Teachers. Honest comment please

[Tortington]

my son was with a group of pupils who were smoking. on this occasion however he was not smoking.

he completed 5 hours of detention
he was told he may not be allowed to go to the prom. until last week - the prom is next week.

i know not everywhere has a prom so let me explain - the financial aspect is quite harrowing actually- theres a limosine, suit, shoes, shirt, tie, acessories. and as its "prom"season the likleyhood of getting a limosine with 2 weeks notice is nil.

this has caused no end of financial worry for the whole family.

then the straw that broke the camels back was the thrid punishment
an extra fiver on the price of the ticket.

i am royally - and i mean cartoon red - steam coming out of ears pissed off. the only people who are being punished are us - the parents.

its a good job i have took my anger out on the school by writing letter to the effect of above - and not on my son - who i might add i want to beat the shit out of for being the hub of this enormous worry.

we have been dangling for 2 months now. cannot plan anything - each week being told the decision will be soon - we have phoned ourselves- incase of son/parent miscommunication - and been told the same thing.

i guess along with the series of unfortunate events i want to ask - how many punishments for a crime of association should a school give?

i am so very angry. the people who are suffering are the rest of us - we are on cheapo tesco stuff whilst ds is at his girlfirends everynight on steak and efing chips. which i cant deny him becuase - .....he didn't actually do anything - and the school have already punished him.

i have always supported theschool - and have took with silence the punishments so far but the last fiver was a fucking pisstake.

your views much appreciated.

Who was going to put me into the BB house with DC??? Please no.

I'd be cross about this as well. My cousin was banned from his shcool prom for some ridiculously minor misdemeanour, and I know it was a big deal. Seems very unfair.

I'd definitely talk to the school and point out that you are being punnished not him.

It's hardly going to tackle the whole smoking thing either is it (nothing is except lots and lots of look at what it can do for you and waiting a few more years until smoking isnt cool).

The whole thing does seem very harsh. I would just check before you go in all guns blazing that your son is not leaving out other minor misdeamors that he chooses to. If I had a pound for every parent who came in calling the odds about a child's behaviour saying the school has been OTT, and then when we've been through the actual log of the minor / petty things that the child has just failed to mention, it does make for quite a few embarrassed parents sometimes (I'm lucky in my efficiency, I keep a watertight log of all complaints from subject tutors etc, so that one never gets past me!). But equally, there are times when I might have a child who is an absolute angel in school, and the mum is stunned on parents' evening as they can be quite different at home from school!

On the other point... I am aware that banning students from proms (or threatening to) is used by schools to ensure co-operative behaviour at the end of term. Its not done to piss off the parents, rather we have so few discipline techniques left to us, that by year 11, students do not bother to attend detentions - what else have you got? The prom is the only thing that the kids care about, so rightly or wrongly it gets used. Getting the kids to do other things like make a presentation in assembly is a nice idea but just would not work. In reality you'd end up with a bunch of students who would just stand there saying 'dunno' or words to that effect and they would get the other kids laughing and taking the piss... after all, we can't force students to do such things, and all too often it would require force to get a year 11 student to stand up in year assembly and give a presentation on smoking! The reality is, we have too few punishments available to us, so teachers use whatever works. Unfortunately, the threat of not going to the prom does work (although I've not ever actually seen anyone barred from it!)

Jimjams - you and DC in the BB house. Now that I'd watch !

Any news yet Custy?

heres the leter sent in today.

Dear Miss teacher,
In April 2006 custy son was told he may not be able to attend the Prom. He also completed 5 hours of detention. This was because he was with some pupils who were smoking. On this occasion custy son was not caught smoking but was guilty by association.

Last week, some 2 months later custy son was told he was now allowed to attend the prom. As you can imagine this has caused no end of difficulty for us his parents who have to arrange with 2 weeks notice, a suit, a limousine and the associated paraphernalia at much cost because we could not forward plan for the financial implications, which for us are quite significant. Are these 2 punishments not enough that there has to be a third?

I have accepted until now and supported the school in its punishment. However I am now told custy son has to pay extra for his Prom ticket. It rather seems Miss teacher, that the people being punished are the parents. It seems all the more unfair because on this occasion custy son was not actually smoking, for which the whole family (because of the financial aspect) are now paying.

I wholeheartedly agree with punishments for children smoking at school. If there had been an instant ban. I would have supported the school in its decision. If you had insisted on custy son single handedly picking litter for the remainder of the year (despite the fact that he wasn’t smoking at the time) I would have supported the school. If you had wanted custy son and his friends to do a project on the effects of smoking, or a charity event for cancer research, I would have backed you up
all the way. I cannot stress enough the financial implications which we as parents are feeling - not custy son. custy son is going to pay for part of his prom when he starts work. However that does not ease the immediate financial pressure and does not detract from both points :

The financial strain
The drawn out punishment

I very much respect the school and have always accepted without question the punishments, however I feel you do not fully understand the implications this has on not custy son but on the entire custy household.

I look forward to hearing a reply forthwith

Yours sincerely

Custy

Good letter.

BTW I saw the cost for your 16 prom....£15. So £5 on top would be a whopping fine!

Great letter.:)

Let us know what their response is mate - I've the heavies on standby in case of trouble!

Good letter! They should at the very least waive the fiver 'fine'. Totally mismanaged by school IMO.

Great letter, Custy. Any reply yet?

nope nuffink!

will let you know promise

Still bloody stringing it out then? The gits.