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Original poster

Fastasleep's descent into Hell..... all messages of support welcome [wink]

73 replies

FastasleepInTheHellPit · 13/04/2006 14:46

I know this sounds pathetic but .....

I'M VISITING MY PARENTS. (TONIGHT!! FOR A WEEK!!)

Ok when you've stopped laughing lol - my parents are alcoholics, my mum has been mentally ill (but undiagnosed so no label for it) since I can remember, and my Dad is scary and anti-social and gave up talking to me when I was 8 (completely)... When I lived there (moved out 3 years ago, am 19 now) mum spent every night yelling insults at me and accusing me of everything under the sun and telling me how much she hated me etc... before then she used to take me to the doctors on a weekly basis with a new illness or injury or anything really... she pushed them till they diagnosed me with ME (much to my disgust even then) and depression (which was probably right but induced by her not anything else!!)... then she pulled me out of school, I spent some time in foster homes and children's homes and then I got married and left!

I'm going back cos I still love her, what an idiot huh?

Anyway I'm at the outer circle of hell atm - packing with two under two's around (ok one's 2.1 but still). My parents decided to pick us up (we're carless) a day early and weren't going to say until I called late last night....

Any tips on staying sane and not biting her head off or pulling my hair out and having a melt down on their kitchen floor if and when she starts her drunken insults?

Thanks for reading my fear induced ramble...

OP posts:
Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 13/04/2006 15:50

DD has orders to poo on their new carpet and blame it on the dog :) she's only 6 months though, so may have misunderstood!

Back to packing

blankets, camera, bowls, spoons DD food... oh the list is endless! Have till 5:30... bllcks!

OP posts:
Janh · 13/04/2006 15:59

That's not far at all, fa, halfway to my brother's (well sort of, we turn off towards Ripon) - I like Harrogate and haven't been there for years. Let me know if you do get desperate - seriously! Smile

(Please avoid Sun-Tue though as I'll be at w*rk)

biglips · 13/04/2006 16:01

FAS - good luck.. xxxx

If your mum start giving you grief... leave immediately!

Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 15/04/2006 21:04

Jan, thankyou! We'll be ok!

Thanks BL Grin

Weeeelll they are just as insane as I remember! Today was the worst so far...

Mum took me to Leeds, to buy bras (as I can only buy from Bravissimo and we don't have on and I needed a fitting!) anyway she convinced me that she's like to pay for two bras, one pair of knickers and a really nice fitted top... (I knew I'd pay fir this later anyway!) but GRRRR I left them hung on the back of a toilet door in Debenhams for literally a whole 3 minutes (it was very busy)... ran back in but alas, gone...she then had a massive panick attack, 'Oh oh oh I feel sick, ohh I'm all dizzy oh oh I'm shaking oh I need a drink' and then decided it would be a good idea to walk from Bravissimo to Debenhams and back again 7 times, asking again and again whether they'd seen my bag.... ugh... only I had to ask and look like an eejit because she of course, was stood outsife fretting away going insane and shaking wanting alcohol... then she decided we wanted a train that we didn't want - cue more shaking as I bundle her off at the next station and take her back to the start... and of course she hasn't shut up about the damn bras since and probably won't for at least a month (and she's still shaking and 'oh, oh oh'ing about it)

she also said my hair didn't suit me, and keeps repeatedly saying 'when you lose wait you'll be able to fit all kind of bras' which on it's own is a bit mean, but I weigh 7st with G cup boobs - I have a 28 back, I'm a size 6!!!! If I lost anymore weight I'd be ill. I'm trying to put some on!

And she keeps portraying DH as a complete weirdo, but he's being really tolerant despite the ugly comments!

Haven't hit her ...yet [fixed Grin]

OP posts:
Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 15/04/2006 21:05

OHH and don't even mention the 70 minute drunken massage!!!! Shock

AGONY!!

(She's doing a course in it, but had consumed two bottles of wine before doing me, I'm meant to be her guinea pig)

OP posts:
spacecadet · 15/04/2006 21:06

fastasleep-if you lost anymore weight, you would disappear!!!!!!!!

Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 15/04/2006 21:09

There's just be a pair of boobs on sticks spacey Grin

actually that's me right now!!!

OP posts:
7up · 15/04/2006 21:18

blimey fastasleep, am thinking of you!hope you make it through the night. youre staying a whole weekShock

hunkermunker · 15/04/2006 21:21

Thinking of you, FA... Eat some cake Grin

moono · 15/04/2006 21:23

Pair of boobs on a stick - lol Grin

FA - can't you cut short your stay? it sounds horrendous. You're bloody strong to put up with that.

