Families! ye cannae pick 'em

[nailpolish]

elderly aunt is in hospital. extended family (including those professional hospital visitors who creep out of the woodwork) have been religiously visiting, sitting at bedside, eating grapes and flicking through her mags

i have not been able to go and see her
a. because dd1 has had the chickenpox
b. im basically busy

BUT i have been doing all her errands
paying her rent, council tax, bills etc
going to the bank
her ironing/washing
feeding her cat
etc

to me this is more useful than sitting at her bedside acting 'the good niece'

but the family are whispering about me (mum told me)

im rather upset

i have to go and see her now on sunday just to shut them up

thanks for listening

Well, I hope your mum put them straight, on your behalf!

I like "professional hospital visitors who creep out of the woodwork" - I've got an aunt like that!

i dont think she did

she kind of said to me "you should go and visit auntie XXX soon"

she is not about to die or anything

That's really unfair, but I can just imagine similar thing happening in my extended family.

Could you just send in a little card saying "sorry havnt visited but dd...... so instead I have...... hope that this is ok with you all my love....."

Then prompt your mum to pass it round everyone to read the "nice card from.,.."

aw thats a great idea secur

I would wait until all the visitors are there,tell them all to their faces what you've been doing. If anyone would like to help then you are more than happy for them to do so.

its so annoying

some people visit hospitals with children and picnics in tow like its a day out or something

aunt is elderly is gets so exhausted, especially with lots of visitors

do these people really have her best interests at heart?

(she has a brain tumour, thankfully benign, but is having strenuous physio, tests etc)

Oh I hate it when people do that, gossipy gossipy and not a word of truth.

The card idea sounds ideal. Also the fact that your dd had chickenpox meant that you shouldn't really have gone to the hospital anyway.

I would add in the card that the cat is doing fine and not to worry about anything as you are taking care of it.

That should shut them up.

I have two whole sides of the family like that. It is all for show, very superficial. And usually I am the one getting whispered at, so you have my sympathy.