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Original poster

when your best friend is so much richer than you are.......

70 replies

bubblepop · 17/07/2006 21:43

does it bother you? do you find it difficult to maintain the friendship?
it really shoud'nt matter i suppose with a good friend but just recently mine said to me "well, its obvious me and my dh have got a lot more money than you and your dh"
i felt sooo small......

OP posts:
misdee · 17/07/2006 21:44

doesnt bother me. my friends may be better off than me, but i am richer in some ways. dunno how tho, give me a few hours and i'll think of some.

OppressedLiberalPinko · 17/07/2006 21:45

Could you have said, "Quite. So it's your round."

FairyMum · 17/07/2006 21:45

It wouldn't bother me my friend was richer than me, but it would bother me if she made comments like that.

sallystrawberry · 17/07/2006 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beauregard · 17/07/2006 21:48

Wtf?
That would of seriously pissed me off!
2 of My friends and their dh's are well off but it isn't a problem most of the time but sometimes i think that they forget we cant always do the things that they do,but they would never say that to me,how rude.

SoupDragon · 17/07/2006 21:48

Oh..... that's not what a friend should say at all

"You may have more money but we have more manners" is the correct response.

Thomcat · 17/07/2006 21:49

Other than my most dearest best friend all my friends are, or have been richer than us. Never bothered me.

mazzystar · 17/07/2006 21:52

gosh, did she sound particularly pleased about that or did it just come out wrong?

my best friend is considerably richer than me, mainly because she hasn't any children and has a full-on career. it hasn't made an iota of difference to our friendship.

Original poster
bubblepop · 17/07/2006 21:52

mmm. i must admit that after she said it i went on about it to my dh all weekend!!it did seriously piss me off! i mean, its not as if i wasn't aware of it, so why she felt the need to say it i don't know! anyway, im now plotting my revenge! haha

OP posts:
fistfullofnappies · 17/07/2006 21:53

That comment is way out of order!
I think a big financial difference is bound to affect the friendship in some way, unless one of you is Mother Theresa and the other one is Princess Diana.

Yorkiegirl · 17/07/2006 21:54

Message withdrawn

hulababy · 17/07/2006 21:56

We have friends who have more money than we have at the moment. They are all lovely and we just all get on well. None would ever comment on this at all though.

LadyToothache · 17/07/2006 21:56

Thats an awful thing to say!! In what context was it said??

I have friends who come from VERY wealthy families. They are not rich (yet) themselves and it does get on my wick when they complain that they're skint... when in reality their parents pay half their mortgage and buy them cars. BUT they NEVER would rub it in my face ever ever ever!!!!

nutcracker · 17/07/2006 21:57

My best friend is alot better off than me mnoey wise, but I know she'd swap that for what I have (kids) in a second.

expatinscotland · 17/07/2006 21:59

what a tacky thing to say.

Blondilocks · 17/07/2006 22:00

I'm richer than my best friend at the moment in so far as she graduated this year and I graduated last year and have been working since.

It's never been a problem, but then I'd never say something like that to her. I'm fairly generous, but not in a show-offy way.

ks · 17/07/2006 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mazzystar · 17/07/2006 22:04

why should it make such a difference, ffon?

Enid · 17/07/2006 22:06

my best friend is roughly the same as us financially

but I do have a really good friend who has a LOT more money than us

it is never mentioned although our children will clearly be going to different secondary schools!

NannyL · 17/07/2006 22:08

ok.... i have a lot more money than my best friend

she is a single mum with a 2 year old living in a (very nice) council flat, where as i have my own house, no dependants and work full time, so obvioulsy have more spare cash

I couldnt care less if she has not a penny (and i pay for whatever) I know she hates me paying for stuff but at times she doesnt have the money and i have... and i think thats what friends do!

I couldnt give a damn if she was broke or loaded... we are bestest freinds regardless and i hope we always will be!

So thats my opinion from the 'other' side... I hope your friend has the same opinion of you as i do my best friend!

Original poster
bubblepop · 17/07/2006 22:12

we were talking about the subject of friendships and people we know, and how that it seems that most people hang around with others of the same financial status or similar backrounds. she was using our friendship as an example that it really should'nt matter how much money you've got/not got, and that it should't make any difference between good friends. i think her intention was good and that she just put her big foot in it, iyswim. still, im feeling resentful of her comment....

OP posts:
southeastastra · 17/07/2006 22:18

i would tell her outright that the comment upset you. money does horrible things to people sometimes.

fistfullofnappies · 17/07/2006 22:25

mazzy, because people arent quite as idealistic as everyone is saying on this thread.
I dont mean friendships where one couple is on a senior managers salary and one is on an engineers salary (for example), I mean serious financial difference, like one couple lives in a big detached house, income to match, and the other couple cant afford a mortgage. Unless there was some big shared interest.

Cappucino · 17/07/2006 22:59

it only bothers me when we're having a conversation, say about the house, and she drops in 'well my cleaner only costs this much so it's not worth bothering about, just get a cleaner'

or when she got really narked with me for no reason for running a car into the ground instead of getting a car loan, because it 'only' cost £120 more than I spent each month saving up for a new car and it's not a fortune is it

but if I ever do want to get snarly I remember I wouldn't want to be living with her to her dp and have her mouthy ds's around the place for all the money in the world

and I also remember that I love her dearly

Cappucino · 17/07/2006 23:00

'living with her dp'

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