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Original poster

If you are a SAHM, how do you stop yourself from hating your life?

63 replies

hunkermunker · 20/07/2006 11:33

Anyone else at home, loathing it, no money and no chance of a holiday now or for the foreseeable future?

I am.

Shit, isn't it?

Going out now.

Which is a good thing or I'd type something I'd regret.

How the fuck do you stop your brain from turning into fucking soup if you're at home with a 2yo and a baby?!

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 20/07/2006 11:34

Aw darling, do you want to come down for lunch ??

Gobbledigook · 20/07/2006 11:34

Hunker, you have a young baby and it's hard. It will get better, honestly.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 20/07/2006 11:36

I can't. I can't drive that far with them both in the car without crashing into something.

DS2 loathes being in the car.

I'm going out now - I'll be fine. I just have...moments.

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 20/07/2006 11:36

Oh Ok.

Shall I arrange to come to you in the hols ?

Feistybird · 20/07/2006 11:37

Dunno HM, but I was convinced that this would be how I would feel if I'd been a SAHM. Sorry, I'm not trying to be smug, you have my deep felt sympathies.

OTOH, I spend a lot of time feeling guilty that I never had it in me to be at home with my DDs for what is a relatively short time in their lives.

Original poster
hunkermunker · 20/07/2006 11:38

I have my mum telling me she never had a break either.

But they had money. They had a bigger house. They had holidays. They went out for meals.

And she didn't have PND.

Oh fuck it. I'm fucking late now.

Fuck.

I have two beautiful boys, I should be grateful for them.

But I need to sleep. I need to lie down. I need to eat a meal without changing a shitty nappy halfway through it.

Selfish, aren't I?

Fuck.

I'm going out.

OP posts:
Enid · 20/07/2006 11:38

I felt like this yesterday afternoon

suddenly returning to work seemed v attractive

no advice but sympathy

good idea to get out of house

have you a friend you can palm the 2 year old off with?

having one less makes all the difference

x Enid

hermykne · 20/07/2006 11:38

hunker i was like that too in those early days
go to sherlocks!
you'd could come to mine but we live miles away.

you'll enjoy it soon , its a transistional phase
and patience is what we need
i had to reevaluate myself and change gear/approach etc
hth

Original poster
hunkermunker · 20/07/2006 11:38

Did I say fuck enough there?!

Fuck.

OP posts:
Scoobydooooo · 20/07/2006 11:39

Oh i will join you, shit day here too & there is no chance i can go out.....

try & keep your chin up some days are so crap...

Enid · 20/07/2006 11:39

do you have proper diagnosed PND (sorry have missed most developments due to baby)? I remember you were low a while ago. Are you taking meds?

Scoobydooooo · 20/07/2006 11:41

Blimey what you have just written about what your mother says is exactly what mine says, she was lucky though, they had money a nanny & she went out for dinner every bloody nigh, she had a massive house & went on holiday about 10 times a year.

I need a break today but no chance of getting one, at least your off out thats a start do you have a friend how could help you for a couple of hours so you could get some sleep?

SherlockLGJ · 20/07/2006 11:42

Hunker

I will ring you later with diary in hand and we will sort something,, along with QV

I will do a posh picnic and shock horror I will bring a glass of wine for us all, well the grown ups.

Enid · 20/07/2006 11:42

my mum and MIL love to crow aobut how they 'did it all themselves'

but my mum went mad and my MIL sent them to boarding school at 8

great

ComeOVeneer · 20/07/2006 11:43

Sorry to here you are having a bad time of it again atm. Would you like us to come and visit you? Pehaps bring a picnic and go to a local park let the older ones let of a little steam. It is dd's last day of school today so I have 8 long weeks looming.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 20/07/2006 11:43

Oh hunker

I dont think its about being a SAHM is it?

You need some serious rest, and sleep. Its been a bit of a bumpy week, nay month for you.

Weather is making EVERYONE feel pants - especially children.

Housework is shit, its true. Being stuck indoors in this weather/with this weather is shit too. Dont be too hard on yourself.

Will see you soon.

xxxx

SherlockLGJ · 20/07/2006 11:43

COV you mind reader, just about to nudge you on MSN.

ComeOVeneer · 20/07/2006 11:44

Ah... Sherlock beat me to it (and her's sounds more sophisticated than mine ).

SherlockLGJ · 20/07/2006 11:47

Right I am off to do my house, you would need a tetanus to step over the doorstep.

Hunker I will call you later, and we can talk diaries, then I will liase with COV and QV.

motherinferior · 20/07/2006 11:49

So they 'did it all themselves' well whoop-de-do, I bet they're ahem slightly exaggerating the truth anyway.

Hunker, I used absolutely to dread my Fridays off with v small DD2 and two year old DD1. It's so exhausting you feel you're wrapped in a huge blanket, don't you. I so so so sympathise. You poor love.

niceglasses · 20/07/2006 11:50

Am at home with 2yr old and nearly 4yr old who wont go to schl till next yr as Oct bday. And 1 in reception. Feel guilty for that thought filling me with dread. Have decided I am catatonically bored atm and am going to get p/t job and investigate childcare etc. Really, I think I will be better mother for some time away and doing something other than think Whatsfortea,wotsfordinner,whereisthatblahblah,canifacethebloodyparkAGAIN,..................

ComeOVeneer · 20/07/2006 11:53

I agree about the time away helping loads. I am a SAHM tues-fri but monday I go into the world of the adults just for a few (blissful) hours. It just gives me that breathing space to recharge my "mummy" battery to face the following few days.

niceglasses · 20/07/2006 11:54

Sorry, that was a bit me me me. I bet yours is compounded by lack of sleep and PND. Can you find a way to just arrange a couple of short blocks - maybe and hour or so- in the next week where you are kid free? I find that if I even have the smallest break to look forward to, it lifts my spirits a bit.

Other than that, wine every day around tea time, washes the 'I want to slit my wrists' vibes out to sea slightly.........

VeniVidiVickiQV · 20/07/2006 11:57

Oh yes, i think we are all destined to one day say to our children "It is hard, but I only had one arm to do what you do, AND i was mental" or something.

My mum regularly does the same. Conveniently forgets her mum lived in with her Mon-Fri most weeks and some weekends too. What she does remember, is that she had no car, no washing machine, more children etc etc etc.

Pay no attention. Memory fades so much more when you become a parent. Next time they suggest that they have done it better - take the opportunity to make them show you how

oliveoil · 20/07/2006 11:57

I have 22 months between mine and felt like a useless quivering wreck for 5 months or so after dd2 was born.

But looking back I did a damn good job and so are you, you just can't see the wood for the trees atm.

It can be boring and shit. And you spend alllll day pandering to other people. And then dh would walk in complaining of a hard day and you want to thump them.

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