The Dating Game...

[Lizzer]

Hello, as advised by Ems I'm starting this for you all to help and advise me through the fabulous, but often disasterous, world of dating. The reason being (may as well tell the whole world, eh!) I've just found myself back in that big old sea hunting for one of the plenty more fish that I'm always being told exist. Its actually taken me 2 yrs of full time mothering mixed with absolute fear of the unknown to get here, and now I'm going on a DATE next week - Gah!

I'd love to hear any tragi-comic stories that you might have on the subject and obviously any helpful hints and tips for me such as 'no don't wear the red PVC number on your first date' etc...!!

I'm sure you all have some hidden in your deepest darkest memories, so share with us...

(Also any touching, romantic ones would be great - they give me hope that there is someone out there for me somewhere!!! )

When I was in the dating arena I went out with this guy one Sunday afternoon. Things did not go well as we didn't have anything in common and I met just about everyone I had ever met in my life. In the end my now dh walked in and I asked him to leg it out the back of the pub with me which he agreed to do. I told my date I was making a phone call and just didn't go back. The next day the date rang me up to find out where I had got to and needless to say I felt pretty guilty. I never saw the guy again until three months later when I moved to Portsmouth (the original date took place in Plymouth) and met him in a pub. Unfortunately I can remember faces but names and where I meet people usually escape me so I'm chatting away to this guy asking him how he is etc while my dh is wondering what the hell I'm doing. It was only when I walked away that I realised who he was and did I ever feel embarrassed. Dh thought it was hilarious as the look on my face when the penny dropped was a picture. Needless to say after our encounter the guy left probably thinking what a cheeky mare I was. Worked out well though as five years later I'm still with my knight who saved me from boredom.

Best of luck Lizzer! I feel as though I been with dh for ever and am racking my brains to try and think of the other blokes that I went out with!
So only one word of advice - just in case you might find yourself in a nightclub, don't think you can get away with wearing a white bra and knickers under your slinky black dress - as I saw one poor unfortunate girl wearing, or maybe she just wanted to stand out from the crowd with her luminous boobs bouncing around in the dark !!!

Cool Lizzer. When I was getting divorced I met dh, I wasnt planning on being with anyone. He swept me off my feet. He took me out and showed me you could have a good time. On my birthday, a couple of weeks after we first started going out, he took me to an Italian restaurant, I had a birthday cake, he then took me to the beach where he produced a red rose, champagne and strawberries (I had never had these things before) in moonlight. When he proposed he surprised me with a limousine, hotel complete with meal and suite. There are some men out there who know how to treat a lady, you just have to wade through some crap to find them.
Have fun Lizzer. You have one thing one your side, you know what a crap relationship is like and you'll never get into another one of those.

Awww...more more more!

Don't worry about the ex's, how did you find true love with your dh's and dp's???!!!

(Joe1, you speak wise words with the 'been through the crap' theory - hope it works!)

I always feel I should find the hairy mary that entranced my ex away from me, and send her a crate of champers every year. Without her doing her stuff I would never have met my rock! Talk about sliding doors. Wherever you are - thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh and don't forget to wear your bridget jones extra large drawers when you go out - that way you'll always pull because you don't want to!!

I had a disastrous date, many moons ago now but is a funny story!!
I met a bloke in rather a drunken state in a nightclub and arranged to meet the next day. We went out but he was soooo quiet and I was blabbering away and drinking quite a lot too. In the end I was absolutely bladdered. We walked back to his place so I could order a taxi (all very innocent as I don't think he would have even had the guts to try anything on), taxi was ordered straight away and I went to the loo whilst waiting as felt the room spin!
Anyway, apparently I passed out on the loo and the guy had to brake down his own bathroom door to get me out as my taxi had arrived!! Taxi!!!!!! And yes, my pants were around my ankles! Couldn't believe he rang the next day to see me again!!!!!
It wasn't a budding romance!
Spookily though Selja, I grew up in Plymouth too which is where this happened so hope to God it wasn't the same guy as you met as he surely must have a complex now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Janus, at least you had (I assume) your taxi fare back home -a first date 'must' according to my mother.

Lizzer, no other advice, since I am 100% sure you will breeze through it. Just don't get too carried away and reveal all your mumsnet activities.

PS does your 8 year old sister know your password and would she be likely to blurt it out to a prospective boy friend?

And if things do get very amorous - only when you are betrothed , of course - make sure you remove any panty liners you might wear. Bit of a passion killer seeing your knickers tossed on the floor with a panty liner glowing in the dark!

Tinker - LOL! The idea of a panty liner glowing in the dark is something I'll be chuckling over for the next few days.

If he's at the bar, and you have decided to pop to the ladies (or whatever), when you go back to the bar make sure you pinch the right blokes backside! I didn't look and pinched the backside of some total stranger who was wearing the same leather jacket as my date! How embarrasing.

Tinker, I believe that for the woman who still takes a top-to-toe image seriously and has not inflicted giant grey pants on her partner, you can now purchase black panty liners. To my shame, I looked at them and thought, what's the point?
Lizzer, like Batters I have long since been consigned to the Rest Home for Sad Old Gals dating-wise. I hope you have fun, I am sure you will.
My Bible in the days before The Rules was Cynthia Heimel's Sex Tips for Girls. Possibly still in print, more likely to be found in the archives section of your local library.
You do realise that you will have to post and tell us how it went!

Message withdrawn

Hehehe Marina! I've actually read sex tips for girls many years ago - can't remember much of it now though but remember laughing a lot at the time...

Yes, I will keep you all up to date and thanks for the advice on panty liners and big knickers, however I'm suprised that you all didn't know that I'm actually a virgin so won't be partaking in any after hours activities at all (I'm sure I must have told you I am pure as the driven snow )!!!!!!

Tigermoth, I'm very much hoping that dls (darling little sister) will keep her mouth shut on this occasion - you can just imagine comments such as 'and why is your nose so big then?' etc......!!

Anymore funny/sweet stories anyone?

Oooo Amanda1 fantastic news, you must let me know how you're getting on. Especially the introduction to dd - I can't imagine anything harder to do at the moment, hope it goes well...

Lizzer - have you been on your date yet? And if so how did it go? (I hope your silence doesn't mean it was a disaster.....!)

PS. Thanks to you, I was reminded to go for my smear test last week. I hope you found everyone's advice & experiences on that thread helpful.

No, its not til this weekend! And don't worry I will be filling you all in on the details good or bad or hilarious!! I'm not actually nervous as such yet but I know as it gets nearer I'll be in knots!!

Glad you were reminded of smear by me - knew I'd be of some use to someone, somewhere, someday! I have found everyone's advice very useful - as ever, I might add!!

On one of my first dates, we went to see 'Fatal Attraction', that set the tone for our relationship, so needless to say it was doomed - Ha Ha! I was only about 15 at the time and a flighty young miss, and although the young fella was very attractive, he was also Mr Booooooooring! Good Luck on your date, Lizzer, you'll be a knock-out!

Have fun, "Another Vinopolis Veteran who looks pretty good on her diet". Do let us know how you get on, I hope it goes REALLY well!

Best of luck Lizzer! Just be yourself, maybe have a glass of wine for Dutch courage - not that you will need it of course!
Can't wait to hear all the details!

Good Luck, Lizzer. After meeting you at Vinopolis, I'm sure your date will have a fun time in your company.

And well done with the diet - until I read your message on another thread, I didn't realise you had lost so much weight.

Go, go go .... you mean you're missing Pop Idol?!!!