Fastasleep's descent into Hell..... all messages of support welcome [wink]

[FastasleepInTheHellPit]

I know this sounds pathetic but .....

I'M VISITING MY PARENTS. (TONIGHT!! FOR A WEEK!!)

Ok when you've stopped laughing lol - my parents are alcoholics, my mum has been mentally ill (but undiagnosed so no label for it) since I can remember, and my Dad is scary and anti-social and gave up talking to me when I was 8 (completely)... When I lived there (moved out 3 years ago, am 19 now) mum spent every night yelling insults at me and accusing me of everything under the sun and telling me how much she hated me etc... before then she used to take me to the doctors on a weekly basis with a new illness or injury or anything really... she pushed them till they diagnosed me with ME (much to my disgust even then) and depression (which was probably right but induced by her not anything else!!)... then she pulled me out of school, I spent some time in foster homes and children's homes and then I got married and left!

I'm going back cos I still love her, what an idiot huh?

Anyway I'm at the outer circle of hell atm - packing with two under two's around (ok one's 2.1 but still). My parents decided to pick us up (we're carless) a day early and weren't going to say until I called late last night....

Any tips on staying sane and not biting her head off or pulling my hair out and having a melt down on their kitchen floor if and when she starts her drunken insults?

Thanks for reading my fear induced ramble...

Oh and DS has hidden my cash card...

Well they live 250 moles away....moles? I've swapped dimensions I'm so stressed now!! MILES away... and mum phones me every night - 'I think you don't love me, you never want to visit, it would be so nice to bond with my granchildren..'

I'm a soft touch basically, I know what she's going to be like

just don't take anything she says about your parenting style to heart. I would imagine that if she can no longer control you she will try and needle you by picking on your life now, and from what it seems to me your life is your kids (and jolly good thing too)

Whatever shit she throws on you remember you can offload on MN

And the other thing is remember you are NOT like her

That's very specific, hope I 'm not freaking you out

Suzy your advice as usual is bang on :) thankyou!

I'm not like her I'll never be like her I'm nicer than her

Kalms! Might try those!

They do have a puter, and I have the excuse of organising a swap thing on here to come on :) so that's ok!

I'll do ok I will I will I just thought I'd set up a thread to post lots of AAAAAARGHs on

oh and you can laugh at the things my mum comes out with too if you like

I would be watching her like a hawk for any inappropriate remarks or behaviour with the kids, and tell her if she does start you will leave.

You sound very saintly to me, fa

lol at moles

Blimey FA you are forgiving. Your parents are lucky to have you, even if they don't acknowledge it. Good luck!

Aye, twoundredfifty moles t' Nooorth tis, deepest darkest Yurkshire, aye, we measure t'all in moles oop 'ere..

In the past we've had a massive melt-down and had to be picked up my SIL... but she lives 250 miles away too so I really don't want to do that! Asking my parents to drive us back after a big bust up -

Ack I'm being really grumpy with the kids today, but they seem to be trying extra hard to wind me up

good luck fastasleep.

I'm not sure they're lucky... I feel guilty because I wanted to get away from them so much, I made up some things that weren't true and went to the police so I could go to a kids home... mum still has power over me because I fell so guilty about that (it never came to anything though, within a week I set them all straight)

she honestly made me believe that my lying to the police at the age of 12 totally ruined every aspect of her life, even though I tried to make it all ok again I can't seem to shake the guilty feeling because I still feel like everything bad about her is my fault...

You know, she's made me feel so bad about that that typing it out made me feel like I was admitting being a murderer or something... how did she do that?!

You just have to walk away if she starts on you. Unless something happens to make her realise she needs help, there's nothing you can do. It's so hard when you love someone and they don't deserve your love. My mum is a recovering alcoholic and suffered from depression linked anxiety. I found it really difficult to go round there. DH's parents are also alcoholics and down right nasty with it.

I hope things go well for you this weekend. You're a good person and you should be proud of what you've done since you've left.

FastasleepInTheHellPit, you are basically putting out an olive branch and that is the nice, grown up and responsible thing to do (whether they deserve it ir not) for your childrens sake. However, despite being in their house remember the children are yours, you are a grown up and you can leave at any time.

Take care, (and I hope it is not as dreadful as you anticipate).

I'm ready!

Just not packed...hmm... [fixed ]

have emailed you! :)

good luck, brave woman!

FA, you're strong, you can do this, but remember that you don't HAVE to do this and if you squeak loud enough on here, some nice MNer will drive you home. Or a chain of MNers will pass you, bucket-of-water-to-blazing-fire style, back home. Only you'll be going away from the fire or something. Bugger. Not a great comparison, really.

Er. You're NOTHING like her and you're a good person for doing this. And we all loves ya. Remember that.

I like the bucket thing that made me smile - FIT you are the sweetest woman ever (joint first place with a few others mind you)...

Have to pack now I really do!!!

You all love me? I'm popular! OMG... MTS/IJ was right... I have made it to...

'the inner circle'!! And not of hell neiver. (Not yet!) pmsl

Oh... [fixed ] DD just pooed [fixed ]

only it misseed her nappy [fixed]

..la la la la dee dah la...hmm hmmm hmm... la.... [fixed]

blimey fastasleep-sounds like my family!
seriously though, im amazed that you are going to visit her, they both sound horrendous. i know its easier said than done though to break contact as they are your parents, but if they start, go home, its not worth risking your sanity.

Which bit of Yorkshire is it, fa? We're in the same hemisphere and could do a cavalry charge if required

Fastasleep, they sound horrendous.

Good luck... hopefully it won't be as bad as you think.

You can always get your dd to poo on their carpet if they give you grief .

Harrogate Jan, but I couldn't do that to you love!! You're so sweet for asking though :)