guess what i saw today in morrison's carpark?!! (hint: very ignorant parent!!)

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

RIght beside our car in the Parent and Toddler area there was a car parked.
There was a small boy hanging out the window (which was half rolled down so he was hanging over the glass)
Inside the car was a small girl (crying), a toddler and a baby.
4 children under 5 left alone in the car. Where were the parents?
She came out a few minutes later with a couple of pot noodles and a ready meal.
You know those moments when you feel like the worst parent in the world? Just think of that woman!!

Dinny, although I don't leave DS in the car I really don't have very strong feelings about it, after all my mother left my 2 sisters and me in the car while she did the shoping and nothing ever happened to us. It was the fact that the roof was down that made that baby look so vulnerable, it was so easily accessible, it was as if she had left the baby in her carseat resting on the bonet...

Dinny, although I don't leave DS in the car I really don't have very strong feelings about it, after all my mother left my 2 sisters and me in the car while she did the shoping and nothing ever happened to us. It was the fact that the roof was down that made that baby look so vulnerable, it was so easily accessible, it was as if she had left the baby in her carseat resting on the bonet...

ignorant - not really - perhaps harrassed and just nipped in to get what she needed rather than drag the four of them around the store. Can see where she is coming from....

Personally I think putting a child in a dryer to dry them far worse than leaving them in a car. hogtying a child to make them stay in their bed of a night time - far worse........shaking a baby cause they would not stop crying and ending up killing them - again far worse........

I am glad that woman's moment made you feel so self righteous and brilliant. I am sure I supply other women with moments of self righteousness and smugness on a daily basis - so pleased it made your day.

It is moments like that that I think there but by the grace of god go I........

But if it made you feel like parent of the year - good for you.

at the judging on this thread!

Hear hear eidsvold.

I often wonder how people would think if they could walk a mile in the shoes of those they were judging.

Seconded VVVQV . None of us are perfect and yes I think if I had four children and only wanted three things I'd probably just want to run in to. Ten years ago children alone in cars weren't given a second glance. It's a sad sign of the times that they aren't safe anywhere isn't it. Bear in mind 10 states here in the US have made it illegal to leave your child in the car. Yes I've done it leaving sleeping 2 year old to run in and fetch big brother from school here. But it's never been done with a happy heart but grumpy 2yr old screaming in arms whilst grabbing grumpy 4yr old who doesn't want to go home :o

Once knew a mum at my own kids infant school who would regularly leave her baby boy asleep in his pram at home whilst she collected her older ones from school.She lived 5mins away from school so baby was alone for say 15mins in a locked house!
I was in a similar possition to her,ie new baby and two at school, but wouldn't have dreamnt of leaving mine.She thought I was a bad mum for taking my new born out in the cold!

Why isn't Morrisons very Mumsnet tissy?
I've never even been into a Waitrose and wouldn't know where to find one if I wanted to!

I think that it has been argued before that leaving children in the car at a petrol station is safer than taking them out and onto the forecourt. However, I'm far too worried that somebody will steal my car (with baby in it) that I (almost) always carry my dd in to pay with me.
But, as with life, its one of those damned if you do, damned if you dont. I can just imagine another thread if the mum had taken the four kids inside and they'd been misbehaving.

Why is it a "sign of the times" that they aren't safe anywhere? I don't think children are in any greater danger these days and believe there are statistics to back me up. I think the sign of the times is that parents are becoming increasingly paranoid and our children increasingly over-protected. Personally wouldn't leave mine alone in a car either, but mainly because I ccan picture police, social services, fire brigade and Sky news being called by "concerned public".

Totally agree FM !!

my kids are 9 and 6 and get left in the car when I pay for my petrol. I've been doing this for years and I think that traipsing two children across a forecourt is at least as dangerous as leveing them in the car....ds was a 'runner' when small.

off hand I cannot remember ever seeing a parent taking their children out of the car, across to pay, and then putting them back in!

I have also been known to leaver them in the car when I pop into the shop to get a pint of milk. They are there for 5 minutes maximum. When I was their age I was walking to school on my own and it was quite the norm. They are , in my opinion, safe in the car. They know not to get out, and the liklyhood of the car spontiuosly combusting is about the same as the shop getting hit by lightning.

