Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

Teachers. Honest comment please

62 replies

Tortington · 12/06/2006 08:56

my son was with a group of pupils who were smoking. on this occasion however he was not smoking.

he completed 5 hours of detention
he was told he may not be allowed to go to the prom. until last week - the prom is next week.

i know not everywhere has a prom so let me explain - the financial aspect is quite harrowing actually- theres a limosine, suit, shoes, shirt, tie, acessories. and as its "prom"season the likleyhood of getting a limosine with 2 weeks notice is nil.

this has caused no end of financial worry for the whole family.

then the straw that broke the camels back was the thrid punishment
an extra fiver on the price of the ticket.

i am royally - and i mean cartoon red - steam coming out of ears pissed off. the only people who are being punished are us - the parents.

its a good job i have took my anger out on the school by writing letter to the effect of above - and not on my son - who i might add i want to beat the shit out of for being the hub of this enormous worry.

we have been dangling for 2 months now. cannot plan anything - each week being told the decision will be soon - we have phoned ourselves- incase of son/parent miscommunication - and been told the same thing.

i guess along with the series of unfortunate events i want to ask - how many punishments for a crime of association should a school give?

i am so very angry. the people who are suffering are the rest of us - we are on cheapo tesco stuff whilst ds is at his girlfirends everynight on steak and efing chips. which i cant deny him becuase - .....he didn't actually do anything - and the school have already punished him.

i have always supported theschool - and have took with silence the punishments so far but the last fiver was a fucking pisstake.

your views much appreciated.

OP posts:
hulababy · 12/06/2006 09:06

Seems a lot of punishments for one offence to me. One punishment should be sufficient. They could have at least let the parents now about the prom bit. Good on you for writing.

At the prom thing, do you have to have a limo? I know some pupils do but certainly not all at the schools I know of. One group had a helicopter locally this year!!! LOL.

Seriously though, I would forego the limo and book a black cab or take them myself.

Can he pay the extra £5 himself, or would that be pointless anyway diue to hving to give him money for night?

Hire a suit, including shirt/tie. Is it not black tie?

I'd keep it simple.

hunkermunker · 12/06/2006 09:13

That's bullying behaviour by the school, I think. You know, today I want all your lunch money, tomorrow I will kick you in the head, next day do nothing but smile, day after go lalalalalala and smirk whenever I see you kind of thing.

I'd be livid, Custy.

Can he share a limo with a mate? And can you go and tear the head a new one? It's really, really off of them to make you wait so long to find out about this, especially since he has more than served his punishment. In fact, I think they should let you off the price of the whole ticket. Put that to them. In tones they cannot refuse.

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:19

bump til breaktime. maybe gone for work by lunchtime.

OP posts:
Hallgerda · 12/06/2006 09:22

custardo, I think you're quite right to be upset and angry about this. I sometimes wonder whether schools put any misdemeanours down to the parents having programmed their children incorrectly that morning rather than the children having free will and choosing sometimes to express it inappropriately... And the punishments seem completely over the top for a crime of association. Piling on new punishments for one offence doesn't even happen to real criminals who come before the courts, so it shouldn't be done to your son.

Is there any way you could decorate your own car/your son's bicycle in a way that would outclass all those awfully common and unoriginal limousines?

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:22

oh thanks hunker. i tend to go off at the deep end y'know, and then i become some irratinal alien who has the world against her and i get ever so melodramatic. whereas my dh is so laid back hes fking horizontal - so getting perspective is hard.

he has got a limo - he is sharing with his GF - and her mum booked it - whether or not my son was going - now i will pay half of course. but the GF family too have been on tenterhooks becuase they dont know where they are at with their finances either - do they have to pay a few hundred quid for a limo - or just a hundred? - i mean its a bloody big difference.

will she be going to prom with her boyfriend? or will she have to go on her sad lonesome - what an awful dilema for a 15 year old girl to have to face - when she did nowt wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:23

thanks hallgerda xx

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 12/06/2006 09:24

I do deep end, DH also horizontal. But what you've posted is just Not Fair and that is always red rag to a bull with me!

Carmenere · 12/06/2006 09:26

I know that you have a very straighforward relationship with your son Custardo but is there any chance that you don't have the whole picture? It just really does seem to be a lot of punishment for a fairly innocuous crime of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. My dss fibs by ommission regularly, particularly about school stuff.

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:34

i have full picture guarenteed. i know this becuase he does smoke - i know he does - and he is gloating indignance at the fact he was punished for NOT actually smoking!

and ihave let it slide - i always back up school - even if they dish out punishments wrng - i tell my kids - hard shit - you shouldnt be orrible at school - its kharma and all that - am not bothered - a couple more detentions than is necessary - idont care - punish my kids as much as you like - ring me up - ask me - i have a few suggestions for you - hard work never did anyone any harm etc etc.

but this is a lot of money and worry and pisstakedness.

am really not one of those parents who goes off at the slightest

OP posts:
Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:39

thanks hulababy - i missed you completely. we have managed to get everythng together - the suit is off the GF grandad from the 60's -its fab. got other stuff off ebay - but its a lot of effing around especially when most people have been booking and planning since before xmas.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 09:40

Custy hi! Are you on MSN (sorry to hijack!)?

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:42

i am now - but your not

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 09:45

It says I am! Hang on!

hulababy · 12/06/2006 09:47

60s suit sounds great! I hope, after all this and when it is all calmed down, he has a lovely night with his GF (feel very stressed out on her behalf of not knowing if she had her date) and you get some lovely photos for the family album!

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:48

i dunno..we're having a conversation here - me hunker, hula carmanere and hallgerda doncha know. am getting advice for serious pissoff symdrom (SPS)

OP posts:
Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 09:49

awww ta hula xx

OP posts:
TinyGang · 12/06/2006 09:49

No I completely see where you're coming from Custy. You have a very valid point. I suppose the school know this kind of 'punishment' will goad a reaction from the parents and supposedly they'll turn the heat up at home too.

They've dragged this out over two months though??! That seems ridiculous to me. He was punished at the time in whatever way they saw fit - in the usual blanket 'mallet to crack a nut' way that school does. Either he could go or not; what is this, crown court?

Also, putting up the price of the ticket means they gain financially from the misdemeanour(which he didn't even commit let's not forget). That seems a bit of a strange example in discipline from the school. Especially as they've only just informed you of this latest aspect of the punishment. Are they milking this for all it's worth for their own gain by making things up as they go along? I'd certainly put my side to them as he's leaving anyway.

Oh god though. School Proms eh? I've heard about them and the expense involved. Where does it end?! In my day you got booted (relief all round) out with a flea in yer ear!Wink

bubblerock · 12/06/2006 09:59

How can they justify asking for £5 extra?? What are they going to use it for? If they are donating to a lung cancer charity then I can see the connection but putting it towards a prom seems totally bizarre!

hulababy · 12/06/2006 10:01

Good point bubblerock - find out what that extra £5 is being used for.

Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 10:11

I'd be at the school ranting and raving and demanding to speak to the Head and the governers etc. This is such an over-the-top reaction! What about the other boys who were smoking? What punishment do they get?

My God, smoking is hardly crime of the bloody century is it? I presume the teachers themselves don't smoke then?

Carmenere · 12/06/2006 10:16

I agree with Rhubarb, it is totally over the top and I would be fuming and I would make my opinion known to the head teacher!

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 10:33

they are going to give it to charity

OP posts:
Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 10:35

thank you for validifying my reaction - have written strong letter with big words - hopefully spelled right.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 12/06/2006 10:36

spelt right (he he!)

Original poster
Tortington · 12/06/2006 10:36

shit

OP posts: