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Original poster

Does it pee you off when others wont srick to your routine?

57 replies

Mosschops30 · 12/04/2006 13:21

God I am fuming, listening to poor ds singing on his baby monitor because he cant get off to sleep.
Took him to the in-laws for 2 hours this morning, when I get back at 11.45 ds is asleep in buggy. They giggle 'oh sorry thats not in the manual is it'.
So I have to wake him up after 20 minutes sleep, feed him dinner, and now cant get him off to sleep.
If everyone else (childminder and friend who had him yesterday) can do it why cant they!

Rant over!

OP posts:
greyriver · 12/04/2006 13:32

Nitemare....don't know about your ds but if that happens to my dd she point blank refuses her nap....annoying when people don't stick to your routine as it messes the whole day up then.....

Ironmaidan · 12/04/2006 13:54

Oh, god yes!
Went away for the first time ever since dd was born and left her with the in-laws, routine written out and taped to the fridge door. They totally ignored it. I rang 1st night at 7:30 to check she'd gone to bed okay and she was still up! They also had no intention of putting her to bed either! When we arrived home she was asleep when I was expecting her to be having dinner. When she woke she cried and cried and I didn't know what she was asking for. Poor thing, it took me days to get her back on track. She's happy now tho.

CountessDracula · 12/04/2006 14:00

No I think when they are with others who are kind enough to look after them that they can do what they see fit! If it bothers you so much you should keep them at home. You can't force people to follow your routine IMO. It doesn't take long to get them back into one IME either.

zubb · 12/04/2006 14:00

it won't do any harm on the odd occasion though surely? it's good to get them flexible so that others can look after them isn't it?
With ds1 I used to give my Mum / MIL / sister etc a rough idea of what time to do what but would usually ring and be told that they were only about 2 hours behind my schedule! They were happy, ds1 was happy and got back to my timings quickly afterwards.

I wouldn't have worried about waking him up for his dinner Mosschops, might have meant that he is a bit later all day, but he would have had a good sleep then.

CountessDracula · 12/04/2006 14:00

My parents and PILS never stuck to my routines. In fact my MIL has dd in bed by 6 when she stays there!

gomez · 12/04/2006 14:04

Nah not really. I am with CD and whoever is looking after the girls does what works for them I am afraid.

tarantula · 12/04/2006 14:06

Just wish I'd got someone to take dd when she was little. Wouldnt ahve complained about routines not been followed at all. When I'm home Id leave dd with mum and kinda figure after 6 of her own she'll manage ok with dd.

blueshoes · 12/04/2006 14:06

The only thing that would bother me about people not following a routine is making my dd fall asleep outside of naptimes. This would mean that once I inherit her at the end of the day, her bedtime is totally screwed. But apart from that, agree that if you leave a child with someone else, you have to let go to a certain extent. A child would also relate differently to a different carer and might be easier or more difficult depending. They need to find their own rhythm. My dd was not one for routines generally, which made it difficult when she was a baby. But now as a toddler, she is very flexible and not fazed if we take her on holiday etc. Our house has been a construction site for the last few weeks and we could only live in a few rooms - all my dd said about this upheaval is "messy" and then got on with it.

compo · 12/04/2006 14:07

tbh I would just be grateful for the help!! I would have left him sleeping too - one day out of his routine won't hurt him

Blackduck · 12/04/2006 14:08

With CD on this - my ds gets to stay up way beyond his bedtime when he's with the in-laws - but I can't get stressed about it...

oliveoil · 12/04/2006 14:11

dd2 (20 mths) is a pain in the arse at the moment, sorry but it is true! God love her.

If she has more then 20 min sleep in the day, forget your evening until at least 10pm.

So I keep her awake if possible.

However, MIL has both dd1 and dd2 when I work and I wouldn't dream of insisting she does the same, she has her hands full as it is. So if it gives her some peace to let her nap for a few hours, I bite my tongue and prepare for a looooong evening.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 12/04/2006 14:13

so what happens when your child who normally sleeps for 2 hours after lunch has only slept for 20 minutes then CD? Just smile and enjoy the day from hell, because they are overtired and grumpy?

OP posts:
Caligula · 12/04/2006 14:14

It pisses me off if it makes my child unhappy or screws up his/ her sleep at the end of the day, but otherwise no. I think it's quite important that parents should be able to break routines once in a while without it causing a child to ahve a nervous breakdown, just so that they can do something different like visiting friends etc.

Janh · 12/04/2006 14:15

There was a v funny sketch about this on the Pam Ayres programme this week - from the grandparent's pov Grin - I used to get cross with my MIL too when mine were small and I realise now Blush how little it really matters.

\link{http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/ayresontheair/pip/u8pqs/\Listen again}

(There is also a moving poem about going back alone to a place she had visited with her sons when they were small Sad)

oliveoil · 12/04/2006 14:16

dd1 was completely different Mosschops, had to sleep for 2 hours.

So we used to insist on it. But then we turned up once at MIL's where both her and FIL were pacing about stressed as she was awake and we felt very bad so learned to loosen up a bit.

I agree it can be a pain, and dd1 was a NIGHTMARE come teatime, but I have learnt to bite my tongue on tons of stuff since!

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 12/04/2006 14:16

yes but if we visit friends or go to town shopping then he just sleeps in his buggy and will sleep for a good hour or so, but letting him drop off for 20 minutes and then saying ta-ta just really pisses me off Angry

OP posts:
Caligula · 12/04/2006 14:16

Personally Mosschops, in that situation, I wouldn't have woken him up. I would have just let him sleep for his usual two hours and given him his lunch later. CAVEAT - this does not imply any criticism of your course of action. Wink

I heard that Jan - it was great, wasn't it?

Janh · 12/04/2006 14:19

It was, C - the best sketch on the whole programme! (As she only has sons I wonder if it was gentle dig at a DIL?)

oops · 12/04/2006 14:19

wait till you have your second!
then it is YOU that messes up the routine everyday by doing something as innocuous as going for a crap or somthing Grin

oops · 12/04/2006 14:20

lol janH

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 12/04/2006 14:21

couldnt do that, wouldnt have minded at all if they'd offered that, but it was 'well we've got to get on now, bye'

OP posts:
PiccadillyCircus · 12/04/2006 14:21

Oops - you dared to go off and spend time in the bathroom (you weren't alone were you? Envy) Grin

Tinker · 12/04/2006 14:22

I'm stunned that anyone can get their child to nap when they (the parent) want them to. Can sort of manage it but my childminder (with much more experience than me) can't get my 2nd to nap when I would like her to.

zubb · 12/04/2006 14:26

mosschops - in that situation with ds3 (just about 8 months old) he'd have a sleep in the afternoon then for longer than he normally would. If we went out he'd all asleep in the car / pram and if we were in would probably fall asleep on the floor, so overall would have about the same amount of sleep albeit at different times to normal.

PiccadillyCircus · 12/04/2006 14:27

I'm actually amazed that DS (28 months) nearly always has a nap at nursery. Can I manage it? At any time other than something inappropriate like 5pm? No