guess what i saw today in morrison's carpark?!! (hint: very ignorant parent!!)

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

RIght beside our car in the Parent and Toddler area there was a car parked.
There was a small boy hanging out the window (which was half rolled down so he was hanging over the glass)
Inside the car was a small girl (crying), a toddler and a baby.
4 children under 5 left alone in the car. Where were the parents?
She came out a few minutes later with a couple of pot noodles and a ready meal.
You know those moments when you feel like the worst parent in the world? Just think of that woman!!

fab post, eidsvold

So, now you're judging parents-of-one?

Maybe the poor woman is pregnant and CRAVING pot noodles. Who says the crap food was for her kids? Perhaps she was even picking it up for someone else.

I liked hmc's post re 'parental miles on the clock'(good phrase I thought). I can see what she means and have heard it myself.

But why is it acceptable to judge parents-of-one and not someone who leaves her children in the car to buy Pot Noodles?

Nearly all the ingredients for a mumsnet smugfest - car parks, supermarkets, pot noddles.........et voila.

Bring on the smugfest......

No I'm not judging parents of one, or two or even three - merely the subset of those parents who feel qualified to make swingeing assessments of others parenting choices. I don't have many parenting miles on the clock myself (just a 2 yr old and a nearly 4 yr old) so I am hardly judging those in that (my) situation

Agree with different posters about different things on this thread.

Myself, I would not leave children in the car when you cannot see them, especially when you could be queing in the supermarket for a while. I just couldn't do it but then again I am a worrier.

So what if she was buying pot noodles and ready meals? Perhaps it was 'one of those days' and she simply couldn't be arsed to cook something proper.

Don't get the Morrisons and Waitrose thing. Presume that it is being insinuated that us plebs shop at Morrisons and smugmums shop at Waitrose???

even if it was crap food, that might have been their tea! pot noodles might be crap but it isn't going to kill them. At least the mother is feeding them.

I think it sounds like a harassed mum, who was prob stressed and wanted something instant for tea then throw them all in bed. I would sympathise, even if I would rather eat the container than the contents of a pot noodle.

Who you saw could have easily have been me. I have four kids, the oldest have just turned 6 and 4, and the twins are nearly 15 months. I leave them in the car regularly. It wasn't such a big deal a few years ago, jsut people are increasingly paranoid now.

I've popped to tescos for a pizza for tea because they've been driving me up the wall all day and I want to be able to just stick tea int he oven and be free to keep them entertained until bedtime. It is a small store, there are glass windows, and I can see the car from inside. And mine sit nicely, they don't hang out of windows.

I def do nto take them across garage forecourts or into the school to for pick ups/drop offs. I'm gone a few minutes, there is no point! They are safer in the car then outside a school.

I don't know about the judging thing, I'm not getting into that. I think everyone judges everyone else to some extent, even if you just do it mentally.

I was really just saying I liked the phrase 'parental miles on the clock' - it makes sense to me.

I think the problem here is that some people (including myself) are too quick to judge on how someone appears to look without knowing the background.
For all we know this woman could have just found out her dad had been rushed into hospital, had no one to leave the kids with and had the foresight to rush into a shop and buy a some snacks that could be made up in the hospital (I know this is stretching it a bit with the ready meal lol) while she saw how her dad was.
Today that same woman could be parent of the year by mn standards eating lentils and playing with her kids and those basket things that have wooden spoons in them.

thanks Tinygang for seeing where I am coming from with that phrase - I was answering Soupdragon's post, that's all

But surely we aren’t focusing on the food aspect we are thinking of the kids, what if (god forbid) something happened to those kids, why risk it, I myself would rather endure a screaming child than let anything happen to them. People in the supermarkets etc would probably look at the mayhem but I wouldn’t particularly care as long as I knew my kids were safe and with me. In all seriousness you can’t honestly say that if there was the slightest chance of something happening you would still leave the kids in the car!

But surely we aren’t focusing on the food aspect we are thinking of the kids, what if (god forbid) something happened to those kids, why risk it, I myself would rather endure a screaming child than let anything happen to them. People in the supermarkets etc would probably look at the mayhem but I wouldn’t particularly care as long as I knew my kids were safe and with me. In all seriousness you can’t honestly say that if there was the slightest chance of something happening you would still leave the kids in the car!

I find it staggering that people have the time or inclination to count the number of kids in someone's car and then to notice exactly what shopping they have....

sorry --- pressed it twice! DOH

But you are judging those not many parental 'miles on the clock'. You can't tell if they are experienced having nannied, aupaired, had much younger siblings... I'm not picking on youm just using this as an example. The point is that we all make judgements of everyone.

I don't think it's bad to make judgements about people provided those judgements do not colour how we treat that person. I make judgements all the time but I'm perfectly happy to be proved wrong and I don't let those judgements affect how I deal with people.

As for Pot Noodles - the "chicken flavour" one is suitable for vegetarians! I think I'm entitled to feel superior to a product like that :)

I don't think HMC is judging parents-of-one SD, I think she was more making the point that it is a different story having 1 and having 4, wrt the logistics of supermarket trips etc. I have 1 and can't contemplate how difficult it must be trying to get 4 in and out of the supermarket on a tight time budget. That said, I personally wouldn't take the risk of leaving such young children in the car - if I saw it, I wouldn't judge but would discreetly hang around and keep an eye out until the parent got back.

Not normally I wouldn't no but as I said because we don't know the background the woman may have had bad news and needed to be somewhere quickly so took a risk. I'm not saying it's right but things aren't always so black and white.

Me too - I think we X posted. I'm going to skulk off from here as I'm determined to have a stress free Monday - if such a thing exists

my post then was to chloesmama, everyone typed at once lol.

It's okay soupdragon - I don't feel "picked on" ...I sort of see your point, but still feel generally that it's a bit rich of comparatively inexperienced parents (as far as we know)to judge those with 'more on their plate'

This whole thread has been sparked off because a judgment was made that should have kept private.
We all make judgments about everything all the time.
I'm sure that I am not alone in remembering judgments I made about other mothers when I was still a 'green' mother of one. I cringe now to think how unfair and unrealistic I had been. I see mothers look at me sometimes when the kids are doing any number of unmentionable things and I'm having to drag the toddler across Boots by an arm whilst balancing baby and shopping on the other hip. My small consolation is that one day they will realisse that judgments they made were in haste. Now to be honest I don't give a toss what anyone thinks

I agree, she may have had some bad news or difficult circumstances but i dont believe that she has the right to put her kids in danger. It is my opinion only and we could all go on all day about the whys etc but at the end of the day whatever her reasons were i cant see one that would justify it. She could of made her possibly already bad day into one that was unthinkable and unbearable!

I leave dd3 in the car when doing school/nursery pick up

and when I need some things from the shop