Nemo1977 · 15/04/2006 21:26

FA you are more saintly than me. Your mum is very like mine a martyr to the cause..unfortunately the cause is us!! Just ignore anything and everything she says. When my mum passes comment on anything I just yes thank you for telling me. They really are not worth it although I would never be able to go and spend a week with my mum. Besides the fact she still has steparse living with her and my kids would be at risk I just couldnt tolerate the constant attacks at me or my kids and the guilt I feel for things that are not my fault and are her responsibility so well done you. If she gets too much just walk out.

gothicmama · 15/04/2006 21:32

keep repatig "I am sane and normal, it 'll be over soon" - works for me when MIL comes

gothicmama · 15/04/2006 21:32

repeating even

Stylish · 15/04/2006 23:02

Good Luck Fastasleep x

Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 16/04/2006 20:25

thankyou everyone!

Nemo, don't know if you'll read this... but got your message, this computer's buggy and MSN web messneger crashed straight after, ack it doesn't matter really I'm sure you weren't offended! :)

It's going ok tonight, although she's getting all funny about the bras and is saying she'll take me back to replace them, only I'll never hear the end... at least I can stare at my new bouncy boobs while she bangs on about it though!!!

Hello moono :)

Oh and I have ust eaten 13 chocolates - yum, so don't worry bout my stickishness! I love Easter!

it seems to go in phases...

I'm so not a saint!!

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 16/04/2006 20:36

Have you got DH there for moral support ? TBH, I think you are HUGELY generous staying for a week. I think a long weekend would be my absolute limit, in your shoes !

What actually happened with the bras ? Did she buy them and then you went to another shop and they were stolen at the other shop ?

Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 16/04/2006 20:40

I do have dh and he's fab he really is, so shouldn't complain... (although he doesn't stick up for me verbally that much!)

I went to Debenhams in search of toilets with mum, it was very very busy, hung bras in bag on the back of the door, hurried out of loo, got to the top of the escalator thought 'shit!' ran back in past loads of people and they were gone, then we traipsed round asking assistants/securtiy and checking everywhere...

I can't complain now mum's going to end up spending £200 on me Blush which is totally over the top, she does this and then never ever lets me forget about it though and I wish she wouldn't Sad

OP posts:
PutAPeachyInYourSimnelCake · 16/04/2006 20:46

FA

real sympathies sweetheart. My dad is a (former ) alkie and my Mum / Dad depressives so have a fair idea of the hell you're going through.

Have a meltdown if you feel the need. IME this sort of aprents are so wrapped up in themselves they'll barely notice anyhow. Do whatever you need to do to feel sane...... For me, it was always answering abck, despite whatever I got in return (another thread) bvut at least it kept my self esttem up and I valued myself, and that's what you must do, whatever is right for you.

Take care

XXXXXX

NomDePlume · 16/04/2006 20:48

bugger. she has her martyr head on, eh ? in your shoes i think i'd refuse all 'gifts' from her if that's the way she uses them. can you and dh get out for an hour or so? would you trust your parents with the kids ?

sorry about the lack caps, am being lazy Grin

spacecadet · 16/04/2006 20:51

fastasleep- you really do have my sympathy, i think you are a saint for even visiting, my father is an alcoholic and used to beat me in alcohol fuelled rages...i can just about bring myself to speak with him on the phone and hes lucky i do that.

Original poster
FastasleepInTheHellPit · 16/04/2006 20:55

Oh spacey Sad that's awful. My mum's too little (5ft) to ever actually get me, well, in my later years.. and Dad thank god only smacked me a bit enthusiastically once or twice.... Sad I wouldn't go near an arse like him either, it's good that you don't!

But But NDP...I ... the boobies... they look... bouncy and perky and ....Blush

dear lord I'm so superficial someone drag me down to earth!

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 16/04/2006 20:56
Grin
spacecadet · 16/04/2006 20:59

amEnvy of your bouncy/perky boobsGrin

spacecadet · 16/04/2006 21:01

mum is still riddled with guilt that she sent me to live with him at 13, the 3 years till i was able to leave home at 16 were hell, no one beleived me at school as dad was a respectable dr of plant pathology who wrote books on potatoe blight(yawn) and regularly appeared on local radio.

PutAPeachyInYourSimnelCake · 16/04/2006 21:02

(peachy sits backs and smiles at her perky-despite-three-kids 34b bobbies)

Wink