TBH my kids are so limited in their freedom that I cactualy feel sorry for them, and I fully realise that it is my fault. My dd is 9 and has never crossed the road on her own. That can't be healthy, can it? Or helpful for her long term life skills?

I am really shocked to see how my sel righteous parents there have been on this thread. I bet you that you have all been the suject of someone's conversation when they saw you in the street/shop/ wherever, doing something less than perfect. What you think of as perfectly acceptable behaviour will NOT be ok for someone else. There are many different ways to parent , some worse than others but none of them perfect. I for one can't stand being in the park with my kids and having to watch them be confronted by some over protcted, overindulged , spoilt middleclass child who has never been told off properly and has never heard the word NO said with any degree of force . I watch them try to dominate the play equipment whilst followed round by an over anxious mother. That's my bug bear. I'm sure that particular mother dislikes the way I parent my children too. Give people a break

PMSL.

All of you Up In Arms posters can now feel self righteousness and smug about how superior you are to the OP.

Hear hear FairyMum and eidsvold! I shouldn't have looked at this thread as I knew it was another of those getting off on others perceived bad parenting ones.

As an aside my fear is that if our kids are always wrapped in cotton wool they won't learn to perceive risk.

lol soupy

It's true though isn't it? Everybody judges everybody else. I do it. However I wouldn't let it cloud my judgement of a person when I got to know them. Half the posters on this thread have judged and found themselves superior to the original woman, half have judged and found themselves superior to the other half of the posters.

My first impression of, say, that woman would have been "bad parent" (not because of the leaving the kids in the car but because of the potnoodles :o). Actually, that's not right, I wouldn't htink she was a bad parent I would think that that was an example of bad parenting - there's a difference. We all have examples of Bad Parenting but that doesn't make us bad parents. Parents having a Bad Day maybe but not bad parents.

lol soupy, great words of wisdom there.

"We all have examples of Bad Parenting but that doesn't make us bad parents. Parents having a Bad Day maybe but not bad parents."

I hereby nominate you for Quote of the Week!

notagrannyyet people forget that the whole world doesn't have a Waitrose; they think it's like a national chain.

I'd have to drive miles to get to one but I wouldn't bother - but I have a Morrisons round the corner. (btw I don't buy pot noodles in it )

my friend's mum is appalled that she has moved to an area without a waitrose and whenever she comes to visit she rings her up to see if she needs anything because she's convinced she can't buy most of her groceries anywhere else.

i do believe 'there but for the grace of god go i' despite not believing in god!
it does shock me that in my day to day life women like the women on this thread will watch me whisper and judge.....

"None of us are perfect and yes I think if I had four children and only wanted three things I'd probably just want to run in to."
Um, it's not ike she was running in for some milk and nappies and medicine. It was crap food FGS.
Honestly. Everyone has a fit if they see Kate Galloway smoking while preggers (which is, of course, wrong) but think I'm judging because I don't think a 5 year old should be left in charge of 2 toddlers and a baby in an open car?
Yeah, I'm the bad guy.

I think this thread is horrible.

Uh sorry - do they not have carrier bags in Morrisons? Was she just carrying her shopping her arms so that you could see it and pass judgement on her?

LOTS of parents leave their children in the car to pop into shops - including me - what's worse: dragging your annoying children into a shop while shouting at them because they are driving you to distraction or leaving them alone for a few minutes? We moan about our children 'not having any freedom' and then act as though leaving them alone for a few minutes is an act of extreme neglect!

Quite right morning paper. I leave my kids in the car if I have to, school runs, shopping etc. For heavens sake what's the fuss???
Real child abuse and neglect is a million miles away from this.

Also what does it matter WHAT she's buying. It's ok to leave your kids if you're buying organic beansprouts but not for a bar of choc and some fags?
Crazy judgements.
Wish I was that perfect

What's really interesting is when poeple with not many parental 'miles on the clock' (eg parent to just one teeny weeny tot for example) feel qualified to judge a mother of 4

'people'