and knowing the ring wasn't bought with me in mind.

Marriage is hard going enough without niggles and gripes before the I do bit.

Yes, you are going to have to talk to him about it.

Thank you all. I know he was in a relationship around the time he brought the ring and it doesn't upset me that he's got a ring for someone else. I've been married before. Its just the thought he may have brought it for someone else. Its funny because i don't snoop, its just by chance i was putting his clean underwear in his draw and saw a jewellery bag. I know i shouldn't have looked but i couldn't help myself. I'm not angry just a little disappointed being really honest.

More worrying that you are not sure if he was previously engaged! I would def talk to him you'l butter if you dont

I know he has been engaged before but I never asked if he was engaged to the lady, when he brought the ring.
We have spoke about it now and he brought the ring as he liked it and didn't have anyone in mind then he brought it. He was very honest with me about it and I'm glad I brought it up. So big thank you for the advice! :-)

I'm glad you've discussed it & you're happy with the situation, although I must admit that I've never heard of a bloke buying an engagement ring just because he liked it.

He's not your average bloke. All he's ever wanted is to be married with kids. I don't believe he's lying about it as he's been very open about his past before. I know the time he brought the ring he was with someone but he never said they were engaged and he told me he never asked her.

I wouldn't believe that story.
If you want to believe it fair enough but who buys a ring like that for no reason?

I know another guy that has brought a ring and he's not in a relationship. He always believed someone special will come along and said he'd rather buy the ring now when he has the money before the woman spends it all.
All that matters is I believe him.

You're right, all that matters is that you believe him. I did just ask my DH & he said one of his friends years ago bought a ring when he wasn't with anyone as he liked it & wanted to be prepared! Guess it's more common than I've ever thought

He'd rather buy a ring now while he has the money before the woman spends it all.

Seriously?

Is it like Cinderella where only the finger that fits the ring perfectly gets to marry the Prince