If you are a SAHM, how do you stop yourself from hating your life?

[hunkermunker]

Anyone else at home, loathing it, no money and no chance of a holiday now or for the foreseeable future?

I am.

Shit, isn't it?

Going out now.

Which is a good thing or I'd type something I'd regret.

How the fuck do you stop your brain from turning into fucking soup if you're at home with a 2yo and a baby?!

Hunker .. put it down to hormones ... hold on to the good moments

come and see me .. or I'll come and see you

you use a network of friends to get time off too

it gets better and easier

hello hunker, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, I hope getting out of the house has made the world seem a better place x

I just want to add to Soupys moan about mealtimes. I am very seriously considering making some sort of recording of me saying.

Please sit down XXXX
Sit down and eat please
Eat some vegetables
Can you eat some more please
Please sit down
If you don't eat some more there is no pud
Use a fork/spoon pls
Don't spill your drink
Sit the down (internalised swearing)

IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Didn't mean to press 'post' twice, but meant to add this - in answer to your actual title question, most of the time I don't hate it because my daughter is absolutely hilarious a lot of the time, which counts for a lot. I try to keep that in mind when I'm feeling like the world's falling apart. Good luck.

What a wonderfully refreshing thread this is. It's great to read that I am not the only one struggling with the SAHM thing. I know that I am the luckiest woman in the world - lovely dh, 2 gorgeous little boys, fabulous house, no money worries but I still find it hard. It's boring sometimes. There. I've said it. And it's hard alot of the time too. Nappies galore, sleepless nights and trying to balance the very differing interests of ds1 and ds2. And no prospect of a break from it all either.

However, it's a million times easier than when ds2 was 4 months old and a billion times easier than when he was 2 months old. My advice would be not to look too far ahead. Just concentrate on getting through the day. I have been known to have a glass of wine while I'm making their tea to stop me from getting in the car and driving off. As time goes on it doesn't all seem quite so depressing and it's less like groundhog day. I have accepted that (cute as they are) I just don't enjoy newborn babies. I love it when they get to about 9 months /a year.

The only time I have really hated being a mother was when DS#1 was 2 and DD was newborn. Every attempt to get out of the house was a nightmare with DS trying to run away or refusing to move unless I let him stand on the back off DD#s pram (he broke it in the end). Staying at home was worse as it was an endless string of getting stuff out for him to play with, five mins of him playing with it, then 20 mins clearing up the mess. Then changing DD's horrible nappies. Preparing food DS didn't bloody eat! Endlessly bfing DD. Awful. Actually thinking back it's making me feel better about my life atm...sorry that isn't helpful Having said all that when I did go back to work when she was 4 months old I cried and cried. Ended up with PND. Not surprising so many people do. But going out to work again won't neccessarily be the answer.

You need friends around, wine and a change of scene.

Hunkermunker - sorry you're having a bad day.
I guess there are a lot of us who feel the same from time to time.
For me the icing on the cake is the guilt I feel for feeling this way. Dh is wonderful and v understanding and generous and ultimately I know what we're doing is for the best for ds and bump. But it doesnt stop me thinking that way at times. I do keep saying, though that it's only for another 5 years or so (have a glorious future all mapped out).
Time to beg a babysitter and go to the pub I think. Getting time out always seems to help me get a bit of perspective.

Thanks, guys. At MIL's now, both boys asleep, feel much less...panicky...than earlier.

This week's been a fortnight long, surely?

The only time I've had a break from the children recently was seeing FIL in intensive care...think I might have more understanding of why I'm stressed now!

Hunker, will call you later hun.

Glad you are feeling better. You should be resting too though, not jumping on here

xxxx

Just remember, mother doesn't equal superhuman. It is alright to feel pants some days (even without pnd). I go to bed some days feeling very satisfied with what I have done/achieved (both with the kids and at home in general), and others when I feel so rotten at how little "stimulation" etc I have given them.

I've got a 20m gap between mine, youngest is 18m now and things do get better. They just happen so gradually you don't notice and then you feel guilty for wishing your baby's life away. I pinned all my hopes on DS turning 6m and everything being better, then things were sure to be manageable when he can walk, now if he'd just stop eating EVERYTHING but I know I won't really be happy until he's potty trained and there's no way you could call him a baby.
I've just realised it's been a few months since I was just sitting on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out and little DD cuddling me (and then having to pretend I felt better of course) so you see it's the little bits of joy/relief/bearableness you have to try and add up regularly. Don't bother counting the obvious blessings, they'll just make you feel sad and ungrateful.
Take advantage of the weather because it means you can get out for free. Just walk everywhere, take a picnic blanket, drinks and snacks (and a book because it helps to be optimistic.) Playing with other mums is really important and do you know anyone who might fancy a week's houseswap for bit of fun? Even if they live nearby the change would do you good and it's always more fun to clean someone else's house.
Keep yer chin up, you don't have to enjoy it, you just have to get through it and one day one will be starting playschool and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. (Get his/her name on a list quick btw!)
HTH, Liv

I am really sorry you feel like this